Aquaman87 is offline Aquaman87 Post #1  July 9,2009, 9:48am
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What is the best way to get feedback on a profile? I try to be honest, interesting, and sincere yet am disappointed by the number of matches closed before the first round of questions. I look at others' photos and profiles and feel mine is not that different. How can I tell what is turning matches off?
 
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LifeRebuilder is offline LifeRebuilder Post #2  July 10,2009, 8:15pm
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Aquaman87 wrote :
What is the best way to get feedback on a profile? I try to be honest, interesting, and sincere yet am disappointed by the number of matches closed before the first round of questions. I look at others' photos and profiles and feel mine is not that different. How can I tell what is turning matches off?


Aquaman87,
I am sorry to take so long to get back with you as I wanted to make sure that I covered most of the information that I felt could be helpful to you on your journey to find a partner.
After reading your comment, the first thing that came to my mind was to share some of my personal information with you so you can get some idea of how or why your matches might be closing you before giving you a chance. I do not know how long you have been on EH, or how many dates you have been on, but I can tell you that after being on the site for a year I only went on two dates. I will share one of the reasons with you so you can see why some people act in the manner they do. Some people are very particular about height, weight, drinking habits, wanting children, etc and for me it was height. I am only 5’3” and I did not want to even look at any profiles over 6’ because I did not want to feel as though the person was towering over me. I programmed myself into thinking what I thought I wanted and I am sure others do the same. The interesting part of this story is that I decided to stop judging and give all the matches that were over 6’ a chance, and as soon as I did, I met my partner. My partner happens to be 6’3”, which I would not have considered if I had not changed my attitude about what I thought was best for me. So, please do not be discouraged by people that have particular tastes in what they are looking for and have not learned that what they think they are looking for could be something different then what they expect. As you can see, if people were to stop judging so quickly, just as I did, they may have better luck at meeting that special person.
There are many reasons for your profile to be closed, as I can speak from experience as a woman. For example, when choosing the distance setting, at first most people think that putting 300 miles would not be that far if they meet someone interesting. But, when they get into the process, some start to realize that they do not want to drive the distance. Another point that might be helpful is to make sure you have more then one picture, and at least one where we can see your face without sunglasses on. Some people are able to notice body language from photos or facial expressions that might give them an opinion of what they think you are like when they do not even know. Also, be sure to correct grammar and spelling, as this is important to woman. One other thing I suggest to people is to check all of the settings on your profile. Sometimes, people may be sent to you even if your setting is different from what you are looking for. For example, if you choose “drink occasionally,” you may be sent a match that states never drinks. Sometimes these things slip through. You say that matches are closing you out before the first round of questions. Does this mean they are receiving your questions and then closing you out? I am curious as to the questions you choose to send because that alone can set the tone for what type of person the woman may think you are and could be setting the wrong one. When you do get the opportunity to answer questions, I find it best to choose D and fill in your own response, as this gives you a chance to get more of your personality across to woman. This process may take longer depending on how fast the person gets back to you with answers; from my experience, this can vary from each individual. For example, some matches respond quickly and you can be in open communication in one day. Some people may be busy and it can take several days before you receive a response and others may be eager to go to fast track. If you feel that your profile is the same as some of the others that you have looked at, I would be happy to look at your responses to some of the questions and give you a woman’s opinion because sometimes just changing a few words can make a big difference without having to change your personality. The last thing I wanted to mention is that EH sometimes offers free communication weekends. This means that you would only have them on your list of matches for the weekend unless they decided to join and pay the subscription fee, so if you are sending them questions and not receiving any response that could be the answer. I just wanted to reminded you again that I would be happy to review anything that you feel may be causing a problem but I also wanted to remind you that it does not take a lot of matches to meet the right one because as I mentioned I only went on two dates in one year. So do not get discouraged and we try to be a support group so feel free to come back and let us know how things are going for you. I hope some of this information will be helpful.
Thanks,
LRB
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #3  July 12,2009, 7:54pm
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The best way is to test it off eH... C r a i gslist for example...you can literally post "give me feedback please" and you can do the same on other free sites.
 
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