Old Fashioned Romance & Courtship

Is it dead? Do we know the definition of "woo" today?


I recently talked to a gentleman who wanted my attention in a "relationship: and I told him even if I was interested in such a relationship, I'd still have to be wooed by him.


He asked me what "woo" meant. Do you think he was serious?


I gave him a definition. He still wanted to trybut unfortunately, I got bored with him because he was either not "really"trying or was totally inept at it. He's 40-something and I do believe any gentleman in his 40's ought to know what old-fashioned romance is.


Am I in la-la land or what?

What exactly does an act of wooing look like? What is the right way to woo, and what is the wrong way to woo? Do women ever woo men, or do they just get wooed?

No, I don't think you are in la-la land. I am 35 years old and still waiting for a man to at least attempt to woo me. I went out with a man last month. We were both the same age and he seemed to have himself together. A hard worker who volunteers with the blind, is building his own house to sell. He didn't drink or smoke and like to travel. However, he picked me up at my place, waited in the car and never came to the door. Didn't open my car door or pull out my chair at the restauraunt! I guess you know there was no second date. My friends keep telling me I am asking for too much of black men here in Rochester, NY. They said I would have to go down south for even a piece of that kind of treatment. Why do I have to move out of state to get treated like a lady?

I can only speak for myself ANDR3W, but once I am in an actual committed relationship with someone, I have never had a problem wooing a man. Unfortunately, I once ended up with someone who didn't appreciate it and was too lazy to reciprocate. That of course will never stop me from doing so again, should I find someone new. I actually gave Valantines day to that person. He never did anything for me that day and I didn't complain. I enjoyed creating that moment for him, it made me feel good. Now that I know more about dating in general, I have no problem expecting to be wooed by my suiter. If he cannot do at least that much, I'll give him about 3 months to figure it out and move on if he doesn't. I don't think we should have to tell men point by point how to woo. Pulling out chairs and opening doors is always a good start. But letting us know they are thinkning of us in their own personal way can go pretty far.

Hello, Stormkat!


The reason men don't come tothe door, open doors for ladies, pull out their chairs, etc. is because so many women they've met don't require it of them. If a man comes to my house to pick me up and he honks the horn, I don't come to the door. A whole lot of women go right outside. If I get to a door before the man does, I wait for him to open it. A whole lot of women walk up to the door and swing it on open. I wait for a man to pull my chair. You know what a lot of women do.


Your friend who is telling you that you are asking too much of Black men has resigned to selling herself short because she hasn't required enough of men herself, AND she's selling a whole lot of decent brothers out there short who would love to treat a woman this way, but they encounter so many women who don't know how to accept this kind of treatment from a man.


Then there are the women who get all silly just because a man opens a door and pulls out a chair. That's just as bad. That's how he's SUPPOSED to treat you!!! That's nothing special honey, that's NORMAL !! It's like giving someone amedal for paying their rent!


But I digress...

Should men and women be equal partners in a relationship, or should men and women occupy different roles based on gender?