Why is it so hard to find a good christian gentleman?


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Communicator is offline Communicator Post #1  March 20,2009, 6:28pm
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Ok so where it would be that the wonderful men are hiding?


... Any nice single christian men around the toledo area?
 
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JasonX43 is offline JasonX43 Post #2  March 20,2009, 10:30pm
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You're having such a hard time because we've never been formally introduced! But... I'm in Tennessee!
 
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holyghostgirl is offline holyghostgirl Post #3  March 25,2009, 5:09am
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Not sure where they've gotten to, but they haven't moved to Long Island.
 
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JasonX43 is offline JasonX43 Post #4  March 27,2009, 12:18am
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holyghostgirl,547894 wrote :

Not sure where they've gotten to, but they haven't moved to Long Island.
Sorry... Mint Oreo?
 
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Just_A_Thought is offline Just_A_Thought Post #5  March 29,2009, 12:51pm
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I have met several nice Christian men, but they haven't been my type. The ones I've met online have been in TX, NY, GA, FL -- they're out there. It's just whether or not they are your type or not, I think.
 
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holyghostgirl is offline holyghostgirl Post #6  March 30,2009, 6:05am
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JasonX43,550670 wrote :

holyghostgirl,547894 wrote :


Not sure where they've gotten to, but they haven't moved to Long Island.


Sorry... Mint Oreo?
You're not going to have a weding cake are you? No, just a pile of mint Oreos!
 
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JasonX43 is offline JasonX43 Post #7  March 30,2009, 7:01am
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holyghostgirl,555100 wrote :

JasonX43,550670 wrote :


holyghostgirl,547894 wrote :


Not sure where they've gotten to, but they haven't moved to Long Island.


Sorry... Mint Oreo?


You're not going to have a weding cake are you? No, just a pile of mint Oreos!
Hmmm... what about a mint Oreo wedding cake? Since I stand by having no alchol served at the reception we'll have a healthy supply of Simply Lemonade, Simply Limeade, and Jungle Juice! That is, unless I can convice the Pepsi Corp. to start back making Pepsi Blue especially for me! It was like liquid cotton candy!
 
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DrBrowne is offline DrBrowne Post #8  September 17,2009, 7:32pm
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Wonderful question. I dont know where they are...but I am guessing they may not have discovered Eharmony yet? I dont know, but a good christian man that appreciates a woman who hasnt been around, and still going around. I mean, there are quite a few Ruth's in america....but has Boaz moved to another country or what?
 
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unique_soul is offline unique_soul Post #9  November 16,2009, 7:01am
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Communicator wrote :
Ok so where it would be that the wonderful men are hiding?


... Any nice single christian men around the toledo area?
A lot things matter. How much personal effort do you put into finding the "nice single christian man"? Where do you look? What do you base him being "nice" and "christian" off of? If he is nice and christian, does he have to also be a certain height, be a certain shade, and make a certain amount of money for your comfortabilty?

Two things I usually pick up on when I hear women (especially black women) ask this question is either that:

1. They pray and expect God to magically drop the man of their dreams into their arms. Being the exception to everything else in life where you must purse and position yourself for a blessing. A common excuse for not wanting to do this is using the Bible verse "When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing" and in the same process ignorning that plenty of Bible verses reference men when indeed speaking to everyone and ignoring the whole concept of "God not moving until we've displayed our faith in making moves towards our goals".

2. Saying they want a "nice, single, Christian man" but have a TON of other superficial standards that he has to have (i.e. has to be at least 6'0, light skin, good hair, and make at least $70K) or when she gets him, cheats on him/treats him like dirt because she can't handle a "nice, single, Christian man".

I'm not suggesting you fit into this category at all but its just the basis of why I asked all the questions I asked in the beginning of my response.
Last edited by unique_soul; November 16,2009 at 7:05am.
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #10  November 17,2009, 5:50pm
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Unique, I always tell people who expect me to accept any old man who is nice and a Christian that I have a right to be with someone I'm physically attracted to, just like he does. If he's not physically attracted to me, no matter how good a Christian woman I am, then I don't expect or even want him to bother with me. I'll always know that I wasn't his first choice, what he really wanted. I'll always know that, while he may think I'm "nice" and a "good Christian woman," in the physical attraction department, I was the consolation prize. Who the heck wants that? I will not be Leah.

Now, you're right, some women do have crazy unreasonable expectations of men. Unless a lady is 6 feet tall, I don't get the height thing. But some aren't unresonable at all. I work so the man has to as well - that's not too much to ask. And that a man who professes to be a Christian actually goes to church isn't too much to ask either, but I've gotten a lot of so-called "good" men all angry at me for preferring a sincere church-going man. "Spiritual but not religious" is some cop-out, homemade hogwash that just means you're not really a Christian and you don't, and won't, go to church. That you dress age-appropriately and be attractive to me (not what anyone else consideres attractive, but I've got to think you're handsome) are the same kinds of things men want, so why can't I?

The bottom line for me is, everyone has a right to like what they like, regardless of what anyone else says about it. I'm always amazed, though, at the men who say the same thing you did, but they're the same guys who won't give the very dark skinned, short haired, overweight young lady in the choir a second look. It's all about preferences.

If men can have their standards - and Christian men have the same kinds of standards mostly that non-Christian men do because all of you have eyes - then so can we, and I think I've grown more than a little tired of people treating women - especially older, sngle Christian women - as if we have no right to ours.
 
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