justjulia is offline justjulia Post #1  August 12,2009, 9:33am
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I am retired and independent; not well-off, but manage my own affairs. I'd like to meet someone who is very comfortable - is that so wrong? I don't need a companion to struggle with and miss out on things with. I'd like to attend the theatre, go to museums and travel. I'd like to meet someone who indulges in these activities and would like someone fun, interesting, intelligent and somewhat attractive as company. Is that so wrong? I don't think so. I'm the most "unsnoody" person you'll ever meet, so please don't be unkind with your thoughts.
 
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Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #2  August 12,2009, 6:11pm
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I know what you mean. I am a year from a fairly nice retirement, were I to find someone in a similar position our life could be very nice. I was the main income provider in my marriage, in part because of my husband's age and part because he worked in a profession that doesn't pay all that well. So I have been there and done that, now I want more of an equal situation. That is neither shallow or mercenary, it is simply that now it is our turn.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 15,2009, 6:41pm
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I'm with you!

I'm not dating yet; my husband only died last year.

But, if and when I ever decide to remarry, you can bet it will be to someone who has at least as much as me, if not more!

We're not crude or materialistic....We're just old enough to know better!
 
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DLance is offline DLance Post #4  August 17,2009, 6:23pm
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I want someone who is independent, and who has their own career. No more free lunch for someone to just show up and call to see which charge card will take. Five calls in 16 years, which card will work; call the back side. Gees.

I want someone who has more to loose than I. Twelve years and counting, single. I must be very difficult. When I went to see my matches, I checked that I would look the "world over." No Matches. Maybe I am really a hard person to deal with.
 
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Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #5  August 18,2009, 4:27pm
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DLance--Maybe we give too much information or scare off people who are unsure of themselves. You list yourself as very conservative, I list as liberal and with some advanced degrees. Is it just too much for some matches? Who knows. In reality I have very conservative friends and friends who don't have that much education but all are flexible and tolerant which is more important.
 
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fudgesmom is offline fudgesmom Post #6  August 25,2009, 7:46am
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I'm with your thoughts on this subject. I too was the main provider, I went to work while hubby worked at a job with no income, for 22 years. I'd like to experience what a true marriage partnership is supposed to be.
Definately independant, have had to be, but I prefer someone to have FUN and share life with.
 
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pgh52 is offline pgh52 Post #7  August 25,2009, 4:10pm
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I don't want to miss out, I was in a marriage where I was the main provider, I want a true marriage partnership? I thought in marriage it was a case of what is ours is ours, not, whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. A partnership is just what it says, a partnership is a business entity with everything split 50/50, cold and calculated. A marriage is a meeting of minds, no accounts, take the rough with the smooth, better or worse, richer or poorer, the finer things are the good times, not a better car, a bigger vacation, a larger house (if you have found a way to be in two rooms at once let me know). Focus on whats really important. If you do not have enough to provide for the finer things yourself, go back and earn it, then retire. Too cruel? Wheres the pre-nup!
 
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Marlo5678 is offline Marlo5678 Post #8  August 26,2009, 4:27pm
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I think we are all looking for equal partners I want companionship and someone who can share my great life. I think we have to come across as sure of ourselves , confident and positive if we want any match to respond to us. (vs demanding and abrasive) Remember that when you just have words on a page, we have lost so much of communication (body language , voice tone etc) So...I think the secret is to be open to a few communications back and forth and to get to open communication before we start "qualifying" a prospect. I have taught sales for years--first you want to get an appointment---then you determine the need or ask your questions to qualify the prospect. It is probably "off putting" if you talk how you are going to handle money in a relationship before there even is a relationship. Money is a very emotional issue for many people. Yes, we don't want to waste our time, but a few communications and a date should be the first goal. From what I am seeing on these forums--everyone wants more people to communicate back and forth to see if there is anything there. Anything we do to annoy what could be likely prospect is shooting ourself in the foot.
 
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fudgesmom is offline fudgesmom Post #9  August 26,2009, 6:33pm
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pgh52 wrote :
I don't want to miss out, I was in a marriage where I was the main provider, I want a true marriage partnership? I thought in marriage it was a case of what is ours is ours, not, whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. A partnership is just what it says, a partnership is a business entity with everything split 50/50, cold and calculated. A marriage is a meeting of minds, no accounts, take the rough with the smooth, better or worse, richer or poorer, the finer things are the good times, not a better car, a bigger vacation, a larger house (if you have found a way to be in two rooms at once let me know). Focus on whats really important. If you do not have enough to provide for the finer things yourself, go back and earn it, then retire. Too cruel? Wheres the pre-nup!
I guess I should use a dictionary before I post. Your response was far from what I was saying.
For me, it's not the things, but the relationship. There was no meeting of the minds; the ex was consumed with something that was NEVER going to provide for the family. No days off, no time with the family. His occupation sucked the life right out of the marriage and family.
The 'finer things' for me would be to have someone who takes time to smell the flowers with his family. Not totally ignore them.
If you had a job that provided NO income, NO insurance, NO time off.....would you continue to work for that employer, or find another means to provide for your family?
 
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Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #10  August 26,2009, 6:48pm
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Opps double post.
Last edited by Diann1950; August 26,2009 at 6:56pm. Reason: double post
 
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