why do nice women always get or attempted to get taken advantage of by men


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penda15 is offline penda15 Post #1  June 27,2009, 10:34am
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I am new to the dating scene since my divorce. I've been on the site 2 months and have met a few potentials. Both seem normal until we talked on the phone and went on first date. I am a nice, laid back person. I can't recall anything I said or did that would give the indication I am a village idiot or "fool's paradise" was stamped on my head. The first guy tried to get me to let him move in with me because he "was in love" with me after 3 weeks-BIG NO NO! The second guy tried to scam me with some emergency surgury his daughter needed while he was working out of town. The last one is still up in the air he still in the normal phase. I really need some advice, because something somewhere is going wrong. I am not sure what vibe I give off or what the deal is! I welcome any tips!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #2  June 27,2009, 5:54pm

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Dear penda15,

I first of all want to welcome you to eHarmony Advice!

I can certainly understand your concerns when one of your matches professed his love after 3 weeks and wanted to move in, and I am very concerned about the match who asked you for money to pay for his daughter's surgery. Our Safety Tips remind members to trust their instincts and to watch out for someone who "Insists on getting overly close, overly fast" or "Reports a sudden personal crisis and pressures you to provide assistance."

Whenever you have concerns about a match, our Safety Tips also ask you to e-mail your concerns to matchconcerns@eharmony.com. If you haven't already done so, please do. We take these reports seriously, and they allow us to take any and all appropriate steps necessary to keep eHarmony the safest and best place to start a relationship on the web.

You are welcome to review our Safety Tips by clicking here: http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips

I'm sorry that you had these two experiences right in a row. Of course, there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it takes a few interactions with someone for them to show their true colors, and I'm glad, when these matches did, that you trusted your instincts.

However, keep in mind that every match is a unique individual, and I encourage you not to doubt yourself and to approach every match on their own terms. That being said, you always want to keep your sound judgment at hand, and we ask that you contact us whenever you have concerns about a match.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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