cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #1  April 1,2009, 2:41pm
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is not ready for Missouri summer

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carp!! I need help from you guys.


I interviewed for a job in February and they finally got around to making an offer. It's a good - but not yet great - offer. I'm negotiating with them and waiting to see if my own uni can cough up any more funds.


So far, there's no obvious "tipping point." I do know that if I move it will tank the relationship with my Republican. We've been dating nearly a year and it's just what I'd like - committed, exclusive, and low key. He specifically came back to mid-Mo to retire so he's not moving, and I decided some time ago that I wasn't doing any more LDRs. {I've just spent too many years saying goodbye in airports to people I love. Can't do it anymore.)


If I leave, I give up both tenure and a one-year (paid!!) research leave.


If I go, I move closer to parents and siblings but leave my daughters in the midwest. But, I'd get a 30-40% percent raise. I'm not really motivated by money alone, but I'm definitely underpaid where I am.


Please help me, oh wise CSC people....
 
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writergurl is offline writergurl Post #2  April 1,2009, 2:45pm
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I find with really hard decisions, that you know the answer but don't want to face it. Go with your gut on this. Your mind wants to run around in both directions, but your gut knows the answer.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #3  April 1,2009, 2:55pm
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I'd say make the decision based on whether you're willing to let go of the relationship.
 
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cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #4  April 1,2009, 2:57pm
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is not ready for Missouri summer

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writergurl,558940 wrote :

I find with really hard decisions, that you know the answer but don't want to face it. Go with your gut on this. Your mind wants to run around in both directions, but your gut knows the answer.
I am typically a very intuitive decision-maker, but I'm finding that the intuition goes both ways on this one, depending on how broke I feel on a given day.


But I hate having the $ drive the decision. That's not really what motivates me about a job.
 
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cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #5  April 1,2009, 3:01pm
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ThePriestess,558962 wrote :

I'd say make the decision based on whether you're willing to let go of the relationship.
It isn't serious enough yet to be the deciding factor, I don't think. But it could get to that point, given a little more time.


It wouldn't "break my heart" to let go of the relationship but I think I'd have a lot of regrets.
 
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HarryG is offline HarryG Post #6  April 1,2009, 3:03pm
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If the money that you make now is paying your bills, then I would stay. It seems like a lot to give up for a salary increase. However, if your current pay is not allowing you to make your ends meet...then you have to do what's best for your security.


Tough call.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  April 1,2009, 3:12pm
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For what it’s worth, as a younger person’s labor market experience, I would absolutely take a higher wage (though I’ve turned down NY stuff on the cost of living.)


I’ve found relationships to come and go, no matter what, but each time I got the pay bar raised, it really effected how well I enjoyed life, and the projections I had for the future.


Plus, with savings usually keyed to salary, you’re improving your retirement quality of life as well.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #8  April 1,2009, 3:27pm
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I say go for it... republicans are cheap these days and looking for a home wherever they can find a sym-pathetic ear...


I'm just kidding now... don't you all get your pant**s in a twist...
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #9  April 1,2009, 3:48pm
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D_Lion,559009 wrote :

For what it’s worth, as a younger person’s labor market experience, I would absolutely take a higher wage (though I’ve turned down NY stuff on the cost of living.)


I’ve found relationships to come and go, no matter what, but each time I got the pay bar raised, it really effected how well I enjoyed life, and the projections I had for the future.


Plus, with savings usually keyed to salary, you’re improving your retirement quality of life as well.
this is very well said D...
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #10  April 1,2009, 4:11pm
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REALLY tough decision CC...


As a teacher, really hard to give up tenure....


but 30 - 40 % raise is A LOT...


can you buiid tenure again?


Are you willing to relocate and stay in the new location?


DO you love the new location?


closer to aging parents may be very good...


daughters can come to see you...?


sounds like the relationship is what it is...


but not really a life tie to keep you there...


wow, I didn't help at all did I?
 
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