Can we find our soul mate on the internet


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
jesus_said_iam is offline jesus_said_iam Post #1  October 9,2009, 5:28am
jesus_said_ia…'s Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: May 2008

Marion Iowa

Posts: 19

See profile

Is it safe to find a mate over the internet is my question? Or maybe in some ways i know the answer. Five years ago in a yahoo christian group, i meet someone or shall i say she email me. We chatted on the messenger for awhile. She told me she was this certian person, of good morals, and loving God.We did talk over the phone, and again telling what a good person she was. I had no reason to deceive anyone about who i was. Not saying i am perfect.
She lived in a different state than me and i did go drive out to meet her with my daughter. I was a single dad and still am.
A couple month after meeting she wanted to get married, and i had many tell me it was wrong. I thought i was listening to God and they were not. We got married and low and behold i found out what she told me was mostly lies. She had Bipolar and moved around alot from state to state. She met alot of men over the internet. And would always take off. She would argue for days with me ,to let me know she was right and i was wrong. After 4 yrs of her leaving nine times, on the tenth time of leaving i got divorce. Now if someone chats with me i trace their emails to see were it came from. I may do a people search on them. It is hard to trust people on the internet. But i also want others to see if i am who i say iam.
 
  Reply With Quote
Cloud_Strife is offline Cloud_Strife Post #2  October 9,2009, 6:52am

sweeps the streets he used to own

Unregistered

Joined: Sep 2009

Ohio

Posts: 292

See profile

jesus_said_iam wrote :
Is it safe to find a mate over the internet is my question? Or maybe in some ways i know the answer. Five years ago in a yahoo christian group, i meet someone or shall i say she email me. We chatted on the messenger for awhile. She told me she was this certian person, of good morals, and loving God.We did talk over the phone, and again telling what a good person she was. I had no reason to deceive anyone about who i was. Not saying i am perfect.
She lived in a different state than me and i did go drive out to meet her with my daughter. I was a single dad and still am.
A couple month after meeting she wanted to get married, and i had many tell me it was wrong. I thought i was listening to God and they were not. We got married and low and behold i found out what she told me was mostly lies. She had Bipolar and moved around alot from state to state. She met alot of men over the internet. And would always take off. She would argue for days with me ,to let me know she was right and i was wrong. After 4 yrs of her leaving nine times, on the tenth time of leaving i got divorce. Now if someone chats with me i trace their emails to see were it came from. I may do a people search on them. It is hard to trust people on the internet. But i also want others to see if i am who i say iam.
Well, that does sound like a nightmare. People aren't always what they seem. And as someone who's diagnosed with bi-polar, I can tell you, it makes it worse for sure. You don't know which side your getting unless they are stabilized with treatment/meds/discipline etc.

~Paul
 
  Reply With Quote
jesus_said_iam is offline jesus_said_iam Post #3  October 9,2009, 7:16am
jesus_said_ia…'s Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: May 2008

Marion Iowa

Posts: 19

See profile

Thank you for your reply. I want others to know that i am not saying Bipolar is a red flag. She refused to take her meds. Just last week someone contacted me from another group and claimed we had alot in common. We chatted and she would send me emails also, with lots of love quotes. She said she lived in Ark. At first I thought she was honest, then i traced her email IP address and it came from Nigeria. I know there is alot of romance scams out there. That is why i ask is the internet a safe place to meet a soul mate. If anyone want the website on romance scams, it is www.romancescams.org. It is interesting to read. Or how to trace a email: www.ip-adress.com
I really think people need to be safe and protect themself from deceivers and evil doers.
 
  Reply With Quote
jesus_said_iam is offline jesus_said_iam Post #4  October 9,2009, 7:23am
jesus_said_ia…'s Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: May 2008

Marion Iowa

Posts: 19

See profile

Just so all know i am not in anyway saying those with Bi-Polar make wrong mates. She refuse to take her meds. Last week someone contacted me from another group and we chatted. She said she came from Ark. When she sent me a email with love poems on it, i traced her email and it came from Nigeria. So i wonder is it safe to find a soul mate on the internet. It is easy to find someones IP address and find out where it came from with in miles of their location. www.ip-adress
 
  Reply With Quote
cardguy is offline cardguy Post #5  October 9,2009, 11:19am
cardguy's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2009

Oregon

Posts: 1,226

See profile

I think it can be completely safe to meet a partner and future spouse over the internet, but that includes taking reasonable precautions that you should take to any relationship. Your post raises all kinds of red flags: moving too quickly, not having a lot of contact in person, her frequent changes of address....all of those should be red flags for any relationship, whether online or off.

Incidentally, I think that safety is a good reason to use a paid dating site for meeting people online rather than various free outlets. It's no substitute for taking personal precautions, but having to pay does weed out many potential sca.mmers, along with having a paid support staff looking to help weed them out.

I'd also say that there's no replacement for face to face contact time. There's a lot that you learn about a person by spending time interacting with them in person and seeing how they interact with others that simply can't be learned via phone calls or IMs. I would strongly warn anyone against becoming emotionally attached to anyone that they're never met in person.
 
  Reply With Quote
meechee1 is offline meechee1 Post #6  October 9,2009, 2:20pm
meechee1's Avatar

I just adopted a Yorkie pup!

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 125

See profile

As with anything, you have to be careful. You should also listen to the good advice of your friends and family. Sometimes they have a better perspective of the situation than you will. Is it possible to find a soul mate online? Perhaps...God can use any medium He wants to link you with the person He'd have you to be with, but there's a greater chance of meeting some weirdos here than in real life.
 
  Reply With Quote
jesus_said_iam is offline jesus_said_iam Post #7  October 11,2009, 4:51am
jesus_said_ia…'s Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: May 2008

Marion Iowa

Posts: 19

See profile

Thank you for all your replies. I know God knows no distance, and if there is the right person He can put them right there at the right time.
Maybe my problem was that I had been single for 8 yrs raising my two kids ,who needed me. After they reach the age of 10 and 12, I thought maybe now would be time for me to have someone also. But not taking away from there needs either.
Also at the time there was at least three people telling me this was not right. I should have listen as i was blinded with lonelyness and they were not. They may have been hearing God more than me.
 
  Reply With Quote
2praiseu is offline 2praiseu Post #8  November 10,2009, 10:00pm
2praiseu's Avatar

He is wonderful!

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 10

See profile

I did the same thing - year 2007- 2008, but decided to do a 40 day "stepping-up-the-prayer" before beginning to seriously look for jobs in my guy's state. He hadn't officially proposed but we'd visited back and forth (halfway across the country) he kept throwing out comments about being ready to be his wife and not just come out for the summer to take courses, etc. He had been the first to say the "L" word and that was after only a few months. He was a believer and worked in a prominent position helping the down and out in his city. I've realized he has a problem. I pray for him and I leave him alone, but I wonder though, how it can be so with Christians? Why can't they just be honest at the beginning, or why do they bait people, when they really don't want to live in an honest loving relationship with one person? What some people have gone through is awful - meaning those who were honest but went a step further and unknowingly, married dishonest people. Anyway, I have heard of successful marriages from the internet. But I don't know that it is for everyone. If you acknowledge God as your guide, then I think you have to have a clear go ahead from him to seek a mate online, or to date a particular person you meet on line. Though, my guy and I prayed for three days with no contact (at least he said he did ), after we went through the rounds of questions, I probably should have said, " God, I have not heard a 'yes' yet so I won't." , rather than "I guess it's okay because I didn't hear a "no" I think that is the kind of acknowledgement God wants from me - to have him be absolutely sovereign in the "having a mate" (or not) department....but this is only for me. I also feel guys have more leeway as they have the natural right to pursue.
Last edited by 2praiseu; November 10,2009 at 10:22pm. Reason: Too long!
 
  Reply With Quote
mianoelle is offline mianoelle Post #9  January 29,2010, 6:13pm
mianoelle's Avatar

is living it large! or at least busy...

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2010

Alberta, CA

Posts: 74

See profile

I do think you have to be careful and take it slow. Chatting on the internet can make it seem like you know more about a person than you actually do. Once you meet I think you need to spend a lot of time with them to get a good idea of who they truly are.
That being said, I know two couples who met on eharmony and they are both perfect for each other. It can work!
 
  Reply With Quote
FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #10  January 29,2010, 6:34pm
FaithNGod's Avatar

{Expressed through Word, Authenticated through Action} LOVE

Pacesetter

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 399

See profile

I have actually met a woman here. We have been getting to know each other for the past 4 months. We live in differing parts of the country. We have spent significant time together by my flying out to visit her 3 times and flying her out to visit me in my home state. We have developed a genuine relationship through open honest communication and not through physical contact.

The key in choosing a mate for your self is to know your self and know what sort of a helper would be best suited for you. The women we choose to marry have to be suited for us as individuals according to our values, interests, direction of life, comunications styles, personalities etc... But unless you know who you are as a individual including you weakness and faults you will not choose wisely. It is not as simple as a yes or no answer from God in choosing a mate. It is a big responsibility and requires work,dilligence and patience with God and your self. Allow God to work in yor life first. Yield to Him as a single first. It will require much more yielding to God in a connected relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Where do transsexuals fit as a christian single? | Christian Singles | Hi Everyone! Could I get your advice? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How Do I find out His Intentions confused_dater Ask a Dating Expert 4 September 12,2009 2:46pm
Ladies, here's how to find a keeper outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 11 August 25,2009 9:31pm
My Soul Mate: Is He Out There? springtime Dating 7 July 18,2009 7:06pm
Has Customer Care helped you find your Special Someone? eH_Advice_Host_Renee Success Stories 0 June 5,2009 4:52pm
How Would You Find Your Best Match? LifeRebuilder Ask Problem Solvers 5 April 27,2009 10:53pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Excellent, thank you. I think I will leave out the first part, I think it is unnecessary information to give him. I'm not interested in putting myself out there like that and it might be a little ... ” –  generallyyou

Join the “Ending a friendship” discussion

“Alfred Hitchcock - 18 Steven Spielberg - 62 *notice what?” –  dmi

Join the “War of the Directors” discussion

“ I would be "certain people" :P The issue isn't a deal-breaker, but a very strong factor preference-wise, for me.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“Love Texas Hold'em!.. I'm thinking of trying another tournament this summer...not sure yet though.. Never entered a tournament before, outside of online ones. Personally I prefer to play with ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Favorite Card Game” discussion

“Make that 3! I also had a crush on Donny Osmond. I think I still have a record or two of his. Suzie ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“Oh, my revised profile can be seen in the forum in the section where you can ask for a profile review. Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“Just remember, everything that you are feeling and/or are capable of he is as well. If he wanted to reach you, he could. Right now he knows that you are hurting, and that this is not what you ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“ Yohio. And the shortened form (Anya) is nice too.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:35am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0