TrulyLisa is offline TrulyLisa Post #1  February 13,2010, 8:51am
TrulyLisa's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Albuquerque

Posts: 10

See profile

Is it just me, or are most of the men our age looking to find younger, skinnier women? I have met some perfectly decent men, who have rejected a second look because I don't fit their ideals. Now, don't get me wrong, we are all entitled to stick to our ideals, but are they realistic? We were genetically engineered to gain some weight as we grow older; we also gain maturity and insight and intelligence as we grow older. OUr sense of humor has been tempered and shaped by a lifetime of coping with all life throws at us. We are like fine wines that only improve with age. What does a 47 year old man really have in common with a 20-something woman? And, again, is it just me?
 
  Reply With Quote
msmim is offline msmim Post #2  February 13,2010, 4:44pm
msmim's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Australia

Posts: 1

See profile

The perfect opener for a sit com.

An interesting topic, given recent events and observations it is apparent that relationships with those of similar age require a level of communication/commitment they no longer which to participate in.

The ego stroking of someone younger filled with energy & a keen ear to listen to all of their accomplishments & to a degree knowledge without derision is enough. Flexibility is important, men are great educators after all.

The fact that they're aging & seek to ensure someone is going to be fit and capable to care for them before they go to assisted care.
 
  Reply With Quote
Marcitrue is offline Marcitrue Post #3  February 15,2010, 9:35am
Marcitrue's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

FL Panhandle

Posts: 6

See profile

No it's not just you. I have run across it as well. I think our pop culture society is driving people to think they can stay young forever. Too many people, not just men are falling into that trap of wanting to be around the younger crowd, dress and act younger. It takes effort and a level of maturity to accept aging and so many people can't do it. In my more bitter moments I blame the baby boomer generation who are just ahead of me for setting this trend of forever wanting to hold on to their youth which in their mind was good times they can't let go of. Don't we all feel that way on some level, but time marches on.
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is offline richey Post #4  February 18,2010, 2:36pm
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,531

See profile

TrulyLisa wrote :
Is it just me, or are most of the men our age looking to find younger, skinnier women?
It's just you.

Just my philosophy as well ~ as much as we claim "age is just a number", that should also mean that we don't automatically conclude that a 20something and a 40something "can never have anything in common."

As a 39-41 yr old man, I've had a couple of 20something gf's. The age difference wasn't an issue. At the same time, I have also dated a 50+ person and my most recent gf was a 40something older than me. Again, age was not an issue.

Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
beaner is offline beaner Post #5  February 18,2010, 5:05pm
beaner's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

New Jersey

Posts: 69

See profile

I don't know what most men want. I have attracted nice men who I come into contact with, but I have not attracted anyone on e-harmony. I don't know if it's me (my profile, for example) or them. At this point, I don't care. When my plan expires so will my membership.
 
  Reply With Quote
AudioDad is offline AudioDad Post #6  February 19,2010, 3:52pm
AudioDad's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 751

See profile

TrulyLisa wrote :
Is it just me, or are most of the men our age looking to find younger, skinnier women? I have met some perfectly decent men, who have rejected a second look because I don't fit their ideals. Now, don't get me wrong, we are all entitled to stick to our ideals, but are they realistic? We were genetically engineered to gain some weight as we grow older; we also gain maturity and insight and intelligence as we grow older. OUr sense of humor has been tempered and shaped by a lifetime of coping with all life throws at us. We are like fine wines that only improve with age. What does a 47 year old man really have in common with a 20-something woman? And, again, is it just me?
"Most men?" Or do you perhaps mean most of the men you've come into contact with on an online dating service? Big difference. As for this 47 year old male, I'd personally have very little (if anything) in common with a 20-something woman. When I had an active profile on eH (and other sites), my age range was 40 to 50 years of age. I routinely got "winks" from women half my age or those in their 30's. I suspect the majority of these were scammers or foreigners looking for a ticket into the US (judging from the nearly indecipherable profiles). In any case, as much as you may feel that men have unrealistic ideals in a mate, my own experience has shown me that this isn't something exlusive to men.

Regardless, I think we all have to take care not to paint with such broad strokes when it comes to analyzing what "most" men/women want in a potential mate.
 
  Reply With Quote
Cobbler2 is offline Cobbler2 Post #7  February 26,2010, 3:37pm
Cobbler2's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 3

See profile

Hey beaner,

I just looked at your profile. I saw a lot of facts. You seem to be a well rounded and intelligent woman. But...If there was more in your own words I could get a better feel for who you are. I hope this helps. If not I'm sorry for being presumptuous.
 
  Reply With Quote
Cobbler2 is offline Cobbler2 Post #8  February 26,2010, 3:44pm
Cobbler2's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 3

See profile

As far as the "most men" want younger women comment. There is the stereo typical "midlife crises" guy who drives the sports car and chases younger women. Personally I feel sorry for him. Chasing our youth is a fools errand. I find wisdom gained through life experience is much sexier.
 
  Reply With Quote
bjg4jc is offline bjg4jc Post #9  March 29,2010, 5:23pm
bjg4jc's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 2

See profile

I agree with you. I can't seem to find anyone on eHarmony also within my age group and I am an attractive woman. When my contract is up I gone also. I wish you luck my friend.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  March 29,2010, 9:50pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

TrulyLisa wrote :
Is it just me, or are most of the men our age looking to find younger, skinnier women? I have met some perfectly decent men, who have rejected a second look because I don't fit their ideals. Now, don't get me wrong, we are all entitled to stick to our ideals, but are they realistic? We were genetically engineered to gain some weight as we grow older; we also gain maturity and insight and intelligence as we grow older. OUr sense of humor has been tempered and shaped by a lifetime of coping with all life throws at us. We are like fine wines that only improve with age. What does a 47 year old man really have in common with a 20-something woman? And, again, is it just me?
Wow....and this was even posted before the current 'Men....do you find women your own age attractive?' thread.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Hello, new and 40 something | 40 Something | Dating and SEX »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:57pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0