"she's just not that into you [Christians]" Chapter 1


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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #1  April 28,2009, 2:44pm
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Dear Christian who has written (yet again) to express interest in me:

The reasons we will not work as a romantic couple are too countless to enumerate… but, for starters - I am an independent freethinker, and an activist in the atheist movement in America. So... we might not jive in the areas of faith, religion, or spirituality -which is a cop-out catch phrase for people who are afraid to admit they do not really believe in god and are probably some of the same people who secretly voted for Obama.

Yes, I realize it is difficult to turn from left to right without rubbing elbows with someone who believes in the master puppeteer... so it does make the single male pickings awfully slim here in the good old bible-belt ------ but a girl has got to have some hopes.

Thank you again for your interest... and one final thought - it is the fact that I am as I describe myself that makes me and my written representation of myself - interesting; lest you should think I would benefit from prayer.

GG





Dear Christian who has written to tell me that you think I am the total package – to put that in ‘90’s vernacular – “all that and a bag of chips”:

I know I should be flattered; however.... I rebel against such characterizations as "total package"... I am sure if you look deeply enough... something that is vital to you will come up missing or short.

Before you think - wow, what a negative response - remember you complimented my intellect. So, please do not be surprised by an intelligent response.

I did notice one thing about your profile... religion. I am not religious... and there again, it is my intelligence that defies any belief in the supernatural - i.e. a god... or an afterlife. You mention spirituality being a part of "core values"... Define spirituality for me.

My definition is simply thus... a healthy cognitive and emotional balance. Boom. Religion does not allow for either of those... we might argue this point... but it will not do any good... I hold fast... with research and history to back me up.

Yes... I lay it pretty much out. I do not waste time. This is my line in the sand... so far... no one has been able to make it across. I take that back... a professor and ordained minister did once... he enjoyed talking theology with me.... until he found that through intelligent discourse, his own faith was shaken. I let him go... for his own sake. Hopefully... he has continued to seek truth.

Perhaps now you are thinking... oh she is total all right... totally insane. Of course you do... when you look at the world through the distorted view of the religious… how could I seem anything else?

GG




Dear Christian who has responded to my “thanks, but no thanks” telling me you are “open-minded” and that you can accept that I am a freethinker:


You state in your dating profile that it is very important that a woman “shares your beliefs and values.” Had such strong statements not been made in the very first representation to which I was exposed of you... perhaps we would have found our communications going a great deal differently. I somehow doubt it... but I will concede the possibility.

You know nothing of what freethinking is about... nor being an atheist. That is the reason I asked you to read Dr. Dawkins and Sam Harris. You perhaps do not understand that I have a child to shield from such foolish notions as heaven and hell, virgin births, and chosen people... to name a few idiocies of religious dogma. This is difficult for you... because you have been brought up to believe these delusions true.

I tried to tell you in the beginning of our conversations... you would not listen. You keep talking about my spiritual beliefs... and how you accept them. How so? For I have no spiritual beliefs. I am grounded in reality... not the hopes of some world to come if I live my life right... or play my cards right, as the case may be. For who will make it to this spiritual after-world? Those who believe in Allah and follow the law of Islam? or those who wait for Jesus to come down from the clouds - either literally or metaphorically - or will it be those who yet await their Messiah... but serve the "One True God"... Yahweh - a murdering, jealous god... who is the one Christians claim to be the father of their Christ.

No sir... you know nothing about freethinkers... if you did you would understand how my mind and minds like mine have far surpassed fairy tales and mythology.

Please let this go... you say your beliefs are but a part of you... again, I say read your profile.

I have been in this position more than once - I know where it leads. I won't be led there again.



GG




Dear Christian who writes to ask me what proof I have of evolution:

I believe in evolution because I have experienced it…

I have lived in Ga. for about 6 years now... prior to that I lived in Florida. I was born in the Bible-Belt... and I would have to say my becoming an atheist happened as naturally as evolution itself. I believe it is the stymieing of this natural process that is so very damaging to the mental health of many today. In more simplistic terms... it was a painful and simple as the realization there wasn't a Santa Clause or a boogey man... painful that I had been lied to... relieved that I no longer had to worry about these mythical creatures watching my every move to take some sort of vindictive action out on me.

I shake my head in amazement as you Christians continue your knuckle-dragging beliefs into the first full decade of the 21st Century.

GG
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  April 29,2009, 9:22am
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GG,


I understand (and agree with) a lot of what you are saying.


However, I am unsure as to the point you are trying to make. Is this the long reason that you immediate close some matches?


You (as I) probably have yourself listed as "neither spiritual nor religious". You (as I) probably mark to accept matches from some combination of "non-religious, maybe spiritual, maybe other". If you are matched with someone that has themselves marked as Christian (et al), it means that you were fuzzy matched because the other person was open to Non-religious. Do you automatically close this person? (Yes, if every other word in the profile is god or jesus I would close it too, but what if it's not?)


Do you give these fuzzy matches the benefit of the doubt? I wonder (and have thought about posting in the using EH section) about how many people list themselves as some version of christian, when if they really analyzed it they would admit that they are atheists or agnostics.
 
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BenThruItAll is offline BenThruItAll Post #3  April 29,2009, 5:09pm
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Thanks for saying this so eloquently! Another turn-off of mine is when a man lists in his three things that he is grateful for: God's love and wisdom. This concept is totally unfathomable to me! How could I possibly have anything in common with someone that believes that some unknown entity has a capability of love and wisdom?
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #4  April 30,2009, 12:58am
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DDjr,598087 wrote :

GG,


I understand (and agree with) a lot of what you are saying.


However, I am unsure as to the point you are trying to make. Is this the long reason that you immediate close some matches?


You (as I) probably have yourself listed as "neither spiritual nor religious". You (as I) probably mark to accept matches from some combination of "non-religious, maybe spiritual, maybe other". If you are matched with someone that has themselves marked as Christian (et al), it means that you were fuzzy matched because the other person was open to Non-religious. Do you automatically close this person? (Yes, if every other word in the profile is god or jesus I would close it too, but what if it's not?)


Do you give these fuzzy matches the benefit of the doubt? I wonder (and have thought about posting in the using EH section) about how many people list themselves as some version of christian, when if they really analyzed it they would admit that they are atheists or agnostics.
In all honesty... I wince when I see I get a match who states he is Christian... but I will try to feel him out - I bring it up in guided and see what happens. Many persons who call themselves Christians - do not buy into the whole line of crap... they just like being accepted by society. It is rather like being gay and pretending to be straight.


If a a match talks about God and Jesus - at all in the profile... that is a turn off and I generally do not open communication.

Read more: "Romance and the Freethinker - "she's just not that into you [Christians]" Chapter 1 Discussion Boards - eHarmony Advice" - http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=view_thread&TID=31776&start=0#ixzz0E9JQaMGq&A
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #5  April 30,2009, 1:01am
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DDjr,598087 wrote :


GG,


I understand (and agree with) a lot of what you are saying.


However, I am unsure as to the point you are trying to make. Is this the long reason that you immediate close some matches?


You (as I) probably have yourself listed as "neither spiritual nor religious". You (as I) probably mark to accept matches from some combination of "non-religious, maybe spiritual, maybe other". If you are matched with someone that has themselves marked as Christian (et al), it means that you were fuzzy matched because the other person was open to Non-religious. Do you automatically close this person? (Yes, if every other word in the profile is god or jesus I would close it too, but what if it's not?)


Do you give these fuzzy matches the benefit of the doubt? I wonder (and have thought about posting in the using EH section) about how many people list themselves as some version of christian, when if they really analyzed it they would admit that they are atheists or agnostics.


DD.





I have replied to this three times as my original post was up for review. I am not sure what was in it that caught the attention of the censors - I think it was my analogy comparing atheists to a certain other group of people who have struggled to "come out of the closet". I will see if this one takes. My other posts have made it....


P.S. Yep that was what it was... this one made it because I did not use a certain three letter word beginning with g.
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #6  April 30,2009, 1:07am
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DDjr,598087 wrote :

GG,


I understand (and agree with) a lot of what you are saying.


However, I am unsure as to the point you are trying to make. Is this the long reason that you immediate close some matches?


You (as I) probably have yourself listed as "neither spiritual nor religious". You (as I) probably mark to accept matches from some combination of "non-religious, maybe spiritual, maybe other". If you are matched with someone that has themselves marked as Christian (et al), it means that you were fuzzy matched because the other person was open to Non-religious. Do you automatically close this person? (Yes, if every other word in the profile is god or jesus I would close it too, but what if it's not?)


Do you give these fuzzy matches the benefit of the doubt? I wonder (and have thought about posting in the using EH section) about how many people list themselves as some version of christian, when if they really analyzed it they would admit that they are atheists or agnostics.
My original reply edited to see if it goes... what a load of (one of the words I deleted).


In all honesty... I wince when I see I get a match who states he is Christian... but I will try to feel him out - I bring it up in guided and see what happens. Many persons who call themselves Christians - do not buy into the whole line of nonesense (replaced c word here)... they just like being accepted by society. It is rather like being (insert g word here) and pretending to be straight.


If a a match talks about God and Jesus - at all in the profile... that is a turn off and I generally do not open communication.
 
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shoelace is offline shoelace Post #7  May 4,2009, 5:54pm
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Precisely. Speaking of these things rightaway implies a bit too much obsession and unresolved issues of living. When I was still on eH almost every member who closed melisted herself as Christian. Theonly exceptions were, I surmised, based on level of education.
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #8  May 5,2009, 12:38am
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shoelace,605369 wrote :


Precisely. Speaking of these things rightaway implies a bit too much obsession and unresolved issues of living. When I was still on eH almost every member who closed melisted herself as Christian. Theonly exceptions were, I surmised, based on level of education.


You know... I rarely have Christians reject me... instead they start back peddling on their "god-speak" telling me that if two people love one another religion should not matter- translated , "I really think you are hot... and who gives a rat's behind about God when little Jesus is not getting his needs met!"


Does that make me a Jezebel?
 
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shoelace is offline shoelace Post #9  May 5,2009, 6:01am
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That's funny. But maybe there's another reason, Jez. Maybe when someone like that comes across someone like you, someone who knows better, knows more, thinks more clearly, they downplay what they secretly know sounds (and is) silly. Unjustified belief makes them uncomfortable, and it is this discomfort thatsuggests they don't really believe what they say they believe but are afraid to openly admit it.


But, still, that's funny. It's like they're playing all their cards to cover all the bases. If a good Christian girl comes up, they're already set for that (as they state in their profile);but when Jez shows up, well, all that nonsense goes out the door. Little Jesus has spoken.
 
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timeless2 is offline timeless2 Post #10  May 9,2009, 7:07pm
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Is not being an atheist just another belief?
 
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