So is it possible to have a 'relationship' at mid-life??


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kyjohng is offline kyjohng Post #1  December 29,2009, 8:29am
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Hello All

Not wishing to be cynical or facetious, but how many of the middle aged people here really believe that we can still find/have/build a meaningful relationship at our age??

I ask based on my own experiences where the single women I meet, who are in my age group (I am 51), whether it be on EH or at singles events, really have no interest in a 'relationship'. Dating for a little while, sure, but beyond that, no desire for anything more substantial with anyone.

I realize that word 'relationship' has different meanings to different people and I also understand that "its complicated" at this stage of our life and that a certain amount of compromise is necessary for any 'relationship' but it does take two to dance so to speak.

So, have we become so 'jaded' by mid-life that we should just resign our selves to being alone with the occasional date thrown in here or there?

I am looking for some hope here so would appreciate other's viewpoints.

Thanks!
 
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Sunshine43 is offline Sunshine43 Post #2  December 29,2009, 4:39pm
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I try not to look at this stage as "midlife". I am hoping there is still plenty of time left and the best is yet to come. There are women out there in their 40's & 50's that want a relationship (myself included), but I think at this phase in life we are all a bit more cautious. By this time, we have all (men & women) had enough life experiences to make us not want to repeat some of the mistakes we made when we were younger and didn't know better. Don't give up, some of us are just being cautiously optimistic.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #3  December 29,2009, 7:42pm
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I wish I had some insight to this ... I share this concern... but here.

dating mid-life - Google Search

Dating at Midlife with Dr. Belove

Fundamental Truths about Women and Midlife Dating
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #4  December 29,2009, 8:04pm
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"Not wishing to be cynical or facetious, but how many of the middle aged people here really believe that we can still find/have/build a meaningful relationship at our age??"

If I didn't believe I could have a meaningful relationship, I wouldn't be trying so hard to meet people!

I think (especially if we've been in a relationship that we thought was going to be "to death do us part") that we are definitely more cautious the second (or third, or whatever) time around.

But we're still hoping...
 
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kyjohng is offline kyjohng Post #5  December 30,2009, 8:15am
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To Sunshine 43 as well ...

...cautiously optimistic I get ... we have all been 'burned' and don't want to make the same mistakes again ... That is only natural ... it is nice to know that there are some folks our age who really do want a LTR - granted, it doesn't happen overnight.

Thanks for the encouragement ....
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #6  December 30,2009, 11:48am
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kyjohng wrote :
it is nice to know that there are some folks our age who really do want a LTR - granted, it doesn't happen overnight..
I speculate that part of the problem is that many have never really had a healthy relationship in the first place so they can't really envision what it would be like.
 
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funforgotten is offline funforgotten Post #7  January 1,2010, 12:39am
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Hi, I am considering enering the relationship "game" after 19 months alone and a 21 year marriage. I live in hope that there might be someone out there for me again, but in the meantime look forward to making new friends too!

Maybe I am just being optomistic, but why not, so fill your life as much as you can, with people who matter in whatever shape or form!
 
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gunboy48 is offline gunboy48 Post #8  January 1,2010, 10:06am
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A mid life relationship? What is that? I am 61 and have had my name on most of these other sites and the ones who are answering me are the 25-33 y/o. I would like to find one nearer to my age but, can't. It would be hard for me to keep up with one in her 40's or 50s, let alone in her 20' or 30's. I don't know if this is my mid life or what it is to be called? A 61 year old man getting hit on by 20s and 30s year old girls.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #9  January 1,2010, 1:20pm
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gunboy48 wrote :
I am 61 and have had my name on most of these other sites and the ones who are answering me are the 25-33 y/o.
They're not interested in a relationship.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #10  January 1,2010, 5:17pm
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
I speculate that part of the problem is that many have never really had a healthy relationship in the first place so they can't really envision what it would be like.
Ding ding ding.

You'd think, after 25 some-odd years, I (who had excellent, very loving parents who are still together after 45 years) would have figured out what made a good relationship work. Nope. HOWEVER, that said, I finally figured out some places where I WAS going wrong, and am at the point now that I have a much clearer idea of not only who I am as a person, but what I want both out of a relationship and out of my partner. Better late then never, I guess!
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