Why are christian guys NOT into christian girls ?


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TDHTDHTDH is offline TDHTDHTDH Post #1  August 8,2009, 5:58am
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It is true that guys don't talk as much as girls do about sex, relationships, marriage....though we do think about one of those topics at least as much

Many christian men are more sexually attracted to secular women than they are to the women within their churches. Why is that ? Why are we so hot for women outside the church ?
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #2  August 8,2009, 6:11am
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TDHTDHTDH wrote :
It is true that guys don't talk as much as girls do about sex, relationships, marriage....though we do think about one of those topics at least as much

Many christian men are more sexually attracted to secular women than they are to the women within their churches. Why is that ? Why are we so hot for women outside the church ?
Hello, please dont take this the wrong way but why are you posing such a question? It seems like a question a female would post.
 
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TDHTDHTDH is offline TDHTDHTDH Post #3  August 8,2009, 6:16am
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Why are you making a post on a post you have no interest in ? Seems like a rebuttle a man would make and then post
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #4  August 8,2009, 6:21am
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Women talk more about sex than me? Hmmm....I'm not sure about that. But in any case, I think a distinction needs to be made between a "church goer" and a "christian". Anyone can walk into a church, but not everyone is going to abide by christian values. It is possible to find a non-church going christian, because that gets into a question or organized religion.

But if you're asking why men are attracted to non-christian women, again, I'd have to wustion in what aspect. To me, being a christian means believing that Christ has died for our sins so that we one day will rejoin him in his kingdom. So, a person can hold christian beliefs in that respect, but not lead a christian lifestyle.

Now, if you are asking why men are attracted to women who don't live a christian lifestyle, I think it comes down to the devil is very tempting. It's more appealing to indulge instant pleasures instead of waiting.

But it's also important to remember that christians are people and aren't perfect. They will sin. So, it's possible that men might be falling for christian women who are falling a little short in one or two areas of their lives. At that point, the man should be trying to help the woman build up her moral character by leading with example. The devil is very tempting.
 
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TDHTDHTDH is offline TDHTDHTDH Post #5  August 8,2009, 6:49am
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No I am just making a statement about attraction....most guys I know are christians and though they want nothing more than to be married to a christian women the complaint I hear most often is that they are just not attracted to the "girls" in their church....Seemingly attractive people come to church for worship week in and week out and then skate by one another after the service is over nearly oblivious to the fact they are of the opposite "SEX".... I realize church is a place of worship....I get that...but if guys are not meeting girls at church that they are attracted to then something is seriously wrong....where else will they turn to meet a christian woman ? At the beach where all the hotties are ? Not likely...you'd think meeting someone at a church would be like shooting fish in a barrel...if so we guys must be holding a BB-gun and you gals must be minnows !!
 
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cloudedleopard is offline cloudedleopard Post #6  August 8,2009, 8:30am

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I must not hang around the same type of Christians, because I think the primary thing that makes a woman attractive is her faith and her obedience as a servant of Christ. This absolutely cannot be gained by those outside of the body of Christ.

That's not to say that I don't have physical attractors (things that I like to see in a woman).
But with the modern technologies of hair dye, highlights, and color contacts... (not to mention all the things women do to their bodies) I think nearly any woman could "magically" transform to flat out stun me visually.

And I believe that women in the church aren't going to necessarily focus on outer beauty. (Because of the bible verses that say to focus on inner beauty)

How hard would it be for a Christian girl to do all the cosmetic things that please her husband after she is married? Not very hard I don't think... cosmetics, beauty, these things aren't hard, and I think most Christian women would be delighted to please their husband if their husband told them what he liked.

But can we, as Christian men, take the lead and say "I'm not going to trust my eyes to see beauty, I'm going to trust my heart to see the inner beauty which is much more difficult to obtain"?

Outer beauty requires a make-over of the outside and for the most part it is painless and a whole make-over can be done in a day - clothes, hair, and body (the works).

But inner beauty requires looking at our hearts, making decisions to follow in the path of Christ, and seeking after his kingdom with all our hearts. Inner beauty is a tough and rocky road, and it's something we should all strive for (not just women).

In light of all this, if a man who knows these things continues to judge by outer beauty, it's like trading a kingdom for a day in a purple robe and crown... Any girl can dress herself up on the outside if she has a little bit of money, but can she prepare her heart "like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband"? Can she take the challenges in scripture and apply them, not just reading the words but doing what they say?

Is she like Ruth, who clung to the love of God (that she saw in Naomi) and continued to serve her widowed mother (even though she too was a widow). And look what happened to her as a result? She earned a husband of great status, and a position in the lineage of kings! (even Christ!)

Or take Ester, who listened to the advice of the godly men in her life, and thereby achieved not only marriage to a king, a ruler of many kingdoms, but she was then in the position to lay her life down (and she took the risk) to save her people. And look what God brought about through her because of her wisdom and her adherence to godly counsel!

Did these two women do anything that is supernatural or anything that requires extra-ordinary talents of mind or body? Did they do anything that most women cannot do?

No, they simply knew how to discern godly advice, listened to those in authority over them (and obeyed), had the faith to trust God with their lives, and had the strength of heart and character to do what they knew was right when they were called to action.

All these things are characteristics that are obtained through faith in God and while those outside of the church may be able to imitate these characteristics for a time (probably because of their conscience), the true fuel of these things comes from a faith and obedience in Christ. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
 
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FaithNGod is offline FaithNGod Post #7  August 8,2009, 12:44pm
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Christian women have it difficult in these days that we live. Look at all they have to compete with in the world. Plus I can imagine that they have dificulty finding that ballance of beauty and looking like the rest of the world and what those in the church think of them.

I know that being a single father raising my teen daughter that even the clothes manufactures are more prone to immodesty. When it comes to beautifying them selves unless we have ever walked in their shoes when it comes to doing their hair, makeup and choosing a wardrobe we can not be hard on them. This not to mention the other ways they beautify their selves like plucking hair, waxing Etc. All these things take time. I dont know about you but I shave and run a brush through my hair and I am good.

We also dont understand the pressures friends and their hormones place on them. Also us guys dont make it any easier on them. You know as well as I that we are visually attracted and how the media causes us not to be satisfied with plain looking women.

I struggle with this my self. I have been getting to know a lady from Eharmony that has not been my type that I usually go after pyysically and visually. I have been really streaching my self in this. But I really enjoy our time together and miss her when I am not with her. I have become a little bit more attracted to her because of her personality. But for the long term I still struggle with this.

As for women in my church. They are either all married or to young for me. I am part of a small congregation. But I value my worship there over my desire to find a mate there. Even though they are all attractive to me in their own way.

I am not concerned with where I find a Christian woman because I have faith that God is in controll of my life and He will reveal her according to His will. I just make my self available in sites like this and others and go to the places where the christian women are.

Besides us men need to be men. If their is a woman we might be interested in we have to make our selves known. Rather than being insecure and fearfull of rejection. I have gone up to many women who are christians and introduced myself.

With out risk their can be no reward!
 
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Xman is offline Xman Post #8  August 8,2009, 5:21pm
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I'm not so sure that the premise of this discussion is actually true. What does INTO mean? Does this mean sexually attracted? If so, do Christian girls want to be objects of sexual desire? Do Christian men want to objectify women this way? Where is the Christian component in all of this or is this about the ways of the world?
 
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TDHTDHTDH is offline TDHTDHTDH Post #9  August 8,2009, 8:10pm
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"I struggle with this my self. I have been getting to know a lady from Eharmony that has not been my type that I usually go after pyysically and visually. I have been really streaching my self in this. But I really enjoy our time together and miss her when I am not with her. I have become a little bit more attracted to her because of her personality. But for the long term I still struggle with this.:"


This part of your response intrigues me. I appreciate and respect your candor. Let me ask you what was it about her initally that peaked your interest despite your admission that she is not your typical kind of love interest ? What is her words? Her heart ? By the way, If I met a girl I actually liked but was not overly attracted to physically then I would hope that God would give me the grace and courage to follow my heart and not my eyes...

Cheers Bud,
M.
 
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TDHTDHTDH is offline TDHTDHTDH Post #10  August 8,2009, 8:25pm
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will be hitting the bike hard today,only 3 weeks left until the big race !!

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Xman wrote :
I'm not so sure that the premise of this discussion is actually true. What does INTO mean? Does this mean sexually attracted? If so, do Christian girls want to be objects of sexual desire? Do Christian men want to objectify women this way? Where is the Christian component in all of this or is this about the ways of the world?
Yes you would hope (at least I do) that christian women would want to be the "objects of our desire"...if they are not the objects of our desire, then who or what will be the object of our sexual desire ? Porn ? Secular gals? Maybe this is exactly the problem, that christians for some reason go to church not being comfrtable witht he fact that we are checking each other out...it would be hypocritical for us (both men and women) to maintain this image of piety when we are sexual beings who do check one another out...whether you think it is a sin or not it is happening all the time...though you would never know this with the facade maintained in today's churches....Maybe we should give one another more freedom to engage one another as sexual beings...or at least be more honest about our own feelings towards the opposite sex
 
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