Vettopet is offline Vettopet Post #1  July 27,2009, 2:48pm
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Does anyone ever wonder how they reached the age they are (for me, it's 55) without a partner in their life? I was married a LONG time ago, and was then in a live-with relationship for several years, but it's been over 20 years since I've been in a committed, loving relationship. I don't think I'm boring or unattractive or unsocial or _____, but I don't seem to meet men who are available & (to me) attractive/interesting. I try to get out to do various "group" things, such as going to dances, concerts, charity functions, parties, bike rides, but nothing seems to 'happen'. I don't attend church, since that's not something I am comfortable with (organized religion). There's got to be something I'm just not doing or going to or....? Any suggestions?
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #2  July 31,2009, 7:59am

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Start by posting a picture! Then post a dozen on eharmony. Then try other internet dating sites.
Ever hear " a pic is worth a thousand words?" That's the first thing that attracts you to someone; so go for the pic post first. And show good pics; not pouty, sad ones or you with shades on, or in the far distance. Show the pics that show you in a confident, upbeat mood; makes a big difference!
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #3  August 1,2009, 9:16pm
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Vettopet wrote :
Does anyone ever wonder how they reached the age they are (for me, it's 55) without a partner in their life? I was married a LONG time ago, and was then in a live-with relationship for several years, but it's been over 20 years since I've been in a committed, loving relationship. I don't think I'm boring or unattractive or unsocial or _____, but I don't seem to meet men who are available & (to me) attractive/interesting. I try to get out to do various "group" things, such as going to dances, concerts, charity functions, parties, bike rides, but nothing seems to 'happen'. I don't attend church, since that's not something I am comfortable with (organized religion). There's got to be something I'm just not doing or going to or....? Any suggestions?
Do you ever ask the guys out that you meet? And do you introduce yourself to any of the guys online, or do you wait for men to introduce themselves? Sometimes if you initiate, shy men will respond better, because they're happy someone noticed them! Just an idea..........Suzie
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #4  August 1,2009, 11:29pm
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I do the things you described too and after a year and some back out dating, I'm still single too. The dating gene pool is smaller at our age, like it or not. And lots of us come with enough baggage to fill a jumbo jet! Like you, I meet people but just not anyone who sparks "that" kind of interest for any period of time. I believe the possibilities are there, and we just have to continue doing what we're doing now - giving up and staying home isn't going to make it happen. Take heart!
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #5  August 12,2009, 6:41pm
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Vettopet wrote :
Any suggestions?
I do have a suggestion...date for friendship.

Seriously. Just start building friendships, but formally. Try to have two friendship dates a week. See what happens after a month.

I think you're just not trying to have enough 2 hour conversations with people. Attraction is just not a big deal to me it seems.
 
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pebblesamd is offline pebblesamd Post #6  August 18,2009, 5:31pm
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I understand. I finally met a wonderful man and, the phone stopped ringing. So, I'm starting over and today was my first step at trying to reach out (I joined this board). But, I was once told that I seem to "comfortable" with my life and I don't allow someone to feel needed. A friend suggested that I try to go out and do "active" things which force me to talk to someone. For example, she wants me to try eating at the bar of a family restaurant when it is crowded and talk to the single people around me. Or, she wants me to resume golfing lessons and join a book club....things that force me to talk. In fact, she was the one that prodded me to join this board.
 
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LifeRebuilder is offline LifeRebuilder Post #7  August 18,2009, 9:52pm
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pebblesamd wrote :
I understand. I finally met a wonderful man and, the phone stopped ringing. So, I'm starting over and today was my first step at trying to reach out (I joined this board). But, I was once told that I seem to "comfortable" with my life and I don't allow someone to feel needed. A friend suggested that I try to go out and do "active" things which force me to talk to someone. For example, she wants me to try eating at the bar of a family restaurant when it is crowded and talk to the single people around me. Or, she wants me to resume golfing lessons and join a book club....things that force me to talk. In fact, she was the one that prodded me to join this board.
I agree with your friend completely. If I did not get out of my comfort zone or my predetermined thinking of what I wanted I would have never met my partner. Just as an example I had it set in my mind that I did not want to date anyone over 6' because I am short and as soon as I decided to open up and allow not to judge anyone or allow myself to have this picture of a person in my mind that I thought was for me is when it happened. So, please follow your friends advice and you will be surprised at what the possibilities are for you.
 
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hopefloats7009 is offline hopefloats7009 Post #8  August 31,2009, 11:24am
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
I do have a suggestion...date for friendship.

Seriously. Just start building friendships, but formally. Try to have two friendship dates a week. See what happens after a month.

I think you're just not trying to have enough 2 hour conversations with people. Attraction is just not a big deal to me it seems.
Oh yesssss............this answer most definitely gets MY vote!
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #9  September 1,2009, 9:11pm
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[quote=hopefloats7009;725858]Oh yesssss............this answer most definitely gets MY vote!
I agree with you completely Hopefloats. Great post WDOL!!! Suzie
Last edited by 1Horselady; September 1,2009 at 9:14pm.
 
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