RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #1  November 24,2009, 10:40pm
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I admit to being attracted to a body type..tall, broad shoulders and not thin. And at my age, most of the men have gray or silver hair.

I've had some emails and phone calls for a couple of weeks from a man in my area who looks, in his pictures, a lot like my husband. Really a lot like him. Long grey hair and a fu-manchu moustacho with goatee..exactly the same. Same crinkly blue eyes, same slightly receding forehead with beautiful long hair. Also plays in bands, though hes a bass player not a drummer. We like many of the local bands - many of who were friends of my DH and I, several bands I repped for gigs etc for quite a while. We're bound to run into mutual friends who knew my husband and who will realize how much new guy looks like him.

I haven't met him face to face, but he 'gives good phone' and I am really a bit in WOW mode about how much he sounds like DH...well they were raised in the same city so the vocal intonations are the same.

I don't want to set myself up too much for disappointment and I know he isn't my DH clone but part of me thinks
"gee wouldn't that be wonderful!"

We have lots in common and as soon as I get over my cold, we are going to go out.

Any advice about how to handle this...On other dates, I have run into people who knew me when I was married and the reactions were varied and not predictable.

My DH hs been gone for almost 5 years (doesn't seem that long) and I've been dating for a bit over 2 years..off and on. I pretty much date whenever I want and am not looking for permanence or exclusiveness or marriage but for a partner to hang out with....many of the men I meet are on the same page..of course because that is what I 'advertise' for in my profile so thats what I attract.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  November 25,2009, 4:42pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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I think I understand where you're coming from.

My husband died a year ago. I am not dating yet. But for awhile, I was in communication with somebody here on eHA through Private Messages, and he had my husband's first name. I've got to tell you, it hurt to call him that. And I wasn't even interested in him, that way.

I've got a certain body type, too. Big and strong, with a full head of hair!

The only real advice I can offer is advice I would follow myself. Those first few dates, try to pick places where you can be sure not to run into people you knew with your husband. Especially if this man looks like him. You don't want anybody asking you questions later that you may not be prepared to answer.

Best to save the introductions for when you're sure he's going to be in your life for any length of time. If something real develops between you, it will give you strength to deal with any possible raised eyebrows.

That's my best advice. I hope it helps. I enjoy your posts, and I feel for you, as I'm sure you do for me.

j8a
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #3  November 26,2009, 12:05am
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Thanks for your ideas, j8a.

I think those are excellent suggestions and even though we have talked a lot about the groups we both know it's not really necessary to go see them together right away...they have been playing CSNY and Beatles and Eagles cover music since CSNY, the Beatles and the Eagles first sang the songs..and that isn't going to stop any time soon (VBG).

Lots of other things to do.

And don't rush to take off the rings--when the moment is right you'll know. I took them off then wore my rings and my husbands on his gold chain around my neck for another 2 years. Now that gold is $1100 an OZ though, DH's heavy rings are looking pretty valuable as part of my trip to France!
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  November 27,2009, 4:40pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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RoxyRedhead wrote :
And don't rush to take off the rings--when the moment is right you'll know. I took them off then wore my rings and my husbands on his gold chain around my neck for another 2 years. Now that gold is $1100 an OZ though, DH's heavy rings are looking pretty valuable as part of my trip to France!
You just about made my day! Thank You for that!

From what I've seen of your posts, I'm sure DH (or any other man you were with) would say.....You go, girl! Any way you can get there.

j8a
 
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