Young, and I mean young, widow

However I might twist it, I'm really glad you do laugh.
People do fear their own mortality, but you know, many also fear day to day life - it's very, very common. In fact, our societies are rift with ignorance and avoidance, not to mention long gauntlets of "must have's" before most will even imagine creating a pleasant time.

Do you have responsibilities? yes.
Have you had depth of experience? yes
Is this useful at a young age? well, I don't mean to offend at such a profound searing and ultimate loss of ignorance, but is intelligent self-awareness useful? - yes.
Will interesting, provocative men find a responsible, experienced, intelligent woman attractive? (laughter) - oh yes. Will you also have to stand on your own? yes to that too.

Take it from an old broad who has been there.
Choose life: take care of that kid, and from time to time
get a sitter, go out - bring your patience, build some joy.
Good luck to you