TinkerKat is offline TinkerKat Post #61  October 6,2009, 8:53pm
TinkerKat's Avatar

is thinking....dangerous, I know....

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Neverland, 2nd star to the right

Posts: 4,209

See profile

I need a cookie, too. (since I burnt mine while reading this thread *sigh*)
 
  Reply With Quote
captnc46 is offline captnc46 Post #62  October 6,2009, 9:15pm
captnc46's Avatar

is very confused, too many bright lights

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2008

WV

Posts: 196

See profile

Taking it one step further with regard to sleeping together, if I'm dating with the intention of finding a partner, and I want guy with high moral standards -- I may want a guy who won't sleep with a gal on the first date. Right?

So I show up in a tasteful but slinky black dress, show genuine interest and affection, and entice the (poor unsuspecting) fella into safe sex on our first date. I do this to flush out the guys who are not LTR or marriage material.

What do you think? Problems? Concerns? [/quote]

Can I assume that this first date happens after the "getting to know you process" on EH. Let's say you really seem to like him and think that there could be something really good. Let's say he feels the same way. Now you go on that first date and you try seducing him to see if he's LTR or marriage material. Let's say he declines so now you think he might be a good one to hang onto. But now he's turned off because he doesn't like the idea that would sleep with someone on the first date. Now you might have blown a chance with a good guy because of this flushing out the wrong guy game you're playing. There has got to be a better way to go about this without sleeping with them on the first date. Personally, I don't like games or being "tested". Just be straight up and honest. Maybe instead of having sex on the first date you can try having a conversation with him and "ask" him what his thoughts are about having sex on the first date with a potential LTR partner.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #63  October 6,2009, 9:18pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

Where did all the men go who slept with me on our first date? What? There are none?

Apparently, they all refused my advances because they thought I looked trashy in my slinky black dress. Or they would not be seduced out of concern that they were part of some devious plot to entrap them. Go figure.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #64  October 6,2009, 9:23pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

captnc46 wrote :
Can I assume that this first date happens after the "getting to know you process" on EH. Let's say you really seem to like him and think that there could be something really good. Let's say he feels the same way. Now you go on that first date and you try seducing him to see if he's LTR or marriage material. Let's say he declines so now you think he might be a good one to hang onto. But now he's turned off because he doesn't like the idea that would sleep with someone on the first date. Now you might have blown a chance with a good guy because of this flushing out the wrong guy game you're playing. There has got to be a better way to go about this without sleeping with them on the first date. Personally, I don't like games or being "tested". Just be straight up and honest. Maybe instead of having sex on the first date you can try having a conversation with him and "ask" him what his thoughts are about having sex on the first date with a potential LTR partner.
Exactly. Great answer for the main boards, Cap't. Since this is CSC, I'll just ask instead: are you busy Saturday night? I'll bring cookies.
 
  Reply With Quote
captnc46 is offline captnc46 Post #65  October 6,2009, 9:26pm
captnc46's Avatar

is very confused, too many bright lights

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2008

WV

Posts: 196

See profile

peg099 wrote :
The sex is even better when you let go of the guilt
God, that's the truth. The Catholic school in our little town only went to 8th grade so their first taste of reality was when they hit high school with all of us. There was a lot of guilt being tossed aside then. Man, talk about a feeding frenzy.
 
  Reply With Quote
captnc46 is offline captnc46 Post #66  October 6,2009, 9:38pm
captnc46's Avatar

is very confused, too many bright lights

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2008

WV

Posts: 196

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
Where did all the men go who slept with me on our first date? What? There are none?

Apparently, they all refused my advances because they thought I looked trashy in my slinky black dress. Or they would not be seduced out of concern that they were part of some devious plot to entrap them. Go figure.
Hey, if I'm just looking for some fun and a good time then there is nothing I like more than a trashy, slinky black dress, especially if that's all you're wearing. (Wow, I just had some really good flash backs). Instead of cookies, you bring the ice cream and I'll bring the whipped cream.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #67  October 6,2009, 10:08pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

captnc46 wrote :
Instead of cookies, you bring the ice cream and I'll bring the whipped cream.
OK, and don't forget to wear your uniform.
 
  Reply With Quote
peg099 is offline peg099 Post #68  October 6,2009, 11:14pm
peg099's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Sep 2008

Canada

Posts: 12,516

See profile

captnc46 wrote :
Hey, if I'm just looking for some fun and a good time then there is nothing I like more than a trashy, slinky black dress, especially if that's all you're wearing. (Wow, I just had some really good flash backs). Instead of cookies, you bring the ice cream and I'll bring the whipped cream.
You forgot the chocolate sauce
 
  Reply With Quote
HarryG is offline HarryG Post #69  October 7,2009, 1:31am
HarryG's Avatar

Is missing his bride, the late Heather Everts-Grover (When I See You Smile)

Virtuoso

Joined: Apr 2008

Posts: 3,593

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
The premise is false for you.

How about this: you meet a gal who seems to be everyone you're looking for in a partner, the chemistry is magic, and you sleep together on the first date. Do you consider that she's slept with every other first date this year, as you continue to date her and run into other guys she's dated? If so, does this bother you?

This is a serious question -- I'm not mocking anyone, especially the frog.
No, I don't.

We are adults-not hormonally controlled children. If someone wishes to have sex on the first date, and their partner is also willing, then fine. All that means is that the two people found each other to be sexually appealing. It carries NO moral judgement unless you hold a belief system that equates sex between non-marrieds as sinful.

If I am attracted to someone, it is only partially sexual. We are sexual beings and sexual attraction is natural. But there is also attraction due to intellect, shared interests, humor.... so very many things. I do NOT find someone with a knockout body and a 3 cent mind or personality to be arousing. I speak only for myself, but it doesn't matter HOW active your reproductive organs may be-if you are a jerk, then I won't be having sex with you.

So (back to topic), if i meet someone who is a total turn-on on all levels, then I would be happy to have sex on the first date, and yes I would continue to see her and would definitely consider her as an LTR. The sex (hopefully) would be enjoyable. BUT, the sex would not be in anyway a determining factor of my opinion of the person.

As for fidelity... People who are unfaithful will be unfaithful regardless of when they decided to have sex with a partner.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #70  October 7,2009, 1:40am
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 8,463

See profile

JerryC wrote :
Winn:
I will yield to temptation because it may not pass my way again.


That reminds me of the 2 guys I had drinks with one night, they are childhood friends and one is a policeman. Suddenly he held up a pair of handcuffs, they both looked at me and smiled. As Winn correctly said "it may not pass my way again." so I smiled back............. Nuff said
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Holy Cow!!! | AAA Completely Stupid Conversations | What are you wearing... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Fear of Date? passat1 Dating 12 May 2,2011 8:13am
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 77 April 10,2011 5:11pm
Second date, No Kiss: is this guy even interested in me? bronte71 Dating 70 January 27,2011 5:27pm
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 10:29pm
Women who sleep with men on the first date: My thoughts gr8guy Dating 140 October 7,2009 10:39am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“He broke up...The best way to stay hung-up is to keep dwelling,wishing, hoping, reminiscing....Like staring at an empty bottle of booze when you are trying to quit drinking. Rather than focus on a ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“Oh how annoying - I had typed a HUGE post prompted by TheThinker's query as to why I would think it a good idea to wait 5-10 years to date/or until children are out of the house. I am too annoyed to ... ” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“This is very true. If someone has a truly old /outdated account since the questionnaire was altered then it's a decent solution. It's become an urban legend on eHA that this is a good idea. Mostly ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Shared interests and ones who are laddetts for mine.” –  ian80au

Join the “Green Flags in Profiles” discussion

“Completely cancel /delete your existing account. That will also cancel /delete all long-dead, geographically irrelevant matches. Since you are in a new area it's silly to use an old /outdated ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Removing old matches - there has to be a better way” discussion

“I'm very sorry for your loss, Suzanne. It's not surprising you're feeling confused and making some memory errors. That happened to me too when my mother died. Life just isn't normal for awhile. ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“I am closing this thread since the Original Poster (OP) was asking about the eHarmony of 2-1/2 years ago -- the thread is old (see date in the upper right of the first post). Some responses will no ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“Thanks for your advice guys, really helps out. I guess everything is a matter of balance, which isn't something that I can work out right now. I think I will focus on school for the remaining 3 years ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:10am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0