Just curious: if you are on eHarmony, what are your "religion" match settings?


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bronte71 is offline bronte71 Post #1  August 2,2009, 11:07am
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I've been on eHarmony about a month. The first week I had my match preferences "religion" setting set to "Christian" only, with a few denominations chosen. I got several matches, but they were mostly flexible matches a bit outside of my distance and age range (I assume that means there are few Christian men my age, in my city, who came up as a match for me). The matches slowed WAY down after the first week.

In order to increase my matches, I extended my distance preference, my age preference, etc-- anything I felt I could reasonably compromise on. That helped only a little.

As a last resort, I extended my religious match setting to not only include "Christian" (with even more denominations added, some of which I recognize as protestant, but I have no idea what they believe), but also "Spiritual but not Religious". I hoped this might-- MAYBE-- include men who had been raised in a Christian home and were THINKING about coming back to church, men who were trying church for the first time but hadn't settled on a denomination, the Christmas-and-Easter goers, etc. (I know it could include all kinds of non-Christians.) I have my doubts, as this was one setting I didn't want to change. But I think having too many hard-and-fast rules is going to mean I get a big fat NOTHING out of my subscription fee, and possibly miss someone great. I can always close out matches that aren't a good fit.

What are your experiences with eHarmony? Has anyone gotten reasonably decent Christian matches? What are your thoughts on "Religion" settings? I belong to a Methodist church but am not super-picky as far as Christian denominations-- is it good to leave this parameter sort of flexible? Wide open? Or stick with what you know? Any other thoughts?
 
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tirhod is offline tirhod Post #2  August 2,2009, 12:39pm
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That is really a question of how important religion is to you. I learned from my previous marriage that being on the same page with reference to my faith is extremely important. You can't trust a person to be interested in adjusting to you, or, you can't necessarly trust that someone who is "looking into" getting back into church will really do that (it simply raises the question, how can you be "thinking about" just go ahead and go). I have learned from being on eharmony that even if people say they are Christian and only want to meet other Christians, this tells me very little about what they actually believe, something that ultimately needs to be determined when we meet (once again, I consider this very important in my own relationships).

At the same time, this is my second go around with internet dating. Currently I am only on eharmony as when I was on there about 5-6 years ago, it impressed quite a bit more than all the other sites. Although I still like the premise and structure, I think the quality has gone down in the interim years with this area being one of the prime dissapointments.
 
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mclark is offline mclark Post #3  August 2,2009, 4:05pm
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I have been on eharmony about 2 month now. I found the first week to be filled with matches. I have closed about 250. Now there are days when no matches show up. That's okay, because you can't communicate with all of them any way.

I did not prefer a denomination. I feel his faith is in how he walks, not what church he belongs to. Finding how he walks is only gained through time. That said, tirhod, is correct; you do have be reading from the same book. I don't know if a Holiness Pentecostal and a Primitive Baptist will mesh well, but if that is where you and he are lead, then God will help you make it work.

I also did not limit the geographical area. I do not want to limit God in any way. If my best match is in England, then Lord will make it work for both of us.

eHarmony is only a tool. It is helping me get back in so to speak and helping me understand and refine what it is that I am looking for.

At this point I think prayer and common sense are going to be your two most useful tools.
 
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esmom8789 is offline esmom8789 Post #4  August 3,2009, 8:41am
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Hi! My religion match settings are Christian with Baptist and Lutheran. From some of my reads since then, I'm wondering if I closed off a whole bunch of people. Do you think it has a relation to active sex life?
 
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