Good at relationships; Bad at dating

Okay, I'm not sure how to explain this without sounding like I'm patting myself on the back, but hear me out. I don't make friends easily, but when I do, I'm good at it. I'm good at listening, knowing when to sympathize and when to try to be helpful, understanding the other person's needs, making time for them, etc. That's why I have several strong friendships with women in my life. I'm close with my Mom, my sister, several female cousins, and at least one of my aunts (My mom's kid sister, who is only a few years older than me) as well as the preacher's daughter at my old church, and several other women. (Of course it's not exclusively women, I have plenty of guy friends too, including a mix of family and non-family as well.) These aren't casual, hi/bye relationships, but real friendships.

So, the problem is, I'm good at relationships, but bad at dating. I've done pretty well in the romantic relationships I've had, as far as the relationship goes. And I do okay sending cards and flowers and such within a relationship. I don't navigate the maze of dating to get to a relationship well, however. The dating rituals don't have any real bearing on having a real relationship as far as I can see, but you have to ace them before most women will give you a chance.

I never know how soon is too soon to send roses, for instance. Is that too forward on a first date (or a first meeting, after time in OC on eHarmony)? When is it an insult not to try for a kiss? (Personally, I believe in "no touch" until marriage, or at least engagement, but I've had women tell me they felt insulted that I didn't try to kiss them after an exceptional first date. Not that they would have let me, but it was some kind of disparaging comment about them that I didn't try.)

Of course, I know some of the rules (The girl laughs at your jokes early on, even if she doesn't think they're funny; keep everything light, and don't discuss anything controversial on the first several dates; tell them they look great, even if they're only passable). I had a friend once who said after his divorce that he was wary of dating again because on a first date, "you're both so phony at that point." My problem is, I don't play those kinds of games, or at least I'm not any good at them. I just am who and what I am, and I call it like I see it. I try not to be ugly about it, but I have been known to be blunt. I appreciate the same kind of honesty from the young woman. Otherwise, you don't really like the other person; you just like the image they've created of them on their best behaviour.

It's like they tell preacher's in seminary: When you go to candidate for a church, you don't preach your best sermon, and you don't preach your worst. You preach one of your average sermons. That way, the people in the church have an honest idea of what they're going to get week in and week out. So, I believe both parties ought to just be real on a first date, so you know what you're getting.

I've found, however, when I am real and transparent early on (I'm not talking about being rude or unpleasant, just not putting on any airs), that young women think, "If that's him at his best, I don't what to see what he's like when the facade wears off." simply because it's assumed you're putting on a front to impress them.

So, I guess my question is: First, what are some of the rules regarding flowers and kisses, etc. Second, do I just need to practice up on my acting and lying skills to get further into a relationship, or is there a woman out there who will "take me as I am" warts and all?