Application for permission to date a CSC Huzzie!!


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sillymama is offline sillymama Post #1  February 11,2009, 9:48pm
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IS Wishing ManeiNeko AND DLion Love and Success!!!!!!

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NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor with full clearance for S T D's.
  1. NAME:_________________________________DATE OF BIRTH:_____________________
  2. HEIGHT :___________ WEIGHT :____________ I.Q.__________ GPA____________
  3. SOCIAL SECURITY#_________________________________________ ________________
    DRIVERS LICENSE#__________________________________________ _______________
    BOY SCOUT RANK:_____________________________________________ _____________
  4. HOME ADDRESS:__________________________________________ __________________
    CITY/STATE_________________________________________ ZIP_________________
  5. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _______ yes? _______ no?
  6. Number of years parents married:_________________________________________
  7. Do you own a van? _________ A truck with oversized tires? __________
    duct tape and gag? _________ Do you have a belly ring?_______________ Tatoo of your ex's name?_______________
    (IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
  8. In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT WHINE ABOUT YOUR EX TO ME MEAN TO YOU? __________________________________________________ _______________________
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
  9. In 50 words or less, what does I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW mean to you?



    __________________________________________________ _______________________
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
  10. In 50 words or less, what does FORE PLAY mean to you? __________________________________________________ _______________________



    __________________________________________________ _______________________
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
  11. Congregation you attend:___________________________________________ ____
    How often do you JUDGE OTHERS WITH YOUR CONGERGATION?_____________________________________ ____________



    When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? (supply phone numbers)__________________________________________ ___
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
  12. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________




ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.



  1. Please include a drawing of what 6 inches is in your mind __________________________________________________ _______________________
  2. Please list examples of when it is OK to hit a woman ______________ __________________________________________________ _______________________
  3. "A woman’s place is in the ______________________________________________
  4. "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_________ __________________________________________________ _______________________
  5. "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is ______________ __________________________________________________ _______________________





(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running
in a serpentine fashion.)











I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.











____________________________________________
SIGNATURE (That means your name, moron!)


Thank you for your interest in a CSC Huzzie. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will notify you – one size fits all.
 
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lostintime5 is offline lostintime5 Post #2  February 11,2009, 9:58pm

Somewhere lateral and longitude, so what?

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Good grief, that's just as bad as the purity test. But, you left off the Lorena Bobbitt issue.
 
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sillymama is offline sillymama Post #3  February 11,2009, 10:03pm
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lostintime5,483713 wrote :

Good grief, that's just as bad as the purity test. But, you left off the Lorena Bobbitt issue.
I knew I forgot something, dang it!!!!
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #4  February 11,2009, 10:17pm
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Do they fill this out before the first date (meet and greet), or it is a requirement for the second date to happen? A technicality perhaps...
 
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vapsman88 is offline vapsman88 Post #5  February 11,2009, 10:51pm
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is happy.

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BobinFla is offline BobinFla Post #6  February 11,2009, 11:19pm
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is enjoying his retirement.

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What happens if it takes more than 6 inches to show the entirety ( that is if the person is talking about sexuality). I haven't even seen a ruler that only shows 6 inches. The depth of a Hot fudge Sundae will be about the measurement you are talking about.
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #7  February 11,2009, 11:48pm
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- in stealth mode.

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NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor with full clearance for S T D's.
  1. NAME:________illustrator______DATE OF BIRTH: on my birthday
    HEIGHT :__5’8” WEIGHT :__143 - 150__ I.Q.__huh?___ GPA 4.0
    SOCIAL SECURITY#___________987-65-4321____________________
    DRIVERS LICENSE#_______________MO 987654321______________
    BOY SCOUT RANK:__________________Spec 4 in the Army .
    HOME ADDRESS:_ h ttp://advice.eharmony.c om.au/group/aaa-completely-stupid-conversations_
    CITY/STATE___________Columbia, MO__________ ZIP____65202_______
    Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? ____X___ yes? _______ no?
    Number of years parents married:______for as long as I can remember______
    Do you own a van? _________ A truck with oversized tires? __________
    duct tape and gag? _________ Do you have a belly ring?_______________ Tatoo of your ex's name?_______________
    (IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
    In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT WHINE ABOUT YOUR EX TO ME MEAN TO YOU? ____________WINE and Dine you and not her ________________

    In 50 words or less, what does I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW mean to you?
_______means you just might like me enough to call tomorrow_____

10. In 50 words or less, what does FORE PLAY mean to you?
__________________________um - a foursome ? __________


11. Congregation you attend:___________I congregate at CSC________
How often do you JUDGE OTHERS WITH YOUR CONGERGATION?
___What's to judge? Aren’t we all stoopid?________________
When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? (supply phone numbers)
___________Caller ID - They won’t answer___________________

12. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ___I wanna be a grown - up__
ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.
  1. Please include a drawing of what 6 inches is in your mind
___( see enclosed atttachment – drawing on a 3x2 inch piece of paper )_
  1. Please list examples of when it is OK to hit a woman
________________when you’re hi tting ON them________________
  1. "A woman’s place is in the _____________CSC Group___________
    "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _
______________what does illustrator actually look like?_________
E. "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is _
________how she’s undressing me with her eyes______________
(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running
in a serpentine fashion.)
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DE ATH, DIS MEM BERMENT, SOLDIER ANT T0RTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER T0RTURE, ELECTR0CUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS T0RTURE.
_________________Illy___________________________[/b]
SIGNATURE (That means your name, moron!)
Thank you for your interest in a CSC Huzzie. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway). Any attempt to make contact might cause you in jury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will notify you – one size fits all.
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #8  February 12,2009, 3:36am
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Let them trace it on the back of the app ... that doesn't require any mental calcualtion ... just some dexterity ... and we need to see some demostration of that ...
 
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timeless2 is offline timeless2 Post #9  February 12,2009, 4:50am
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Ahhhh a woman after my own heart!!!
 
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Tyym is offline Tyym Post #10  February 12,2009, 6:54am
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is moving forward...

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sillymama, wrote :

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor with full clearance for S T D's.
  1. NAME:_________TYYM____________________DATE OF BIRTH:_____63______________
  2. HEIGHT :___5'7"____ WEIGHT :____153_____ I.Q.___131___ GPA_Gallons per Hour?
  3. SOCIAL SECURITY#____________12344321_____________________ ________________
    DRIVERS LICENSE#_____________1234554321___________________ _______________
    BOY SCOUT RANK:________________FIRST CLASS________________________________
  4. HOME ADDRESS:______VAGRANTVILLE________________________ __________________
    CITY/STATE_______TAMPA FLORIDA_______________________ ZIP___36623________
  5. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? ___X___ yes? _______ no?
  6. Number of years parents married:________47 UNTIL DEATH___________________
  7. Do you own a van? ___N_____ A truck with oversized tires? ___N______
    duct tape and gag? ____N____ Do you have a belly ring?_______N_______ Tatoo of your ex's name?______N________
    (IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
  8. In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT WHINE ABOUT YOUR EX TO ME MEAN TO YOU? _____FINDING THAT WHICH I AM GRATEFUL FOR AND HAVE LEARNED AS A RESULT_____________
  9. In 50 words or less, what does I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW mean to you?



    ___EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS! SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY_______________________________________________ ___
  10. In 50 words or less, what does FORE PLAY mean to you? __________________________________________________ _______________________



    __FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
  11. Congregation you attend:__________ALLIANCE CHURCH_________________
    How often do you JUDGE OTHERS WITH YOUR CONGERGATION?______I DON'T JUDGE______________



    When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? (supply phone numbers)___ANYTIME, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO PRAY TO SPEAK WITH MY MOM_______________
  12. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ______SPANKED____________________






ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.





  1. Please include a drawing of what 6 inches is in your mind __________________________________________________ _______________________
  2. Please list examples of when it is OK to hit a woman _____NEVER.... EVER! __________________________________________________ _______________________
  3. "A woman’s place is in the _______HEART__________________________________
  4. "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_I'M OPEN... I'LL ANSWER ANYTHING __________________________________________________ _______________________
  5. "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is ____SMILE_____ __________________________________________________ _______________________





(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running
in a serpentine fashion.)











I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.











_____ME_______________________________________
SIGNATURE (That means your name, moron!)


Thank you for your interest in a CSC Huzzie. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will notify you – one size fits all.






I was going to be a smart azz, but I just started being me.... sorry
 
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