tumbleweed is offline tumbleweed Post #41  September 12,2009, 7:15pm
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FaithNGod wrote :
I appreciate your honesty also. You are correct that their are a host of other issues. How we spend our money and the credit debt we get into is a tremendous issue. I would encourage you to start a thread on one of these that is close to your heart. I would show up if that matters.Lol
But the issue of sex is the biggest sin against our own bodies and the temple of God. Their are others like over eating or getting drunk or smoking and doing drugs. These also affect our bodies and our testimony before the world and the light we have to shine forth. Sex is more in our face than the other issues and probally the most equal temptation and struggle we have in common.
its not hard to understand why murder is a sin,, now when it comes to two concenting adults enjoying themselfs and not hurting anyone,,how is this wrong? if you cant answer this with out the bible than you truly dont know the truth on this subject,,,your bacicly passing on words with no understanding on your part
 
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rix is offline rix Post #42  September 13,2009, 1:55am
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Happy 1st Anniversary, babe!

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chawks64 wrote :

Of course, Rix and Tumbleweed probably do, but that's because... well, they're Rix and Tumbleweed. Troublemakers and questioners just like me.

"And when all those screamin' metal bands have decayed into the dust, there'll be a show on music row for ol' outlaws like us ...

outlaws just like us."
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #43  September 13,2009, 2:51pm
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tumbleweed wrote :
its not hard to understand why murder is a sin,, now when it comes to two concenting adults enjoying themselfs and not hurting anyone,,how is this wrong? if you cant answer this with out the bible than you truly dont know the truth on this subject,,,your bacicly passing on words with no understanding on your part
You will probally disagree with me but here it is. Apart from the unwanted babies that have been from the act of intercourse and that have had their life terminated,that abviously are affected. You have the Grand parents and other family members that will never have relationship with those babies. Besides all of the sexually transmitted disease that causes cervicle cancer and such. That effects our economy through health care. Just for starters. If you have not been affected as of yet you are lucky and buying your time.
These are just physical results of sin, not to include the eternal!!!!!!

These are my convictions concerning this.
I dont need you or anyone else to believe as I do. I have eternal security and live a life that I know honors my God. I dont even need my God to be your God. Like I said before, you are a big boy and capable of making your own decisions.

But out of respect for you I have answered your question. Out of respect for others added my disclaimer.
Last edited by FaithNGod; September 13,2009 at 2:58pm.
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #44  September 13,2009, 3:53pm
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Tumble. I would like to know from you. Being that I am unable to read your non verbal communication, that is your body language and eye contact. I would like to know if you are genuinely interested in my advice or are you looking for a debate?
 
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Questioninggirl is offline Questioninggirl Post #45  September 13,2009, 9:40pm
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FaithNGod, Thank you for sharing, even under fire! I'm new to EHA but feeling quite a bit discouraged to read a lot of these threads. I am an older Christian who has decided to wait until marriage, because I believe scripture is clear on what God asks us to do. If saying that makes me a Bible Thumper...whatever. I don't say it with any type of judgment or self righteous attitude! God is the only one who wills in me and works in me to accomplish his purpose. I have no false pretense about being "holier than thou." Believe me!
But I am discouraged by the silence on this thread except by a few willing to stand up for what the Bible says....directly... about sexual sin. Aren't we supposed to be supporting each other?
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #46  September 13,2009, 10:22pm

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I wasn't going to get involved in this thread since I already laid out my views on premarital sex in another thread in this group several months ago. However, I've thought it over and decided to re-post something I wrote in reply to a friend of mine here who was curious about my choice to wait. My relationship status has changed since then, but my convictions haven't. My SO respects and honours my decision to wait and places a high value on that aspect of who I am. With that proviso, here is what I said then and still maintain:

Hello!


You've given mea lot to think about too! To start though, no I don't say right off that I am a virgin and that's that. Awkward! I really haven't told all that many people. It's not something I consider polite dinner conversation or small-talk in general. Hmm, does this make sense at all? I recently went out a few times with a very nice guy - not a Christian, not a virgin. I really liked him, but it didn't work out. What is my point? I think I said somewhere before that I am not usually the one who ends things. I didn't say a word about my virginity or even address the sex topic - way too soon! I guess he must have been thinking about it though, because he dropped out of sight after two dates. I eventually picked up the phone and it came out that he assumed we would have very different views on sex and that I would have issues with the fact that he had been with women. I didn't. We gave it one more shot, but he pulled the disappearing act again for the same reason. Some people might read this and assume that I was all frigid and ice-queenish, but I wasn't. He held my hand - fine (I enjoyed it). He kissed me at the door- also fine (more than, really, if we're all being honest here!). I don't have issues with physical contact, there are just limits to how far I will go.


Another example. If I had to look seriously at my romantic life, I would have to say that I have only been in love once. He was not a virgin and we never really dated. However, we did have a truly amazing connection. Pretty much every conversation we ever had lasted for at least four hours. We closed down countless coffeeshops and restaurants. We had similar interests and enjoyed many of the same activities. We made each other laugh and were completely at ease in each other's company. And yes, we both had very strong feelings for each other. However, he couldn't be in a romantic relationship with me because he feels that sex is a necessary part of a dating relationship and didn't see how we could work out. Walking away from him is the hardest thing I have ever done and I really struggled with my decision to remain a virgin until marriage. I prayed, I cried, I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. I was a mess. (My family thought I was nuts!) I struggled with my feelings for him for years, literally. Maybe some people will think I should have just given in, but for me, that would have been the wrong decision. Here's why: He doesn't believe in just one person for life. So, while we would have been together for a while and probably enjoyed physical intimacy, it wouldn't have lasted and I would have been devastated. There is only one first time and that is something I choose to have with my husband, whether he has waited or not. The important thing for me is that I am waiting and I live in hope that someone will come along who will respect it. Innocence is something I really value and I would hope that my future husband would see it as a good thing. I also think there is much more to a relationship than sex. From what I've seen, relationships are definitely not all romance. There has to be compatilibility on more levels than just that one. This may also just be me, but if I believe that God created sex and intended it to be something beautiful and strengthening within a marriage relationship, then I also have to believe that He will lead me to the right person and work out the details. I think sex, like any part of a marriage relationship, has to be worked on - it's not going to be perfect right from the start. However, if a husband and wife do truly love, honour, and cherish each other, then I think they will be patient and learn from each other. I think that's part of what would make it so special. Again, I know a lot of people don't feel that way.


You mentioned sex drive, etc, and maybe it's easier just to be a virgin . . . I don't know about the other virgins out there, but it's not easy for me! I'm not usually known for my bluntness, but believe me when I say that I have hormones and they make themselves very apparent. I don't think anyone in my family understands this because they all say, "Read a book, go for a walk . . " Indeed. My mom got married at 19, my sister at 21, so they have not had my experience. I can't fault them for their opinions and perspectives. They think I obsess; I think I'm human. Thank goodness I have friends who've been where I'm at and understand!! Abstinence is not the easier of the two choices, despite what some may say. I've heard all the Christian arguments: Be obedient, God will give you strength, etc . . . There are days when I want to scream at those 1-2-3 explanations!!! It's not that simple for me anyway! Still, it's a choice and a promise I made to God and my future husband, whoever he is, and I don't break my promises. So, while I sometimes feel like I might go stark-raving mad, I continue to wait because I think my husband deserves my innocence. Whether or not he will value it is another matter entirely, of course. I'm not scared of sex, by the way, and I don't have body image issues either. I did when I was in high school, but that was a long time ago and these days, vain as it may be, I think I'm looking pretty good!!


Your questions - yes, I'll answer them!


1) How do I define virginty? Well, I don't think kissing and cuddling are wrong. I think contact is important. There have been a lot of studies done demonstrating the importance of physical touch in a relationship. For example, just holding hands has been proven to improve mood and overall health. Something about endorphins . . . I, for one, thoroughly enjoy having my hand held. It sends a thrill right through me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. In short, it makes me feel very special. On the whole topic of kissing, well, this may be completely lame, but I haven't really been kissed all that much - probably because I haven't dated much either!! From what I have experienced, however, I think it's pretty fun! I won't run screaming for the hills if I get kissed, nor do I feel compelled to stamp a scarlet letter on my forehead because I've been kissed. I like it. I also enjoy cuddling, though again, I haven't had a whole lot of experience with that either. I like to be held and I like to have a shoulder to lean on. On those days and nights when I'm feeling kind of sad and lonely, there is nothing more I want than someone to lean on and it really does hurt not to have that. I don't think I would be a healthy person if I didn't like it. As for touching, well, that depends on what you mean by that particular word. I'm not a "stopping just short of the deed," kind of girl. I think it's wise to keep the clothing on - yes, I know that's not the majority view. I think a whole lot of discretion is necessary on that issue, as well as a huge amount of communication. I think a lot of confusion and misunderstandings have resulted from lack of communication on that particular issue. How far is too far, so to speak. I know some Christians shy away from almost all contact, but I'm not one of them. I have my boundaries and limits, but I don't know if I could coherently explain them all here.


2) Am I waiting until the vows are said or just until I'm sure it's the right man? I'm waiting until marriage. I know that there are no guarantees in marriage either, but it's what I'm waiting for. I suppose I don't see marriage the way a lot of people do - as a piece of paper. For me, it's a solemn vow before God and man (people, to be PC ) that I have committed my life to this person, truly for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, etc. I also have my views on the white wedding dress thing. I know it's pretty much just become tradition to most people, but for me it still has symbolic value. It's a public acknowledgement of my purity and my commitment to save myself for my husband. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but that's just the way I feel. It matters to me. I also think that if I am sure he's the right man, I can wait until the vows are said. That's why I'm all for a short engagement! If you know you're getting married, then get married already! Why drag it out for two years and keep yourself in a state of perpetual torment?!
 
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rix is offline rix Post #47  September 13,2009, 11:35pm
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Well said Lindseyk, and I appreciate your spirit Questioninggirl!

Basically, life is what our situations hand us, and we play the hand we're dealt. It is one thing to belong to a "Why Wait" group when you're in high school, or even college. However, what if you find yourself years later, and the prospect of marriage is still nowhere in sight, would you still be waving that "Why Wait" banner with enthusiasm, especially when society, and even the church, views you as a sort of oddity? Well, life found me in a similar situation, and it made me realize that we are products of our circumstances and situations. And, you can quote from the Bible, and smack me upside the head with your ninety-five pound Scoffield Reference Bible, but it will still not change that simple fact!

P.S. As an "outlaw," I appreciate my fellow posters who are able to express original thoughts, and don't have to resort to parroting biblical text. I'm sure most of us here have a fair knowledge of Bible passages, and have had more than our fill from Sunday sermons.
Last edited by rix; September 13,2009 at 11:45pm.
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #48  September 14,2009, 3:44am
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Questioninggirl wrote :
FaithNGod, Thank you for sharing, even under fire! I'm new to EHA but feeling quite a bit discouraged to read a lot of these threads. I am an older Christian who has decided to wait until marriage, because I believe scripture is clear on what God asks us to do. If saying that makes me a Bible Thumper...whatever. I don't say it with any type of judgment or self righteous attitude! God is the only one who wills in me and works in me to accomplish his purpose. I have no false pretense about being "holier than thou." Believe me!
But I am discouraged by the silence on this thread except by a few willing to stand up for what the Bible says....directly... about sexual sin. Aren't we supposed to be supporting each other?
Thankyou, I have learned the extreme value of Gods word to build, direct and encourage my life. I have no problem proclaiming it from the roof tops to whoever has ears to hear. I know many directions in the bible are difficult to follow and it is with time that conviction comes to produce life change. When we build our lives on the foundation of Gods word, it does not dissapoint but brings security.
 
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tumbleweed is offline tumbleweed Post #49  September 14,2009, 8:52am
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FaithNGod wrote :
Tumble. I would like to know from you. Being that I am unable to read your non verbal communication, that is your body language and eye contact. I would like to know if you are genuinely interested in my advice or are you looking for a debate?
first off im not a baby killer as you have implyed,,i find your type of thinking vary closed minded and dangerious,, as far as chawks64 rix and me yes through out history we are the ones who have been called outlaws troublemaker and forced into submission by the closed minds of the church,,the church throughout histoy has lied and twisted the truth for its own selfish gain, the church is supossed to help andsupport us,, dont come to me and others who question what we believe to be the truth and tell us we are sinners,,in the old testament they had a simple way to deal with this problem,,stone you to death,, problem taken care of,, well heres a big news flash for those of you still living in the old testament days,,THINGS HAVE CHANGED!! ITS THE YEAR 2,009,,,one day the truth will be for all to understand but till that day dont condem me for what i believe is the truth,, your quoting of scripture is usless as i probrobly know it far better than most and yes im able to back that claim,,,
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #50  September 14,2009, 9:16am
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rix wrote :
Basically, life is what our situations hand us, and we play the hand we're dealt. It is one thing to belong to a "Why Wait" group when you're in high school, or even college. However, what if you find yourself years later, and the prospect of marriage is still nowhere in sight, would you still be waving that "Why Wait" banner with enthusiasm, especially when society, and even the church, views you as a sort of oddity? Well, life found me in a similar situation, and it made me realize that we are products of our circumstances and situations. And, you can quote from the Bible, and smack me upside the head with your ninety-five pound Scoffield Reference Bible, but it will still not change that simple fact!
Well, given that she's 28 and I'm 26, we're hardly naive students who've never seen the world, and while I can't speak for lindsey, I still don't have marriage near in sight. I've made the commitment to remain a virgin until marriage, and it's not a commitment with a deadline. We may be products of our circumstances and situations, but we are also products of our choices and of our Creator.
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