HappyG1rl is offline HappyG1rl Post #1  March 6,2009, 9:48am
HappyG1rl's Avatar

ahhh...wine and food...it's been a long day.

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Georgia

Posts: 75

See profile



I can't get interested in anybody I'm dating. I can't get past the idea that they're temporary.


This has been going on for quite some time, and at first I thought I was just going out with people I didn't have much in common with, and would stop dating them and move on. But it's a real pattern now.


I feel guilty. I think the guys' hearts are (for the most part) in the right place, but where is my head?


Is this normal? I've been divorced for three years, and never dated before I got married (met my ex-husband when I was eighteen). How do I start taking people seriously again?
 
  Reply With Quote
whitetip is offline whitetip Post #2  March 6,2009, 9:52am
whitetip's Avatar

......radio silence

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 803

See profile



Um...hmm...er...I don't know. I met my ex when I was 19 and am going on 2 years divorced, so I'm in the same boat. Easy way out, just don't date. But I'll admit it has its drawbacks....


You know you posted in CSC, right?
 
  Reply With Quote
HappyG1rl is offline HappyG1rl Post #3  March 6,2009, 9:55am
HappyG1rl's Avatar

ahhh...wine and food...it's been a long day.

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Georgia

Posts: 75

See profile

whitetip,518253 wrote :

Um...hmm...er...I don't know. I met my ex when I was 19 and am going on 2 years divorced, so I'm in the same boat. Easy way out, just don't date. But I'll admit it has its drawbacks....


You know you posted in CSC, right?
Yes, but I like you guys. The other boards can be a little touchy-feely and wishy-washy. Even if y'all make fun of me, I know I'm getting an honest response.
 
  Reply With Quote
sillymama is offline sillymama Post #4  March 6,2009, 10:00am
sillymama's Avatar

IS Wishing ManeiNeko AND DLion Love and Success!!!!!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Rocklin, CA (sacramento area)

Posts: 504

See profile



I say don't take it too seriously at first. You will gradually see a difference. The experts say that it takes half the lenght of your marriage to truly be over it and I didn't really believe that until recently. I have been divorced 4 years and, like you, met my ex at 18 and w as with him til I was 30. I am just now getting to that place where I take it seriously and am looking for all the right things.


It can be lonely, so do everything you can to keep busy and work on yourself (take a college class for fun, start going t o the gym, host more get togethers at your house and spend some time in CSC).


The fact that you noticed this pattern is probably a good step in your recovery!!! keep pushing forward!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #5  March 6,2009, 10:41am
littlebluemon…'s Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 13,649

See profile



Don't know how long you were married but everyone recovers differently and in different time periods. I think as long as you're being honest with the people you're dating (not looking for anything permanent right now) there's nothing wrong with just dating.


I spent quite a few years after my divorce practicing what I refer to as catch-and-release. As long as you're honest and you communicate clearly, that can work.


It's also possible you might be better off focusing on other things besides dating. Depends on your temperament, but times like this can be great for creative endeavors, finishing a degree, or learning a new skill.


One day you'll wake up and not just miss the smell of a man's skin or his breath against your neck, you'll miss having someone whose priority in life is (or should be) you and your happiness and well-being. In the meantime, that job falls to you. Good luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #6  March 6,2009, 11:54am
angelpoet's Avatar

is still out there

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

CA

Posts: 15,923

See profile



littlebluemonkeymind


" One day you'll wake up and not just miss the smell of a man's skin or his breath against your neck,"


oh you just had to go and put it like that....
 
  Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #7  March 6,2009, 12:06pm
littlebluemon…'s Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 13,649

See profile



angelpoet,518360 wrote :


littlebluemonkeymind


" One day you'll wake up and not just miss the smell of a man's skin or his breath against your neck,"


oh you just had to go and put it like that....


Well, yeah...that's always the first thing I miss, which then leads to the aforementioned and unfortunate catch-and-release practice.
 
  Reply With Quote
PY is offline PY Post #8  March 6,2009, 12:15pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 4,942

See profile



hmmmmm.....
 
  Reply With Quote
fino4beat is offline fino4beat Post #9  March 6,2009, 12:22pm
fino4beat's Avatar

The stranger.....

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

South Carolina

Posts: 12,538

See profile

angelpoet,518360 wrote :

littlebluemonkeymind


" One day you'll wake up and not just miss the smell of a man's skin or his breath against your neck,"


oh you just had to go and put it like that....
No kidding! And OP, I'm sorry. I am unqualified to answer your question. I haven't had anything remotely resembling a "date" in 100 years, lol. I've always fallen into relationships (good idea or bad idea) with people I already knew. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes you're SURE that's going to work out. Sadly, in my case, sometimes it doesn't.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« The Sandwich Generation.. | AAA Completely Stupid Conversations | What is your favorite........... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“He broke up...The best way to stay hung-up is to keep dwelling,wishing, hoping, reminiscing....Like staring at an empty bottle of booze when you are trying to quit drinking. Rather than focus on a ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“Oh how annoying - I had typed a HUGE post prompted by TheThinker's query as to why I would think it a good idea to wait 5-10 years to date/or until children are out of the house. I am too annoyed to ... ” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“This is very true. If someone has a truly old /outdated account since the questionnaire was altered then it's a decent solution. It's become an urban legend on eHA that this is a good idea. Mostly ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Shared interests and ones who are laddetts for mine.” –  ian80au

Join the “Green Flags in Profiles” discussion

“Completely cancel /delete your existing account. That will also cancel /delete all long-dead, geographically irrelevant matches. Since you are in a new area it's silly to use an old /outdated ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Removing old matches - there has to be a better way” discussion

“I'm very sorry for your loss, Suzanne. It's not surprising you're feeling confused and making some memory errors. That happened to me too when my mother died. Life just isn't normal for awhile. ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“I am closing this thread since the Original Poster (OP) was asking about the eHarmony of 2-1/2 years ago -- the thread is old (see date in the upper right of the first post). Some responses will no ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“Thanks for your advice guys, really helps out. I guess everything is a matter of balance, which isn't something that I can work out right now. I think I will focus on school for the remaining 3 years ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:40am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0