Incomplete profile and a bad picture can kill your eHarm experience


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JustSomeDude is offline JustSomeDude Post #1  January 24,2009, 12:02pm
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I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation....


So I joined eHarmony but didn't have much time to spend on it initially. I looked at the profile questions and answered some but some of them were auquard and because I wasn't sure what I should say I left it for later. Well, I got very busy with work/life and didn't really get back to it for over a month. My personality profile was very much down the middle and probably due to that fact, I got a lot of initial matches. Of course since I didn't have much in my profile I started getting a lot of closed matches. People will react more to the things you don't say there then the things you actually do say if the profile is not complete. I have no problem with people closing me, that is their perogative and they are only saving me unnecessary work but I'm sure many of these closings happened because I didn't complete my profile. I've been a member for about 6 months and my profile is in good shape, most of the new matches I'm getting do not close me which should say something, but now I do have about 200 matches in my closed stack, at least 50 of those I closed myself. Howerver I'm pretty sure about 75 matches wouldv'e kept me around if I had only done my profile the right way from the start. I'm not a desperate guy so I'm not really going to go through 50 matches I feel were a good fit and "ask them to reconsider"... sounds desperate to me. Its their loss. What I guess I'm just dissapointed by is that now new matches are coming only a few per week and I live in a densely populated area, Atlanta. I got my radius set to 30 miles because 60 just seems like such a long trip just to date in atlanta. 40 miles would mean a 45 minute drive just to meet for coffee.


I actualy adressed this issue with the eHarmony customer service thinking maybe they could reset my account and let all those ladies who closed me before have the options of closing me again if they wish. But they said they can't do that. So there is nothing I can do. I'm going through some closed matches and if I come across one that was closed early on I send them a final statement usually just saying good luck. That was they at least see my profile again.


I'm just writing this so that maybe it helps others and lets them know the importance of a good profile at the start of their eHarmony membership.
 
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LifeRebuilder is offline LifeRebuilder Post #2  January 28,2009, 2:49pm
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JustSomeDude, wrote :

I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation....


So I joined eHarmony but didn't have much time to spend on it initially. I looked at the profile questions and answered some but some of them were auquard and because I wasn't sure what I should say I left it for later. Well, I got very busy with work/life and didn't really get back to it for over a month. My personality profile was very much down the middle and probably due to that fact, I got a lot of initial matches. Of course since I didn't have much in my profile I started getting a lot of closed matches. People will react more to the things you don't say there then the things you actually do say if the profile is not complete. I have no problem with people closing me, that is their perogative and they are only saving me unnecessary work but I'm sure many of these closings happened because I didn't complete my profile. I've been a member for about 6 months and my profile is in good shape, most of the new matches I'm getting do not close me which should say something, but now I do have about 200 matches in my closed stack, at least 50 of those I closed myself. Howerver I'm pretty sure about 75 matches wouldv'e kept me around if I had only done my profile the right way from the start. I'm not a desperate guy so I'm not really going to go through 50 matches I feel were a good fit and "ask them to reconsider"... sounds desperate to me. Its their loss. What I guess I'm just dissapointed by is that now new matches are coming only a few per week and I live in a densely populated area, Atlanta. I got my radius set to 30 miles because 60 just seems like such a long trip just to date in atlanta. 40 miles would mean a 45 minute drive just to meet for coffee.


I actualy adressed this issue with the eHarmony customer service thinking maybe they could reset my account and let all those ladies who closed me before have the options of closing me again if they wish. But they said they can't do that. So there is nothing I can do. I'm going through some closed matches and if I come across one that was closed early on I send them a final statement usually just saying good luck. That was they at least see my profile again.


I'm just writing this so that maybe it helps others and lets them know the importance of a good profile at the start of their eHarmony membership.




I just wanted to add a couple points to your situation because I understand how you feel. My partner and I will sometimes make comments to the fact that people will only answer with one word. It does not give the other person a chance to get much of your personality. Just so, you know my profile was the same way when I first joined and then the girls at customer service helped me fine-tune it. I cannot say that there was a difference for matches wanting to communicate or close me. On the other side to that my partners profile had a picture taken from his cell phone, which I did not find very attractive, but his profile caught my attention. This is what I call one of those unexplainable situations because I am only 5’3" and 105lbs I would not normally date over 6 feet. My partner is 6’3” and that is why I call it unexplainable because to look at the facts of the profile, picture and height we would not be together. Instead, this is one of the best matches I met and have the most in common with on this site. My point is I think you are going to get matched up when it is your time regardless of all of the other factors involved otherwise I would not be with this person according to my must haves and can’t stands. I do agree with you on having the most information on your profile because as I stated it is the only way for someone to get their first impression of your personality.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #3  February 13,2009, 4:44am

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JustSomeDude, wrote :

I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation....


So I joined eHarmony but didn't have much time to spend on it initially. I looked at the profile questions and answered some but some of them were auquard and because I wasn't sure what I should say I left it for later. Well, I got very busy with work/life and didn't really get back to it for over a month. My personality profile was very much down the middle and probably due to that fact, I got a lot of initial matches. Of course since I didn't have much in my profile I started getting a lot of closed matches. People will react more to the things you don't say there then the things you actually do say if the profile is not complete. I have no problem with people closing me, that is their perogative and they are only saving me unnecessary work but I'm sure many of these closings happened because I didn't complete my profile. I've been a member for about 6 months and my profile is in good shape, most of the new matches I'm getting do not close me which should say something, but now I do have about 200 matches in my closed stack, at least 50 of those I closed myself. Howerver I'm pretty sure about 75 matches wouldv'e kept me around if I had only done my profile the right way from the start. I'm not a desperate guy so I'm not really going to go through 50 matches I feel were a good fit and "ask them to reconsider"... sounds desperate to me. Its their loss. What I guess I'm just dissapointed by is that now new matches are coming only a few per week and I live in a densely populated area, Atlanta. I got my radius set to 30 miles because 60 just seems like such a long trip just to date in atlanta. 40 miles would mean a 45 minute drive just to meet for coffee.


I actualy adressed this issue with the eHarmony customer service thinking maybe they could reset my account and let all those ladies who closed me before have the options of closing me again if they wish. But they said they can't do that. So there is nothing I can do. I'm going through some closed matches and if I come across one that was closed early on I send them a final statement usually just saying good luck. That was they at least see my profile again.


I'm just writing this so that maybe it helps others and lets them know the importance of a good profile at the start of their eHarmony membership.




I feel ya and have read the above. Just realize that even if you did have your profile completed, women on EH are in a rush to CLOSE out matches! This oughta be an Olympic event, who can close out matches. Ask any of the guys. I think it's because women are afraid of rejection. I live in the NYC metro area, in Jersey. Got lots of matches.


Though I don't mind going into theManhatten, I'd rather not go to Brooklyn, Bronx or Queens. Too far. But with the radius, they are so close, I get deluged with NYC people too far away per traveling time yet close enough per the EH radius thingie. Anyhoo I wish you better luck.
 
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