ShroudedCnight is offline ShroudedCnight Post #1  September 14,2009, 2:17pm

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The Song: Safe to Land
By: Jars of Clay
Album: The long fall back to earth

Youtube Link: YouTube - Jars Of Clay -- Safe To Land -- The Long Fall Back To Earth
 
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ShroudedCnight is offline ShroudedCnight Post #2  September 14,2009, 2:24pm

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~~~Lyrics~~~

Safe To Land

Getting tired from all this circling
Not much grace left on a broken wing
I feel the wind trying to push me down
It happens every time I get to town

I search for shelter near the mines we swept
I guess forgiveness hasn't happened yet
There are no words that I can say to you
That turn this careless sky from black to blue
So I'm asking you is it safe? Is it safe to land?
‘Cuz I'm not going far on an empty heart
Is it safe? Is it safe to land? It's the long fall back to earth is the hardest part

I'm in no weather for apologies
I need your runway lights to burn for me
And if you say that I can come around
I'll love you right, yea I won't let you down, I won't let you down

‘Cuz I'm coming home, if these wheels touch down
I'm coming home I'm waking you up in the middle of the night I'm not giving up
I'm gonna stay ‘til we make it work
We're not going down even if it gets worse
We'll work it out. Yeah we'll work it out.
I need your light to guide me in
Oh, Yeah is it safe?
Last edited by ShroudedCnight; September 14,2009 at 3:03pm.
 
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ShroudedCnight is offline ShroudedCnight Post #3  September 14,2009, 2:24pm

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Love Covers Over
Last edited by ShroudedCnight; September 14,2009 at 2:57pm. Reason: Double Post
 
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ShroudedCnight is offline ShroudedCnight Post #4  September 14,2009, 2:56pm

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I identify with this song because it seems to express the feelings I have when I'm in my "manic" state. In specific, it addresses my feelings towards groups like this one.

Getting tired from all this circling
Not much grace left on a broken wing

This reflects how when I'm manic it's like I'm on a roller coaster than won't stop. I'm getting tired from circling but I just can't let myself down. I start having anxiety attacks and I need a "safe place to land".

This is what my previous posts about my problems have essentially been about at the core: expressing this desire for a "safe place to land".

And here's why I have anxiety attacks: When I wind up in the emergency room, I don't feel safe. I start having deja vu about past experiences where I've been strapped down (restrained). This increases my anxiety and I panic.

My panic is taken as just an expression of my manic self, when in actually it is justified by my deja vu about past episodes.

In fact, Satan tries to show me how much being restrained in the emergency room is like being locked in the abyss. You get strapped down, everyone leaves, they turn off the lights. Satan whispers "Just imagine you have to stay here for 1000 years". I PANIC! I SHOUT! I WANT OUT....

Even though I say it's Satan, it is my own imagination that whispers this back to me. At the point of being in the emergency room I seem to have little defense against my own imagination. They strip me of all my comforts and put me into a room filled with medical equipment. It doesn't even feel like a safe place to land when it's so cold and unfeeling. The walls feel like prison, there is no windows, I'm not even allowed to touch the medical equipment in the room (For in my manic phase I try to organize things for people out of kindness because I find nothing else to do).

That's why it's so hard for my wheels to touch down when I'm manic. I'm looking for a safe place to land.

So I'm asking you is it safe? Is it safe to land?
‘Cuz I'm not going far on an empty heart

When I wind up in these situations I am very lonely. And my anxiety is about being left alone. The solution to this would be just to sit an hold my hand.

But everyone in the ER is too busy to hold hands. They have to come up with a medical solution.... So I'm asking you, is it safe to land? or am I going to get strapped down all night again?

Is it safe? Is it safe to land? It's the long fall back to earth is the hardest part

To me, the long fall back to earth is when I go from manic, all the way down to anxiety attack. I do whatever I can to avoid it. But when I get restrained and then left alone.... my worst nightmare becomes reality. This is why I relate to it being "The long fall back to earth".

I'm in no weather for apologies
I need your runway lights to burn for me
And if you say that I can come around
I'll love you right, yea I won't let you down, I won't let you down

But when I find someone willing to hold my hand while I fall. This is someone who is grounded, someone who's willing to "burn their runway lights for me". Someone who can stay grounded and comfort me on the way down. I need these types of people. And I believe many in this group, Peaceful Oasis, are those types of people. I only wish I had you not just on the internet but in the flesh as well.

I don't want you to go on the ups and downs with me. I just need you to "burn you runway lights" so I can come back down. And if you say that I can come around
I'll love you right, yea I won't let you down, I won't let you down

That's how I view this group, and the rest of the song is about how I treat people who are that type of friend to me, it's about working it out, staying for the long haul.

‘Cuz I'm coming home, if these wheels touch down
I'm coming home I'm waking you up in the middle of the night I'm not giving up
I'm gonna stay ‘til we make it work
We're not going down even if it gets worse
We'll work it out. Yeah we'll work it out.
I need light to guide me in
Oh, Yeah is it safe?
Last edited by ShroudedCnight; September 14,2009 at 3:06pm.
 
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ShroudedCnight is offline ShroudedCnight Post #5  September 14,2009, 3:35pm

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This is an uplifting video that is a response to my fears and anxiety.

Song: By Your Side
Artist: Tenth Avenue North
Album: Over and Underneath

Youtube Link: YouTube - By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

Lyrics:

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)
 
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