Why us older guys prefer younger youthful women


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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #1  July 5,2009, 2:45pm

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Hi again all you 60+ folk; especially you ladies looking for that answer to that ages-old question of why we older men prefer younger women. It's been a while since my earlier post on the subject, so I thought I'd start a new thread with more positive directions, and try to clarify some things that were negatively construed. Let me point out what us older gents want more clearly, so you older ladies can increase your chances of catching our eyes (and hearts!).

I originally pointed out the biological foundations of the urge ( I had said that men seek women who can "carry their child") and got a lot of hurt and misguided responses; I certainly didn't mean to imply us 60+ fellas are trying to start a new family! What I did try to point out is that, in general, when we become single later in life, either by divorce or by becoming a widower, we who want the whole package tend to focus on the not necessarily younger, but youthful women. We don't (in general) just want the good looker with no brains and foolish attitude, but we seek the young looking and young thinking woman (again, this is a general reference to 60+ single gents). I know a lot of you reading this are already in happy relationships with older and same-aged women, and basically shouldn't even be reading this anyway!
Yes, of course some of us are in no position to talk; but I refer only to the conditions we have control over; mainly, our relative weight or fitness (called Body Mass Index, or BMI; google it); baldness, shortness, or prematurely grey can't be helped, and any of you fellas who go for the hairpiece and elevator shoes aren't fooling too many ladies. Any ladies who pick on men for these conditions are prejudicial and judgmental.
A man's fitness, courtesy, finesse, style, organized home life and successful financial career can be (helped). So rule # 1 dear fine, beautiful 60's + woman, is get fit! stay fit. 60+ guys, if you want the youthful (yep, even if she's older than you!0 and/or younger women, get fit!
So now this is addressed by the fit, successful gentlemen over 60 to the ladies (our age) who have their BMI's in the healthy range, have a career and love staying fit because they love the feel of fitness, not because someone persuaded them to be fit.
What else do we men want? We want a smile, a spirit, an energy level. We want to discuss how well you are, not how sick you feel. We want you to initiate energetic enterprises; we want you to be adventurous, exciting, creative, not tired, hungry and sad. Think youthful, put on a youthful face (smile), talk youthful and you will get more of our attention! Not seeking our attention? Then why are you reading this? (caught you smiling?! Keep it up!)
 
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Momof4cpls3 is offline Momof4cpls3 Post #2  July 6,2009, 4:28pm
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Just joined e-harmony and e-harmony advice this week. I enjoyed reading your post. I agree with most of it. What if you have 3 out of the 4 for the woman over 60? Where do we find these men--that will agree to 3 of out these 4 --adventurous, spirit and smile--working always working on the fit after 4 children and helping with first grandchild--while daughter got started on her career!! I had a pool--the ex husband got it, he doesn't like to swim--go figure--neither does his new wife!! No bitterness here--there went my fit--so I need to reinvent my self again. Don't regret the children or the time with the grandson--legacy of love.

Let me know if there are more men like you out there. I agree with one of the other women who belongs to e-harmony --she states she hasn't had much luck with getting past the first few questions-- with the men and then they are gone??? So maybe you are right--the majority of men our age--have no faith in the women our age at being fun, adventurous, etc. We raised the children, helped put bread on the table--we were not alot of fun during all of that--it went by too fast if you were doing it!! How many of us were having a lot of fun--we were very glad the 4 children grew up, picked good majors in college; picked loving partners who could communicate better than we could at their age.

We vacationed for 10 plus years in Florida during spring breaks--while the kids were in college--someone always had to take tests early so we could go together but it worked--some times it was Mom taking exams so I could go!!! Enjoy those sunsets. I will keep smiling.
Last edited by Momof4cpls3; July 7,2009 at 5:41pm. Reason: wrote it too quickly
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #3  July 12,2009, 11:45am

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Hey MOMOF4; I'm replying in my favorite style, in bold.

[momof4 said] Just joined e-harmony and e-harmony advice this week. I enjoyed reading your post. I agree with most of it. What if you have 3 out of the 4 for the woman over 60? Where do we find these men--that will agree to 3 of out these 4 --adventurous, spirit and smile--working always working on the fit after 4 children and helping with first grandchild--while daughter got started on her career!! I had a pool--the ex husband got it, he doesn't like to swim--go figure--neither does his new wife!! No bitterness here--there went my fit--so I need to reinvent my self again. Don't regret the children or the time with the grandson--legacy of love. No bitterness you say, but mentioning "he got the pool" etc is...and you have every right to be. Sounds like "reinvention" is a good idea, but my I suggest "rejuvenation"? There's nothing like getting fitter, firmer, younger and sexier and then winning a steady new guy as sweet revenge (or making him drop the new one once he sees how hot you've become!)

Let me know if there are more men like you out there. I agree with one of the other women who belongs to e-harmony --she states she hasn't had much luck with getting past the first few questions-- with the men and then they are gone??? So maybe you are right--the majority of men our age--have no faith in the women our age at being fun, adventurous, etc. We raised the children, helped put bread on the table--we were not alot of fun during all of that--it went by too fast if you were doing it!! How many of us were having a lot of fun--we were very glad the 4 children grew up, picked good majors in college; picked loving partners who could communicate better than we could at their age.

We vacationed for 10 plus years in Florida during spring breaks-while the kids were in college-someone always had to take tests early so we could go together but it worked--some times it was Mom taking exams so I could go!!! Enjoy those sunsets. I will keep smiling.Good!![/quote] and as I suggested above; the one reason I've just about given up on 60's ladies is that they've gotten bitter and given up; and they show it. So don't give up. Commit to rejuvenation. Check what your BMI should be for your weight, and whip yourself into shape! Don't look at it as a revenge thing, or as a "get better looking" thing, look at it as a life extension program, or a disease avoidance program. Let yourself be hungry. Try fasts and cleansing diets. You've heard about what they've said about slim people and longevity. Get out those old pics of a younger, cuter fitter you and post them all over the house.
I don't like to say good luck; we make our own luck. May I say, instead, Make it happen.
Last edited by Robecology; July 12,2009 at 11:47am. Reason: forgot a thought....
 
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Momof4cpls3 is offline Momof4cpls3 Post #4  August 7,2009, 11:28am
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Thanks, will practice-reinvention ,rejuvenation--and keeping my positive attitude. I do have my health, my family, and my mind!! I will continue to grow, change and be a better person--with someone or alone. By the way--where do you buy your coffee, ha, ha! I don't know that brand!!
 
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Cougar007 is offline Cougar007 Post #5  August 11,2009, 1:44pm
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Thread:

I agree with you comments, but don't go overboard. I am 60 years old and the last 2 men I have seen are 50 & 49.

They both think I'm in my 40's. I have been honest and let them know that I'm 60, but they don't care. I take care of my mind & body and they say I'm HOT.

Funny, I don't feel HOT, I just feel like myself and I enjoy life.

Advice to ALL WOMEN, it has nothing to do with younger women, it has to do with keeping your body & mind in shape.

We have such an advantage over younger women........we are not jealous, possessive, insecure and we pretty much know what we want in a man. . We have experienced life with all our joys and our heart breaks and we can handle life so much better.

Our kids are grown and have kids of their own. We have no real responsibility and we can pick up and go/do what we want. We don't have to worry about when we have sex, no one will walk in on us. Have fun and enjoy life, we only go around once.

So you 60 and over women, get out there and give hell!!

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ladyscience is offline ladyscience Post #6  August 12,2009, 6:13pm
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One of my favorite movies is Moonstruck with Cher and Olivia De hav????. Anyway, there is a classic line by her when she keeps asking everyone why do older men want another (younger) woman? The answer is accidentally given to her by a guy she meets in a restaurant one night while dining alone,(rermember the scene?) When her husband finally comes in late one night, she interrogates him,and confronts him the next night at the family dinner table with this statement, "Old man, you're going to die just like the rest of us", meaning that having a younger woman does not change the fact about a man's age. Even though SHE may be younger, HE is not! I love this line, and completely embrace this belief! Most older men want a younger woman so that they think of themselves as being younger. I say to them, "Look in the mirrow!"
Last edited by ladyscience; August 12,2009 at 6:15pm. Reason: misspelled words
 
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Alistair is offline Alistair Post #7  August 12,2009, 7:37pm
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Maybe for some men it is an ego thing. The younger woman means that he still has 'it'. For the woman I suspect often money, security etc might be the attraction.
Having said all that, there is no reason why people necessarily have to stick to similar age groups.
I think Robecology is being somewhat shallow with the emphasis on the physical. I must admit that very overweight women are a bit off putting. I referee sports, so someone reasonably fit is good, if only to have the stamina to walk places. But the attitude of mind of thinking of age as merely a number and not giving up on things is important.
I am 64 and actually I am NOT looking for a woman 20 years younger. Gasps of shock. For a start she is likely to have teenage children, and I have no desire to go through that again. I am not the way I looked at 20, and neither will she be, but women my age can still be attractive and desirable, and there is something to be said for experience, so all you older women out there should not give up hope. In fact never give up hope.
 
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Alistair is offline Alistair Post #8  August 12,2009, 7:38pm
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Last edited by Alistair; August 13,2009 at 7:55pm. Reason: Duplicate
 
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txkdoc is offline txkdoc Post #9  August 13,2009, 8:02am
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I was married to a man who was 20 years older than me. Lots of fun when I was in my 30's and he was in his 50's. He died last year a very old sick man and I am in my 50's now. Not so much fun anymore.
 
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grnpat4 is offline grnpat4 Post #10  September 4,2009, 3:01pm
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There are lots of 60s men out there who do not look very fit. I seldom get replies. By looking at the age range most of them seem to be looking for younger women.

Now that my children are gone and I have retired, I'm trying to regain some fitness. I'm still intellectualy and socially active. I'd like a companion who grew up at approximately the same time that I did.

How many of those men are really going to get a much younger woman? Maybe because they can provide a financial advantage?
 
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