Men tell us women why you join EH and then give no energy


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Marlo5678 is offline Marlo5678 Post #1  July 31,2009, 2:58pm
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Us females are wondering why you join
EH and then don't give it any energy. Why waste everyone's time if you don't respond to matches and act like 16 year olds at the school dance--circling the dance floor but just standing around. There are some really smart, intelligent fun ladies who have a zest for life and you guys are missing out by being so cavalier or lazy . I would have thought you would only join if you were interested in meeting someone and how do you know if you don't go beyond looking at a picture and a few words on the "about me . Most of us are not desperate by any means --some of us just want to add to our friendships, others might want to find a golf partner or a dinner date of the opposite sex who is new and interesting--what are you guys looking for. Explain ---some of us ladies are pretty puzzled and if you read the posts on these sites there is a lot of the behaviour that I am talking about. Too bad because it takes 2 just like in any relationship.
 
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chapgirl is offline chapgirl Post #2  July 31,2009, 9:11pm
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Marlo,

I think you are making some accusations there that might make the men not want to respond. I am a woman, but I have been on EH for a couple of years receiving matches, that haven't appealed to me on the big ticket items. I have closed them out and some of the time learned I had had already been closed by them as well. But, there are many who stay in my list for months with no response.

In my case, I am not a paying member at the moment out of financial necessity, and so I cannot communicate with them unless I pay, even if I was really interested. Life is complicated at the moment for more than me. Many are trying to keep their heads above water. Judging each other as "Not putting in the energy" might be unfair. Maybe their energy is spent in other more important areas at the moment.
 
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Marlo5678 is offline Marlo5678 Post #3  August 1,2009, 5:40am
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Yep, there is some judging going on in my question for sure. But if you look around this site there are a lot of women that would like to understand this. WE all know that there are some that we get sent that are not paying memebers which to me is a flaw of the process but that is something we have to live with. It just seems to me that with the numbers with the common issue, that men might do well to self analyze their motivations for joining in the first place. The new adage "he is just not that into you" probably applies but how would anyone know that is true without a little communication . EH is a pretty expensive way to look at a bunch of ordinary photos of people of the opposite sex.
 
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Marlo5678 is offline Marlo5678 Post #4  August 1,2009, 5:42am
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By the way, if someone doesn't want matchs sent they can say that. So to all you folks out there that are busy at the moment--choose that setting .
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #5  August 1,2009, 8:58am
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Notice that everyone who has posted on this thread is a woman. I think that means your original post is too judgmental. Quite a few guys are just circling the dance floor, but not all of them.
 
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Ladama is offline Ladama Post #6  August 2,2009, 7:43am
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If a person choses not to upload a photo on this site, then it appears to me they aren't that serious about finding someone. This is not a casual dating site. If I receive a match with no photo, I'll shoot a nudge if I find them interesting. I'll close the match if I don't receive a response/photo.
 
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txkdoc is offline txkdoc Post #7  August 2,2009, 2:28pm
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I've decide the no pictures and no reply, not even a no thanks, are the lookers who have not paid in. Really a waste of my time to have E-H send them to me as matches.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  August 2,2009, 6:52pm
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[quote=chapgirl;694338]
I think you are making some accusations there that might make the men not want to respond. I am a woman, but I have been on EH for a couple of years receiving matches, that haven't appealed to me on the big ticket items. I have closed them out and some of the time learned I had had already been closed by them as well. But, there are many who stay in my list for months with no response.

[quote=Comedian;694820]
Notice that everyone who has posted on this thread is a woman. I think that means your original post is too judgmental. Quite a few guys are just circling the dance floor, but not all of them.



It's never safe to generalize about anyone. There are people in these threads who go a year without meeting anybody worthwhile, if at all!

You'd be far better off to look at what you do offer, rather than what somebody else doesn't! Focus on the positive. All that negative energy you put out is not going to call anything good to you.

And this is pink, because we're all girls here...
 
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digiedge is offline digiedge Post #9  August 3,2009, 12:51pm
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While I agree that the original post may be a bit judgmental, I also know where she's coming from. It is frustrating to get no response - not even a no - thanks. I am returning to eharmony - I've been taking a break - do men usually participate in these type of discussions or no matter what the original post - do they just not respond?
 
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DannyDix is offline DannyDix Post #10  August 4,2009, 10:49pm
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OK, I'm only a guy, but I was passing and read your post.

Here's the thing. Your profile sounds beaut..... You read the same genre of books as I...... you like to stay fit and healthy and you've got a wonderful mind. three gold stars.

If there's no cat involved here, have another star.

But flowers? Your avatar is a flower?

Guys are still cavemen under their suits. We basically still want to see who we are talking to before investing too much time.

Flowers frighten us because without a personal photo we could actually be chatting to Jabba the Hutt or my 78 year old Nan. (don't laugh....she won't give me her user name sooo....)

Lose the flowers, pop some lippy on and smile for the dickie-bird. With a nice photo your dance book will be bulging in no time.

Cheers,


Danny
(energy to burn)
 
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