WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #1  January 11,2009, 8:47pm
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5. What’s missing in my life?
 
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QT314159 is offline QT314159 Post #2  January 17,2009, 6:58am
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I have a pretty enjoyable life but I would also like to have that person in my life that is the first one I want to contact or see when something important, or exciting, or funny, or sad happens.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #3  January 17,2009, 4:37pm
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Please say more... you just described 'mother' to some... you want a boyfriend? You want marriage? You want what. What are values of that person...what is their behavior?
 
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freein05 is offline freein05 Post #4  January 18,2009, 11:54am
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I want a kind, loving, honest man who loves me for me. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or support me (monetarily), but for someone I love to spend time with. I want him to be the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.


I was married for 17 years, so I also know what I DON'T want! I married "Prince Charming", and he turned into a frog.A man who tells me he loves me on our second date, having only had one other girlfriend before me (at 24), isn't experienced enough to know what real love is. As long as things were going well, we were both blissfully happy, but as soon as we hit a real road bump, he "fell out of love".


I want a man who has enough experience with relationships to move at the right pace, and recognize the real thing when he sees it. IMHO, shared values, friendship, and mutual attraction are the underlying things that are needed for true love. Different hobbiesor interests are in the details..you may find that sharing your interests enriches both of your lives.


- j
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #5  January 20,2009, 9:52pm
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freein05,437820 wrote :

I want a kind, loving, honest man who loves me for me. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or support me (monetarily), but for someone I love to spend time with. I want him to be the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.
What would you give up for that? How about a career? Money? Perhaps even your lifestyle?


I'm asking because when someone says "I want someone to love me for me." , that's fine, but isn't that really just a great friendship? Is it really the FEELING that you want with someone or the COMMITTMENT (is it the feeling good...or the certainty of knowing they're you're partner?)... can this only happen in a marriage? ... could it with friendship? (I actually think it can.)
 
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freein05 is offline freein05 Post #6  January 21,2009, 12:02am
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WeDesignOurLives,442732 wrote :

freein05,437820 wrote :


I want a kind, loving, honest man who loves me for me. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or support me (monetarily), but for someone I love to spend time with. I want him to be the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.


What would you give up for that? How about a career? Money? Perhaps even your lifestyle?


I'm asking because when someone says "I want someone to love me for me." , that's fine, but isn't that really just a great friendship? Is it really the FEELING that you want with someone or the COMMITTMENT (is it the feeling good...or the certainty of knowing they're you're partner?)... can this only happen in a marriage? ... could it with friendship? (I actually think it can.)




What would I give up? Hmmmmmm.....The only complete deal-breaker would be relocating and leaving my 10 yr old son.


My career is "portable", since I'm retired on disability until the doctors can convince the Dept of Labor to let me return to work. After not working for 17 years, I'm contemplating a career change when I'm released anyway. My other (non-paying) "work" is writing, which I can do from anywhere.


Money...LOL! I don't have that much to give up! However, my income declined significantly after my divorce, and I found that I'm actually happier not having to buy the "latest thing", andhave a lot ofmaterialistic stuff. I'm actually happier with less, even though I have to budget very carefully.


As for "loving me for me", that is one of the basics of a good friendship, but I think that most good, solid, "romantic love" relationships are built on friendship. I know that a friendship can turn into more, but there are different kinds of love.


I'm trying to change my lifestyle (atleast the romantic part)right now. Overall, I'm happy with my life, but I miss having a special man who loves me, and wants to share his life with me I'm looking for romantic, committed love, along with the emotional and sexual intimacy that are different than the love I feel for my son, family, or friends. That special mixture of freindship, chemistry, honesty, romance,and committment...that I can return just as fully. I want the feeling of being IN love, along with the committment that we are partners for life. So, I guess I want it all!!


I don't think this has to happen in a marriage. In fact, I'm a little conflicted about whether or not I want to actually get married again. If I feel that I've found the right man, I would seriously consider it, but I don't think that a "life-partner" requires marriage.
 
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trixiered is offline trixiered Post #7  January 21,2009, 11:42am
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WeDesignOurLives,442732 wrote :

freein05,437820 wrote :


I want a kind, loving, honest man who loves me for me. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or support me (monetarily), but for someone I love to spend time with. I want him to be the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.


What would you give up for that? How about a career? Money? Perhaps even your lifestyle?


I'm asking because when someone says "I want someone to love me for me." , that's fine, but isn't that really just a great friendship? Is it really the FEELING that you want with someone or the COMMITTMENT (is it the feeling good...or the certainty of knowing they're you're partner?)... can this only happen in a marriage? ... could it with friendship? (I actually think it can.)




Your comments are always thought provoking, but never personal. Why
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #8  January 21,2009, 4:02pm
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trixiered,443370 wrote :

Your comments are always thought provoking, but never personal. Why
Well you said why...because I want them to be thought provoking. I want to gain the benefit of reading others' view on life. That's why I started this group...to cause 75 streams of conversation I could observe.


So there you have it... a personal statement.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #9  January 21,2009, 4:03pm
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trixiered,443370 wrote :




Your comments are always thought provoking, but never personal. Why
((Your profile photo is always a layer cake, but never personal. Why))





LOL!
 
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5littlebird is offline 5littlebird Post #10  March 1,2009, 4:35pm
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Right now the only things that are missing are financial security......and a life companion to help me spend it!
 
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