cloudedleopard is offline cloudedleopard Post #1  August 18,2009, 3:10pm

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I'm not sure if this was a real dream or a daydream. Some days they all blend together So I don't know if it came from my own imagination or from God's divine intervention in my dreams, I'll let you be the judge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
I was in heaven, in a small room where people were lining up in front of Jesus.

Many were going to the front of the line and asking Jesus for the best positions in the Kingdom. Many were insisting on being all the way at the back of the line where they would be noticed for being last and thus receive the best positions.

I remember thinking "I don't want to be in the front asking for the best, or in the back where I will be noticed. I want to be lost in the middle where only Jesus can find me"

I knew the position I would ask for when I got my chance... I wanted to be an engineer in the Kingdom... someone who designs and builds great things.

Again I had this same dream / daydream but the line was gone, everyone had gotten their job and nobody was left.

This time in the dream I was not myself but I was a little boy. And Jesus looked down at me and said, "Child, where have they all gone?"
"Stay here beside me and I will teach you what you want to know"
So I grabbed his arm and clung to his side.

To the side of the room there was desks... like a school room. I sat down at one of these desks.

I had the dream / daydream a third time

This time I had fallen asleep at the desk, and Jesus was gently urging me to wake up.... everything faded to white and I never saw his face, but I knew it was Jesus waking me up.

That was the end of the dream / daydream and it was the last time I had it.
 
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cloudedleopard is offline cloudedleopard Post #2  August 18,2009, 3:26pm

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this is why my name is clouded leopard.

Though they are beautiful animals and great hunters, they are always lost in jungle. I associate this with being obscured where only Jesus can find me.

Not mention it also had the word clouded which also means obscured. And clouds obscure all things behind them.

And Jesus said he would be coming back in the clouds. So that's where I'm longing to be. Lost in obscurity.

But, I've gotta share what I know, so I can give away this crown, so you can wear it too, and we'll all be clouded leopards in the jungle if you want.

It's lonely if I'm hiding from my true family.
 
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cloudedleopard is offline cloudedleopard Post #3  August 18,2009, 3:30pm

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Here's a song from Jars of Clay called Heaven.
When I listen to it, I think about my desire to operate in obscurity. It's talking about a whole group of people operating the same way:

Go undercover, we drop from the screens
We're hunters and lions, we are submarines
Under the surface, slip through the wires
Decipher the code words, disable the liars

And find, glowing on the inside
what's growing on the inside
Heaven's not that far
Glowing on the inside
Showing on the inside
it's growing where we are

We shatter devices, exit the stage
We stop masquerading, to rattle the cage
We face every searchlight at places we hide
We dress up for Eden, the gates open wide

We are, we are, we are
We're hunters and lions
We go undercover, we cover, we cover

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll post the song on the videos section if you want to listen to it.
 
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coeuri is offline coeuri Post #4  August 18,2009, 10:24pm
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My name has a story. At the time I was confronted with healing a bit over a year ago, I was engaged to a non Christian and had let his world become my world because I was so disillusioned with Christians and church and felt alienated from the community of faith. A series of experiences changed that for me and in the process of healing, I made the choice to break that engagement and find a church to be a part of that answered my desire for the fasting of justice (Isaiah) as part of my worship.

Like everyone I long for relationship and setting on that lonely journey while beginning from scartch to rebuild a community was a leap of faith.

Several people told me it took courage. When I found out in my French class last summer how much the French spelling of courage looked like the French word for heart I was awed by the thought of how much courage comes from the heart. So when I began to open up on line as a step in rebuilding community, I chose the name coeurigeuse to remind me that courage comes from the heart. So coeuri is a shortened form of that name.

Thanks for sharing this part of your story, Paul. It is so good to hear the infulences on people's choices of names.
 
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