KS_Disrupted is offline KS_Disrupted Post #1  June 27,2009, 5:08am
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Fact is ladies, you will end up abused if you allow your true nature to show to the wrong male. If he is not naturally dominant and understanding; run as fast as you can away from him. He will not only take advantage of your nature, but attempt to use it only to his benefit and try to force rape, control, abuse of many different kinds, etc. I would sure like to hear from the women who have been abused for their "natural nature". I think it is time to get rid of the stigma associated with abused women and the assumptions that they like this, when in fact they are generally taken advantage of and abused because they meet all the wrong guys and accept it instead of moving away from him.
A true submissive runs much deeper than an abusive male will ever dream of.
 
 
ebenezer is offline ebenezer Post #2  June 29,2009, 10:26am

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It is a pity than any man would ever think that hurting a woman is a way to resolve conflict with her. Such behavior is a sign of deep weakness. It is sad to read story after story of women who have been abused in their relationships with men. To you all abused women I say you can rise and shine again. That guy was just the wrong person. There are many good men who are gentlemen and not frogs. Be careful (not over careful though) next time around. You will eventually find your true Adam with whom you will live happily. Edward
 
 
Dread_Pirate_Roberts is offline Dread_Pirate_Roberts Post #3  July 12,2009, 5:18am
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Quite concur with both of you, D/s and other forms of intimacy and bonding are NEVER about abuse, harm and emotional/psychological damage.

IMO, far to many rush in blindly without awareness or understanding themselves, respecting boundaries, showing mutual respect and awareness.

Self discipline and control, knowing the 'red flags and danger signs' and making a priority of getting intimately acquainted before any serious encounters or explorations begins are non-negotiables for me personally.

Applies for both the dominant and submissive in any relationship or encounters.
 
 
ebenezer is offline ebenezer Post #4  July 26,2009, 6:40pm

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Submission to one's husband is the sweetest thing for a wife to create loving atmosphere. Now please do not get ready to hang me. Because I want to add that the submission the Bible talks about is often misunderstood to mean the kind of a slave's to a master. Far from it. The atmosphere in which the Bible commands submission from a wife needs to be present in the relationship for the whole thing to work as intended. What the Bible has in mind is a situation where the two, husband and wife, first submit to Christ and to one another in reverence for Christ. That's what Ephesians 5:21 says. Then in that atmosphere of mutual submission and humility, the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto Christ. But the husband is given even a greater command: to love his wife as Christ loved the church. My!! How does Christ love the Church? He loves the Church in a myriad ways, but one very important way is that He put the Church's needs ahead of His own. This is the first task of a husband who expects his wife to submit to him.
 
 
ebenezer is offline ebenezer Post #5  July 29,2009, 3:39pm

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Here are some quotes that I think come close to describing what I think the Bible means when it commands men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. In an atmosphere that is created by such love from a husband, it should be easy, or even just natural, for the wife to submit to the husband, or, should I venture to say, to want to submit to the husband.


  1. "Love your wife as Christ loved the Church."(Ephesians 5:25) Risk your life to help or save your wife. Christ's love for the church is without limits, nothing is held back. He gave His life for the church - before you loved Him. His love does not depend on your love for Him. Under God's authority - love your wife as service--as giving your life to God.
  2. "Love your wife in the same way you love your body and your life."(Ephesians 5:28-33) You care for your body daily to be as well fed and healthy as possible. You quickly take care of any needs or desires. Any sexual desire as a husband should be cared for with your wife. In the same way, care for your wife's needs and well being. Feel your wife's pain and illness and rejoice in her health as if it were your own life. A husband must see his wife's sexual desires and make supreme efforts to meet those needs too. Basically, her need or desire whether financial, physical, emotional or spiritual in your relationship must receive your full effort. Only in this way can you love her and provide for her just as well as you do for yourself.
  3. "Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect ..."(I Peter 3:7) The Bible says that if we neglect this command, our prayers will be hindered! To be considerate, quit any irritating habits! When she needs to be helped carrying heavy items, do it! If she needs time you can take care of the family! Help your wife with all of your energy, show your love to her with all consideration. Pray to see where you may be inconsiderate.
  4. "Do not be harsh with your wife."(Colossians 3:19) When a wife is sensitive realize that harsh answers, angry looks, irritated tones of voice and impatience will deeply affect your wife. Rejoice that she is a lady and isn't like you - remember that she is a precious gift God has given you.
  5. "The husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."(I Corinthians 7:3-5) Please your wife physically. Don't deprive her of what she needs. Your wife may not tell you that she would like to climax during times of intimacy. Assume that she would like to orgasm and work to please her. A wife might become more active in sex if her desires were being met! Sexual pleasure is something that is given, not forced or taken.
  6. "Rejoice in your wife all your life. Let her breasts satisfy you. Be captivated with her."(Proverbs 5:18-19) No man should look at other women or pictures of other women when he has a wife on whom he can gaze daily. The wife should of course provide for the visual needs of her husband in erotic ways. And women should strive to keep their bodies as attractive as possible. A husband should become fully satisfied with his wife's body. No matter what the size or shape, if a man will let it happen, and ask God to help him, he can grow to truly find his wife's breasts to be the most attractive in the world. This is the true spirit of being captivated with your wife. Such a wife will feel sexy, attractive, and most of all, ladylike.
  7. "And that women may be dressed in simple clothing, with a quiet and serious air; not with vanity about her hair and gold or jewels or expensive clothing;"(1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your wife to be modest in public and erotic in private with you. A modest woman is a lady. There is much sin and temptation that results from women showing too much skin in public. Just think of the pleasure of knowing that no one sees too much of your wife's legs but you! You will be shocked at how this one maneuver will increase your feelings of masculinity and her feelings of femininity.
  8. "Do not be captivated by other women."(Proverbs 5:20) Finding other women attractive and looking at them will erode your own view of your wife. You will be less satisfied with her and she will feel less special to you. No man can build a habit of glances without subconsciously doing it in his wife's company. And she will notice. Remember to be captivated with your wife and no one else. She will feel like the Queen of the world and you will fall further in love with her.
  9. "Call your wife 'blessed' and praise her."(Proverbs 31:28-29) Tell her that she is special and is greater than any other woman on earth. Don't just mention her physical beauty, but her care for you, her hard work, and her ladylike attributes. Watch the flower of your wife blossom as you repeatedly fill her ears with your praises. She longs for those words and she wants to hear them from you! Of course you don't need pride, but that does not change the wife's need and longing to be treasured.
  10. "Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body."(Song of Solomon 4:7; 7:1-8) A true lover will make sure that his wife knows that he finds no flaw in her. God made your wife. God makes no mistakes. If you find a part of her body flawed, then it is your mind that needs to be changed. This does not let the wives off the hook to let their bodies go, but we all get old, and there is not much we can do about that! But it puts the responsibility upon the man to grow to love and express love for every part of his wife and also to respectfully and sensually tell her so. It will not help to criticize her or to be sarcastic. Think of how good she will feel when both you and she truly believe that you are enamored with every part of her!
  11. "Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way."(Hebrews 13:4) Jesus says that "lustful looks are adultery."(Matthew 5:28) This is similar to "because where your treasure is there will your heart be also..."(Luke 12:34) and vice versa. Do not treasure such lustfulness in any area of life, but deny it access to you heart. Keep your marriage pure by training your heart and eyes to be true to your wife. Your marriage will reap huge benefits if you do!
    • Thank the Lord for beauty and appreciate it but keep your eye, joy, mind and heart for the wife.
    • Don't try to hate temptation; just be a little irritated at it, smile and turn away.
  12. "Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God."(Proverbs 18:22) Just think of how lonely you would be without a wife. Adam was alone and it wasn't good for him to be alone, so God gave him a wife. You have a lifetime companion, a friend, and a lover to enjoy every day. What a blessing! Thank God and pray for her daily. She is a tremendous "prize" from God.
  13. "Be one flesh with your wife in every way."(Matthew 19:5) Enjoy life with her as if you were inseparable, but live your life thoughtfully. Long to be with her like you did when you first met. Rush home from work to her. Think about her during the day. Call her every day. Learn as a couple to agree: be like minded. Enjoy intimacy and sex often. You should have sex as often as is necessary to meet the desires of whichever spouse has the stronger sex drive, and as schedules and health permit. Spend time just talking and sharing the day's events. Show a genuine interest - listening intently - giving your full attention and eye contact. Your wife is more important than anything or anyone but Jesus Christ. Be as one with your wife.
Last edited by ebenezer; July 29,2009 at 3:42pm.
 
 
ebenezer is offline ebenezer Post #6  July 29,2009, 3:41pm

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Here are some quotes that I think come close to describing what I think the Bible means when it commands men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. In an atmosphere that is created by such love from a husband, it should be easy, or even just natural, for the wife to submit to the husband, or, should I venture to say, to want to submit to the husband.


  1. "Love your wife as Christ loved the Church."(Ephesians 5:25) Risk your life to help or save your wife. Christ's love for the church is without limits, nothing is held back. He gave His life for the church - before you loved Him. His love does not depend on your love for Him. Under God's authority - love your wife as service--as giving your life to God.
  2. "Love your wife in the same way you love your body and your life."(Ephesians 5:28-33) You care for your body daily to be as well fed and healthy as possible. You quickly take care of any needs or desires. Any sexual desire as a husband should be cared for with your wife. In the same way, care for your wife's needs and well being. Feel your wife's pain and illness and rejoice in her health as if it were your own life. A husband must see his wife's sexual desires and make supreme efforts to meet those needs too. Basically, her need or desire whether financial, physical, emotional or spiritual in your relationship must receive your full effort. Only in this way can you love her and provide for her just as well as you do for yourself.
  3. "Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect ..."(I Peter 3:7) The Bible says that if we neglect this command, our prayers will be hindered! To be considerate, quit any irritating habits! When she needs to be helped carrying heavy items, do it! If she needs time you can take care of the family! Help your wife with all of your energy, show your love to her with all consideration. Pray to see where you may be inconsiderate.
  4. "Do not be harsh with your wife."(Colossians 3:19) When a wife is sensitive realize that harsh answers, angry looks, irritated tones of voice and impatience will deeply affect your wife. Rejoice that she is a lady and isn't like you - remember that she is a precious gift God has given you.
  5. "The husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."(I Corinthians 7:3-5) Please your wife physically. Don't deprive her of what she needs. Your wife may not tell you that she would like to climax during times of intimacy. Assume that she would like to orgasm and work to please her. A wife might become more active in sex if her desires were being met! Sexual pleasure is something that is given, not forced or taken.
  6. "Rejoice in your wife all your life. Let her breasts satisfy you. Be captivated with her."(Proverbs 5:18-19) No man should look at other women or pictures of other women when he has a wife on whom he can gaze daily. The wife should of course provide for the visual needs of her husband in erotic ways. And women should strive to keep their bodies as attractive as possible. A husband should become fully satisfied with his wife's body. No matter what the size or shape, if a man will let it happen, and ask God to help him, he can grow to truly find his wife's breasts to be the most attractive in the world. This is the true spirit of being captivated with your wife. Such a wife will feel sexy, attractive, and most of all, ladylike.
  7. "And that women may be dressed in simple clothing, with a quiet and serious air; not with vanity about her hair and gold or jewels or expensive clothing;"(1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your wife to be modest in public and erotic in private with you. A modest woman is a lady. There is much sin and temptation that results from women showing too much skin in public. Just think of the pleasure of knowing that no one sees too much of your wife's legs but you! You will be shocked at how this one maneuver will increase your feelings of masculinity and her feelings of femininity.
  8. "Do not be captivated by other women."(Proverbs 5:20) Finding other women attractive and looking at them will erode your own view of your wife. You will be less satisfied with her and she will feel less special to you. No man can build a habit of glances without subconsciously doing it in his wife's company. And she will notice. Remember to be captivated with your wife and no one else. She will feel like the Queen of the world and you will fall further in love with her.
  9. "Call your wife 'blessed' and praise her."(Proverbs 31:28-29) Tell her that she is special and is greater than any other woman on earth. Don't just mention her physical beauty, but her care for you, her hard work, and her ladylike attributes. Watch the flower of your wife blossom as you repeatedly fill her ears with your praises. She longs for those words and she wants to hear them from you! Of course you don't need pride, but that does not change the wife's need and longing to be treasured.
  10. "Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body."(Song of Solomon 4:7; 7:1-8) A true lover will make sure that his wife knows that he finds no flaw in her. God made your wife. God makes no mistakes. If you find a part of her body flawed, then it is your mind that needs to be changed. This does not let the wives off the hook to let their bodies go, but we all get old, and there is not much we can do about that! But it puts the responsibility upon the man to grow to love and express love for every part of his wife and also to respectfully and sensually tell her so. It will not help to criticize her or to be sarcastic. Think of how good she will feel when both you and she truly believe that you are enamored with every part of her!
  11. "Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way."(Hebrews 13:4) Jesus says that "lustful looks are adultery."(Matthew 5:28) This is similar to "because where your treasure is there will your heart be also..."(Luke 12:34) and vice versa. Do not treasure such lustfulness in any area of life, but deny it access to you heart. Keep your marriage pure by training your heart and eyes to be true to your wife. Your marriage will reap huge benefits if you do!
    • Thank the Lord for beauty and appreciate it but keep your eye, joy, mind and heart for the wife.
    • Don't try to hate temptation; just be a little irritated at it, smile and turn away.
  12. "Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God."(Proverbs 18:22) Just think of how lonely you would be without a wife. Adam was alone and it wasn't good for him to be alone, so God gave him a wife. You have a lifetime companion, a friend, and a lover to enjoy every day. What a blessing! Thank God and pray for her daily. She is a tremendous "prize" from God.
  13. "Be one flesh with your wife in every way."(Matthew 19:5) Enjoy life with her as if you were inseparable, but live your life thoughtfully. Long to be with her like you did when you first met. Rush home from work to her. Think about her during the day. Call her every day. Learn as a couple to agree: be like minded. Enjoy intimacy and sex often. You should have sex as often as is necessary to meet the desires of whichever spouse has the stronger sex drive, and as schedules and health permit. Spend time just talking and sharing the day's events. Show a genuine interest - listening intently - giving your full attention and eye contact. Your wife is more important than anything or anyone but Jesus Christ. Be as one with your wife.
 
 
 


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