Robecology is offline Robecology Post #1  June 23,2009, 4:40pm

Cameron and me at Las Vegas 7/10 (in the WAX museum!)

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2008

South Florida

Posts: 341

See profile

I have a unique idea that needs feedback. I met my recent lady friend about 3 years ago. I was relatively much more in to fitness than apparently she was; but she promised she would pick up the slack. She said she was x pounds on the website, but she turned out to be x +10 When we met. I said maybe this won't work, she said let me try.

She was with it for a while, got close to that healthy weight, but then fell off the wagon; Hey; I know it's not easy; I parallel it to drug /alcohol addiction because I know before we could talk and walk we had our eating habits set for us, but I was hoping against hope that she could do it. Now she's x + 40.

So here's the unique idea that needs your feedback.

It's a bet.

For every pound she loses, I offered her $x amount, with the amount going up every 10 pounds she got closer to her goal. The amount offered if she gets to a healthy BMI (google it) was close to $3k. And I challenged her to make it a bet; ie; if she gains weight, she owes me $$ back.

I look at it as a serious, last ditch offer to reward her for getting where she promised to be on day one. She takes it as an insult. Was I wrong for making the offer? Am I trying to change her too much? Does she love food more than me? Should I say goodbye/goodluck and start over? Or should I just be patient?

Thanks, Robecology
 
  Reply With Quote
grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #2  July 15,2009, 4:21am
grammar_gal's Avatar

I actually enjoy being single.

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2009

Metro Atlanta

Posts: 240

See profile

Robe... one of my die-hard rules is to never enter into a relationship with anyone wishing to change anything about that person... whether it is weight, smoking, drinking, drugs, religion, politics... even fashion. Whatever you want to change is a part of the individual's personality - even if the habit is kicked or the weight is lost.

Good luck to you..
 
  Reply With Quote
Robecology is offline Robecology Post #3  July 15,2009, 4:41pm

Cameron and me at Las Vegas 7/10 (in the WAX museum!)

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2008

South Florida

Posts: 341

See profile

You are right. I guess I procrastinated, hoped against all odds that the promise she made day one - that she would lose the weight - would happen. She was with it for a while; then fell off the wagon. At first I tried promising a wardrobe when she reached her "goal", then I offered a "pay as you go" thing; the bet. I "lost" about $100 (she lost 4 pounds) but then things leveled off.
It's been a while since we've talked, so I'm on the way to independence and being out of the relationship. I don't call her, she calls me, and I feel terrible about not answering...guess I gotta learn to cut things off. Hopefully she'll be better off without me, and once I resume my search, I'll narrow my needs and learn to say no if we're not on the same page.
 
  Reply With Quote
grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #4  July 18,2009, 5:58am
grammar_gal's Avatar

I actually enjoy being single.

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2009

Metro Atlanta

Posts: 240

See profile

I never will understand why women call in the first place... but if she is so daft as to realize that you would be calling her if you were still interested... you need to let her know so she can move on.
 
  Reply With Quote
Caspah is offline Caspah Post #5  March 6,2010, 6:17am
Caspah's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 3

See profile

10-4 on that one! Robe, you need to let that ship sail. Owwww....yeah, makes me shudder even thinking bout it...sheesh...just let her move on....
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
My experience with EH and weight ellie82smiles Using eHarmony 97 August 2,2010 7:35pm
Weight Training JDavid Fitness 8 September 10,2009 12:20pm
Over Weight American_Girl Dating 157 July 19,2009 5:30pm
Requesting feedback on my eH profile mbmedic Using eHarmony 10 July 5,2009 5:05pm
So you think (S)he needs to lose weight? Wanna bet? Robecology Ask a Dating Expert 107 June 25,2009 7:51am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Excellent, thank you. I think I will leave out the first part, I think it is unnecessary information to give him. I'm not interested in putting myself out there like that and it might be a little ... ” –  generallyyou

Join the “Ending a friendship” discussion

“Alfred Hitchcock - 18 Steven Spielberg - 62 *notice what?” –  dmi

Join the “War of the Directors” discussion

“ I would be "certain people" :P The issue isn't a deal-breaker, but a very strong factor preference-wise, for me.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“Love Texas Hold'em!.. I'm thinking of trying another tournament this summer...not sure yet though.. Never entered a tournament before, outside of online ones. Personally I prefer to play with ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Favorite Card Game” discussion

“Make that 3! I also had a crush on Donny Osmond. I think I still have a record or two of his. Suzie ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“Oh, my revised profile can be seen in the forum in the section where you can ask for a profile review. Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“Just remember, everything that you are feeling and/or are capable of he is as well. If he wanted to reach you, he could. Right now he knows that you are hurting, and that this is not what you ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“ Yohio. And the shortened form (Anya) is nice too.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:50am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0