maypoet is offline maypoet Post #11  December 17,2009, 3:31pm
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enjoying freedom before the Fall

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August2 wrote :
However I might twist it, I'm really glad you do laugh.
People do fear their own mortality, but you know, many also fear day to day life - it's very, very common. In fact, our societies are rift with ignorance and avoidance, not to mention long gauntlets of "must have's" before most will even imagine creating a pleasant time.

Do you have responsibilities? yes.
Have you had depth of experience? yes
Is this useful at a young age? well, I don't mean to offend at such a profound searing and ultimate loss of ignorance, but is intelligent self-awareness useful? - yes.
Will interesting, provocative men find a responsible, experienced, intelligent woman attractive? (laughter) - oh yes. Will you also have to stand on your own? yes to that too.

Take it from an old broad who has been there.
Choose life: take care of that kid, and from time to time
get a sitter, go out - bring your patience, build some joy.
Good luck to you
It has been about six months since I first posted...and it is amazing sometimes how much happens when you decide to proactively build your own life and your own happiness without expecting or asking anyone for approval... In fact, this "old broad," as she calls herself has it all right. Is it hard being a widow? Of course, but no harder than any other trait or experience, not really. What is hard is building the attitude, the way you decide to approach and live life. I just wanted to encourage anyone struggling or questioning what they should do to read this woman's post. Only after I began to learn such things for myself (and I am of course still learning them) was I able to find people worth talking to and establishing relationships with. But life is a much more beautiful and amazing thing when you accept that stuff happens, you deal with it, and you find ways to make your own fun (and be tolerant to a degree with those who shudder when you laugh).

Thanks!
 
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bossyfred is offline bossyfred Post #12  January 4,2010, 1:19pm
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I'm a young widow as well. I was 26 yrs old with a 4 1/2 year old daughter and preganent with our second daughter when my husband died in a work accident. It has been 6 1/2 years since his death and I have not been out on 1 single date. I have lots of male friends and they have told me that most men find it hard to date a woman who's husband has died because they feel like they are in competion with the dead husband. I have looked for books and sites that death with being a widow at young age and came up with nothing. Hopefully this group will help. I'm so ready to start dating and I want to share my life with some. I hope knowing that you are not the only young widow out there helps you a little.
 
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loonycanadian is offline loonycanadian Post #13  January 4,2010, 10:02pm
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is thinking of buying a house...

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I don't know which is more difficult, being a young widow with only a few years of commitment under your belt, or being a widow after 30 years or more of marriage. Although I do not have the problems of having young children at home, I have the problems of opinionated 30+ year old children. I also have the handicap of having never lived alone. I think that is the hardest part.
 
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cati139 is offline cati139 Post #14  January 8,2010, 7:13pm
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Just wanted to add that your not alone! I lost my husband suddenly back in Dec '08 while I was 7 1/2 months prego w/ our son (we also have a 6 yr old daughter).
I am a little over 10 years older than you but still young. It is tough to not only have to cope with your own loss but also your daughter's. In a positive way, she's too young to really grasp anything yet (which is a huge blessing).... My daughter started emotionally breaking down 8 months after daddy's passing and is just now starting to accept the fact that he's not coming back. Her biggest hurdle right now if the fear of being alone (at any point in time).
Just keep getting up each day, decide what your going to do for the day and do it (for you and for her).
KOKO
(keep on keeping on!)
 
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