jeeknx is offline jeeknx Post #1  August 7,2009, 8:21am
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I recently met a very nice man that I like. He gave me his number told me to call him, didn't ask for mine. We have been out twice so far, mutually had a great time. On both occasions I have called him. He seems laid back, afraid to move too quickly, that's fine. But just because he doesn't call, and I do does that necessarily mean he is not interested? He's expressed his interest but it seems confusing to me. Should I just ask him if he's interested? I personally prefer the guy to call, that way I know he's interested.

Has anyone else dated someone like this? They seem like they enjoy your company, but you have to initiate the call to get together? I get his laid back attitude but at what point do you just call it quits?
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  August 8,2009, 1:11pm
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Laid back attitude = lazy.

If you want him to make some effort in the relationship, make sure he's got your phone number (I'm guessing he already does from caller ID) and ask him to call you. If he doesn't, that's your answer.

After two dates that you initiated, there's no reason why he shouldn't pick up the slack and ask you for the next one.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  August 11,2009, 6:07am
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jeeknx wrote :
I recently met a very nice man that I like. He gave me his number told me to call him, didn't ask for mine.
when a guy does this he is not willing to put forth the effort to call you because you really dont do much for him. sure, he can have fun with you and might even like you, but my guess would be you are nothing special

these situations arent really salvageable beause he wasnt really interested in the first place.

i would find another guy to date
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #4  August 11,2009, 10:41am
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from a guy's perspective...

when i was younger (much younger)- i was VERY shy. if i did not call, it did not mean i was not interested. it just meant that the woman had to take more initiative. i really was not sure how to navigate the whole dating scene.

perhaps he is the same way? i do not know. but if you enjoy each other's company and get along well- i think two dates is too early to jetison him just because he MAY be socially backward.

just my 2 cents...
 
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Wendywoo is offline Wendywoo Post #5  August 12,2009, 11:28am
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I'm in a bit of the same situation. Only he never calls. Seems all our communication is thru chat. I've been seeing him for about 4 months and he is always happy to see me, tells me he's not seeing anyone else but, I almost always have to initiate our time together...it's very frustrating!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #6  August 12,2009, 6:06pm
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jeeknx wrote :
He gave me his number told me to call him, didn't ask for mine.
The last eH match that I met (several months ago) poofed after I did this. We had been emailing outside of eH, and at the end of the meeting I gave her a business card with my home number written on it. She took it and said thanks, but didn't offer hers in return. At the time, that didn't bother me. But when I sent her 3 followup emails over the next month, with no reply, I learned that I should have asked for her number in return - and if she didn't want to give it, I should have taken mine back and left her standing there.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  August 13,2009, 5:13am
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The movie "He's Just Not That Into You" covers this exact scenario really, really well.

I highly recommend watching it.
 
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Ziterrious is offline Ziterrious Post #8  August 13,2009, 11:57am
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jeeknx wrote :
I recently met a very nice man that I like. He gave me his number told me to call him, didn't ask for mine. We have been out twice so far, mutually had a great time. On both occasions I have called him. He seems laid back, afraid to move too quickly, that's fine. But just because he doesn't call, and I do does that necessarily mean he is not interested? He's expressed his interest but it seems confusing to me. Should I just ask him if he's interested? I personally prefer the guy to call, that way I know he's interested.

Has anyone else dated someone like this? They seem like they enjoy your company, but you have to initiate the call to get together? I get his laid back attitude but at what point do you just call it quits?
well i side with wonderwoman a bit and a lot with notyet on this. Its far to early in to declare a walk away.
i know I was that type of guy (years gone by) that gave out my number to a lady and never ask her for hers, but that was out of respect not because i was uninterested, if she wanted me to have it she would have given it to me and i never called her early on in the relationship for the same reason. but once the ground work was laid out (a few dates and or calls) I always asked if she minded if I call her sometime. So give it a bit longer if you both have a great time together as implied then it will happen.

however do be careful that your feelings are not out running your relationship, that you both truly feel the same way.
 
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