finance30 is offline finance30 Post #1  December 2,2009, 11:13am
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Hello, I am new to the group. I stumbled across this group when googling questions on EHarmony & there seem to be interesting topics from an African American perspective. I have been on & off EHarmony for about a year. During that time, I have met and dated some wonderful ladies, but not found "the one." I only recently jumped back on the site after taking time to exclusively meet people the old fashioned way (offline).

I am wondering about the # of (quality) African American matches that Black women ordinarily receive daily/weekly. I have my matches exclusively filtered to Black Women as I do not date interracially. When doing a (national search), I ordinarily get 7 matches per day (2 no photos, 2 incomplete/minimal words in profile, 1-2 I am not necessarily attracted to). Thus, that (potentially) leaves me with maybe 1 or 2 good matches a day (in the United States). I always close profiles w/o photos to avoid awkward situations down the road. My other filters may be characterized as a bit tight, (25-33 age, no children, at least a Bachelor's Degree, only drink a few times a yr at most, fit, attractive, etc.) However, I bring all those same things to the table, so not willing to settle.

I initially got a ton of (local Ohio) matches my first week back to the site, and then they dried up completely. Initially, 50% of the matches for women in Ohio had no photos, thus I closed, and many of the others were not compatible. Now if I confine to Ohio, I get maybe 1 match per 2-3 days, as they have again dried up. In the past, the women I have met in person via EHarmony and dated have all been out of state. I have met Dr's, Lawyers, Professors, etc. so the pool has been great. I also have a very good career, home, attractive, fit, no kids, thus they are certainly not (dating down) (laughter). However, it takes weeks to get to viable/ideal matches to pursue, or so it seems. Ideally, I would like to have a match at least in the same region of the country, as that's partly why the other ladies I met did not work out.

So my question again for the ladies is how many (quality) African American matches do women receive on this site (not concerned about the other ethnic matches you get (laughter). Are they ordinarily hundreds of miles away? across country?

By the way, wanted to compliment the group owner of "Black Love," as she has a beautiful photo. I may need to reset my filter to PA :-) Just a compliment, no disrespect.....

Thanks for any feedback the ladies can convey.....
 
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Golden1 is offline Golden1 Post #2  December 3,2009, 7:17pm
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Hi Finance30,

I receive alot of matches that I close immediately too. I have distance confined to 3 states, although I strongly prefer the match to be in the same state as I am. I have a filter for 5'10" and above, but I get alot of 5'9"s and below. Also, I too see alot of sparse profiles or flagrant misspelled words (did I misspell any now? :-)). In terms of pictures, I have mine set to "I'll show you my picture if you show me yours". If I am not paid up at the moment that a potential mate is matched to me, then they can't see my picture anyway (EHarmony rules).
So, long story short, not many "real" matches.

Hang in there.
 
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LadyH is offline LadyH Post #3  December 4,2009, 3:49pm
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Hi Finance, I have not received many African-American matches, so I widened my search to Canada and the US. That honestly did not help much. The few matches I receive, (about 1 a month) either have incomplete profiles or do not respond to requests to communicate.

As far as pictures, like Golden, mine is available upon request.

Good luck to you,
Lady H
 
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VaTreasure is offline VaTreasure Post #4  December 5,2009, 7:25pm
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You may need to loosen your criteria a bit. I totally understand what you want someone who is in your league, but if you are rigid in how you view this you may miss someone great. I have a friend who just about fits your criteria but she would come up short with the degree. She is smart and has a great job but she didn't finish college the first go round and is now back in school. She's about 2/3 of the way done and will graduate with honors from a prestigious school if she stays on track. Anyway the point is because one of your criteria is bachelor's degree she wouldn't show up on your radar. You might want to see what you get if you loosen up the criteria, you can always change it back if it doesn't work out.
 
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finance30 is offline finance30 Post #5  December 6,2009, 6:22pm
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Thank you ladies for the response. I think going forward experimenting with my criteria may in fact open avenues to those under the radar. I guess currently having the filter set to top (level 7) on education, I could be missing out on a lady whom is continuing her education. Also, by setting preferred salary range criteria to my own level, I am again potentially missing out on a great lady.

Thanks again.......
 
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sula0020 is offline sula0020 Post #6  December 7,2009, 2:08pm
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I live in California, and my initial criteria just included being matched with an African-American male, Bachelor's degree and above, with no children in the whole state of California....and that led nowhere...so I openened it up to the US. Still not a very wide selection. I decided to open up to other races, but I was still having trouble finding connections. I've been on and off Eharmony for the last year, and right now I'm off, but maybe Spring will yield better results.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #7  December 7,2009, 4:41pm
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My criteria is similar to Finance and Sula (and I fit all of the criteria as well, except for drinking only a few times a year. I enjoy a good happy hour :-)). I understand what people say about opening up their parameters, but I think that once a person has their deal-breakers in place they should stick to them.

Truly reconsidering a dealbreaker is one thing, but just opening up your criteria wider and wider in order to get more matches can still yield minimal results. And then you won't even have gotten what you really wanted, so what's the point of that? :-/
 
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leigha98 is offline leigha98 Post #8  December 8,2009, 10:59am
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Have you considered being more open to your criteria? Is it an absoloute must that your searches meet all criteria? I understand that people are on a search for their "ideal" but you may unintentionally close off a possibility by not being more open to a "what if". Just a thought.....
 
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Golden1 is offline Golden1 Post #9  December 8,2009, 12:22pm
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FairOne wrote :
My criteria is similar to Finance and Sula (and I fit all of the criteria as well, except for drinking only a few times a year. I enjoy a good happy hour :-)). I understand what people say about opening up their parameters, but I think that once a person has their deal-breakers in place they should stick to them.

Truly reconsidering a dealbreaker is one thing, but just opening up your criteria wider and wider in order to get more matches can still yield minimal results. And then you won't even have gotten what you really wanted, so what's the point of that? :-/

Good point. You may want to experiment with those things that are "nice haves", but stay firm with your dealbreakers. That's the point of eharmony, right?
 
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