chandracloud is offline chandracloud Post #1  September 21,2009, 8:38am
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I am considering dating a Jewish man we seem very personally compatible. I come from a traditional Christian background. What does the group think of dating/marriage in other faith traditions?
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #2  September 21,2009, 1:16pm
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what do you, a traditional christian, think about dating a jewish man?
 
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coeuri is offline coeuri Post #3  September 21,2009, 2:56pm
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Note:It reads "traditional Christian background". But I do agree with Notyet in wondering how your background is affecting your feelings about this.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #4  September 21,2009, 8:55pm
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Jews for Jesus!!! A good organization to help Jewish people understand Christianity.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #5  September 22,2009, 4:19am
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Personally, I think it is something that can be done if the two of you have an understanding of what's important to each of you and each other's religion. This is especially true if the two of you are just dating.

If the two of you decide to get more serious, to get married, or to have children, there may need to be additional conversation about this subject.

Please don't take what I'm about to write the wrong way. I don't mean it to be disrespectful in any way. But the way the two of you handle dating with different religious backgrounds also has a lot to do with how each of you personally feel about your own religion. Just as there are Christians who don't practice, I'm sure there are Jewish people who don't practice their faith. To some people, it's just not that important.
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #6  September 22,2009, 4:51am
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Does anyone even know what the bibles opinion of this topic is? Help me understand why this is a issue for those who are considering a relationship with someone of differing faith. Your faith might not be that important as finding someone today. What if that changes in the future? What if your faith becomes the most important thing in your life and your husband/ wife can not partake in faith with you. What do you do then?

You wont know the pain and frustration fully until you are in that situation. Would it really be worth it to you?
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #7  September 22,2009, 7:03am
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FaithNGod wrote :
Does anyone even know what the bibles opinion of this topic is? Help me understand why this is a issue for those who are considering a relationship with someone of differing faith. Your faith might not be that important as finding someone today. What if that changes in the future? What if your faith becomes the most important thing in your life and your husband/ wife can not partake in faith with you. What do you do then?

You wont know the pain and frustration fully until you are in that situation. Would it really be worth it to you?
hence my questions to chandra. i want to know what she thinks about the subject. it is hard to address this without knowing where she is at.

side note in regard to comments above: yes i know that she did not call herself a "traditional christian," whatever that is. (that will be the next debate thread- or perhaps this one will be hi-jacked- but lets hope not...). i was trying to spur her into stating a little more clearly just where she was spiritually and what she thinks about the idea..
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #8  September 22,2009, 3:49pm
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I dated a Jewish man a few years ago, but I knew going into it that he wasn't a practicing Jew and most likely never would be. For instance, I always had to remind him that I can't eat bacon (preservative intolerance) because he was eating it all the time. Had he been a practicing Jew, I don't think I would have gone out with him, and I doubt he would have asked in the first place.

If you are beyond the age where you would have children, then the problem comes when one of you decides to get more involved in his or her faith, and that happens quite often. The expectation and hope then is that the other person will share in that joy you have found or rediscovered. For him, that would mean something that the Jewish tradition sees as idol worship. For you, that would mean denying your Savior. Neither one is a good option.
 
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coeuri is offline coeuri Post #9  September 22,2009, 4:18pm
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Sorry, Notyet, I didn't mean it as a debate, just a clarification.Sometimes we assume that traditional "background" equals traditional spiritual mindset. It makes a difference how an issue is viewed,but your question is more important than my distinction.I shouldn't have brought it up.
 
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Cloud_Strife is offline Cloud_Strife Post #10  September 22,2009, 10:30pm

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FaithNGod wrote :
Does anyone even know what the bibles opinion of this topic is? Help me understand why this is a issue for those who are considering a relationship with someone of differing faith. Your faith might not be that important as finding someone today. What if that changes in the future? What if your faith becomes the most important thing in your life and your husband/ wife can not partake in faith with you. What do you do then?

You wont know the pain and frustration fully until you are in that situation. Would it really be worth it to you?
Certainly there's someone here who knows the bible's opinion

Though to be honest I don't like the wording... as if a book with pages could have an opinion

I would rather say in this case, the opinions expressed in the new testament are the opinions of the apostles and by extension, the opinion of our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. (I'm not arguing with you FnG, I'm just extrapolating your statement into a more precise wording to suite the situation)

It's important to recognize that the words in the new testament came from apostles appointed by our Lord to speak for him. And in some cases, such as the gospels and also in Revelation, Christ speaks directly through the words on the page.

As a Christian, regardless of your background or how much you are practicing, the words of the bible, in this case the new testament, -should- have an impact on the decisions in your life, because they are either words directly from Christ, or words spoken through the apostles, his direct appointees to speak for him.

We have these words saved in the form we now know as the bible. But don't let the paper and leather binding fool you. The words contained within are "living and active" and were never designed to stay on the page. They are designed to infiltrate your heart and become a part of your life. These are the words of the living God, the God of love, the God who IS love. So we aught to trust them with a trust that reflects the authorship of the words.

In this case, marrying an unbeliever, there is a concept given by the apostles commonly phased up as "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers". This phrasing comes from agriculture. A farmer would "yoke" two animals together (typically oxen) to plow his field. If the animals were of different sizes, the stronger one would pull faster than the weaker one, and it would create problems... I assume it would wear out both oxen quicker than if they kept the same pace.

This can be applied to all sorts of relationships in a Christian's life, but here we can apply towards relationships with marriage potential.

The idea is, as a believer you will gravitate towards spiritual things, heavenly ideas, the thoughts of the Holy Spirit.

As an unbeliever, your partner will gravitate towards unspiritual things, worldly ideas, the thoughts of the culture that surround you.

This creates a spiritual inequality which makes marriage like the yoking of two uneven oxen. The one who is a believer, spiritual, filled with ideas from the Holy Spirit... will have to bear with the worldly and culturally based thoughts and ideas from the unbeliever in the pair. On the flip side, the unbeliever will struggle to understand the spiritual reasonings behind the things you do as a Christian.

It may not seem difficult in the forming of the relationship (yes it should very easy to form relationships with unbelievers as a Christian who is loving), but once you become "yoked" through marriage, you now are in a situation where you (sometime down the road) will have to "fight" an uphill battle to work out your faith, and your partner may feel like "dead weight". I know it's not flattering terminology, but I'm just illustrating the point.

Also, at another point, the apostle Paul points out that even though he was single, he was free to take a wife. But he specifically states a "believing" wife. While he doesn't make that restriction for everyone explicitly, I think it's a good example to follow. That is, to restrict oneself to staying within the faith when marrying. The reasoning being what I already stated about being "equally yoked".

However, if you do not practice your faith, and you are not very concerned about the opinions expressed in the bible, then, who am I to tell you what to do? In that case I have no advice but to urge you to come to a deeper relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to the point where the opinions expressed in the scriptures DO matter to you. This might not be an overnight change in your life, but I urge you with all that I am, trust in Christ!

(FnG, I hope this helps answers you question as to why this may be a question among Christians, not everyone has the experience with the scriptures as you and I do, additionally, not everyone has the regard for scripture as you and I do)

May God bless you in your search for "the one".


Hebrews 4:12
1 John 4:16
2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1
1 Corinthians 9:5
 
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