multitask is offline multitask Post #1  November 7,2009, 5:02am
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missing my honey....

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WALMART APPLICANT REVEALED..........

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California.They hired him because he was so funny....

NAME : K.Way .(Grumpy old bas*rd)

S*X : Not lately,but I am looking for the right woman.( or at least one who will co-operate)

DESIRED POSITION : Company president or Vice president.But seriously whatever is available.If I were in a position to be picky,I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY : $185,000 per year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance pacakage.If that is not possible,make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION : Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD : Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY : A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT : My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING : It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK : Any.

PREFFERED HOURS : 1.30-3.30 p.m. Monday,Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes,but they are better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER ?: If I had one,would I be here ?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50 LLBS ? : Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR ? : I think th emore appropriate question here would be, Do you have a car that runs ?

HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS AND RECOGNITION ? : I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE? : On the job - no ! on my breaks- yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS ?:
Living in Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel ,who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE : 7 miles.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE ?: Oh yes,absolutely.

** OLD PEOPLE ROCK**
 
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THX11386 is offline THX11386 Post #2  November 7,2009, 5:39am
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This is funny! Thanks for the laugh!
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #3  November 7,2009, 8:01am
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Matriarch of her herd

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Love the application!!!
Unfortunately Wal-Mart applications are done completely online. They don't allow more than 30 characters for each line.
Maybe the old f*rt did his app years ago, and the story is still around, even though he's probably dead. Sorry...
 
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RollingRock is offline RollingRock Post #4  November 7,2009, 8:17am
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remembered to wear the jacket, but where is the event ?

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Old people rock?
Thanks, yes, we do.
And sometimes we roll.....
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #5  November 7,2009, 10:30am
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looks catch the eye, personality captures the heart :)

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LMAO

Man; that is great. Today; because that app doesn't have "key words" it would probably never even be seen by human eyes. too bad; I'm betting HR people would love a good giggle as well.
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #6  November 7,2009, 1:54pm
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is still out there

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hahahaAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! lolololol cough coughcough........
 
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BobinFla is offline BobinFla Post #7  November 7,2009, 7:21pm
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is enjoying his retirement.

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Give him an "E" for effort anyway.
 
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winn is offline winn Post #8  November 7,2009, 10:21pm

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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multitask wrote :
WALMART APPLICANT REVEALED..........

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California.They hired him because he was so funny....

NAME : K.Way .(Grumpy old bas*rd)

S*X : Not lately,but I am looking for the right woman.( or at least one who will co-operate)

DESIRED POSITION : Company president or Vice president.But seriously whatever is available.If I were in a position to be picky,I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY : $185,000 per year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance pacakage.If that is not possible,make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION : Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD : Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY : A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT : My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING : It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK : Any.

PREFFERED HOURS : 1.30-3.30 p.m. Monday,Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes,but they are better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER ?: If I had one,would I be here ?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50 LLBS ? : Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR ? : I think th emore appropriate question here would be, Do you have a car that runs ?

HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS AND RECOGNITION ? : I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE? : On the job - no ! on my breaks- yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS ?:
Living in Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel ,who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE : 7 miles.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE ?: Oh yes,absolutely.

** OLD PEOPLE ROCK**
When I become a senior citizen, may God make me as snarky and wise as this person.
 
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timeless2 is offline timeless2 Post #9  November 9,2009, 4:32am
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wants you to have a Hippo Gnu Eel!

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lol I have a company work schedule that I'll post later. fits right in with this.. lol
 
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