Ziterrious is offline Ziterrious Post #11  August 14,2009, 3:45pm
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Fit45 wrote :
Why do men claim they re "fit" when by their pictures they are clearly not! I am a personal trainer and have known many bodybuilders so let me tell you 5'11" and 235lbs is not fit unless you are about 4% body fat...(I had one guy describe himself as a slim 235 and 5'11"). Also, why would a guy say he only smokes about once year--then post a picture of himself...smoking!!! I've tried to be as straight-up and honest as I possibly could, but I get tons of matches who clearly have not been...
Well tis true a lie is a lie no mater the gender telling it. And it always creates issues on levels of Honesty, Integrity, and opens the door to trust issues, because what else are they lying about, if there lying about this what about something important, like cheating??.....

Once someone lies to me I have trust issues and although I'm tolerant and may over look somethings it still bothers me that someone I Love would think that little of me to Lie to me.

It reminds me of a little thing my mom use to do when I was young:

Now you know son if you lie you'll create a Spooooooook behind you. ( the little boy turns around and looks .... yep me ) Oh you can't see it hun, but one day it will sneak up on you annnnnnd GET YOU!!!!
 
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ricknventura is offline ricknventura Post #12  August 15,2009, 4:48pm
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FIT is really different from a personal trainers view to an average Joe or Josephine. I met one woman who was 10 years old and 150 pounds heavier than the picture she posted. Since then I print up the photo and bring it with me to the first meeting. If they are completely different than the picture I ask them about it.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #13  December 14,2009, 10:14pm
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Fit45 wrote :
Why do men claim they re "fit" when by their pictures they are clearly not!
Because they are stretching fit into 'healthy'. Do any of them claim they're "in shape"? Active, fit, healthy, all vague and equal.

As for running 5 miles and doing 50 push ups while being 50 lbs. overweight?... sure... when I was 20 and losing 100+ lbs. Not typical.
 
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Sunshine43 is offline Sunshine43 Post #14  December 30,2009, 1:55pm
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ricknventura wrote :
FIT is really different from a personal trainers view to an average Joe or Josephine. I met one woman who was 10 years old and 150 pounds heavier than the picture she posted. Since then I print up the photo and bring it with me to the first meeting. If they are completely different than the picture I ask them about it.
I once met a guy through match that had this type of experience. Before he would even meet me he insisted that I email him several pics. All the pics posted with my bio were current, but I complied anyway. The first time we spoke over the phone he questioned me about my appearance to the point I was ready to say forget meeting him. Against my better judgement, I met him. He showed up looking like he had just rolled out of bed wearing his clothes from the day before and about 40 lbs heavier than he appeared in his pics. I said, "Hello, see this is what I look like, goodbye." and I left.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #15  December 30,2009, 10:18pm
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Sunshine43 wrote :
The first time we spoke over the phone he questioned me about my appearance to the point I was ready to say forget meeting him.
Look, there's only one reasonable solution... hostage photos... You can post any picture you want in your profile and I will accept it as some mythical ideal. But if we talk and decide we want to meet I want you (and I will do the same) to take a photo of your head with a newspaper behind it. I don't care if it's one day or one week old but I think that's an extremely minor request to make and if some gal asked me to do that I would tell her 'Good for you! I will absolutely take that picture. Being smart earns my respect!"

If he/she refuses then there's just no reason to meet. You want to enter the dating world? Fine... me too... I will credentialize myself and I want someone willing to do the same. That request is about 1/10,000 of the effort I think a good relationship will endure in a 25 years span.
 
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Sunshine43 is offline Sunshine43 Post #16  December 31,2009, 8:22am
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
Look, there's only one reasonable solution... hostage photos... You can post any picture you want in your profile and I will accept it as some mythical ideal. But if we talk and decide we want to meet I want you (and I will do the same) to take a photo of your head with a newspaper behind it. I don't care if it's one day or one week old but I think that's an extremely minor request to make and if some gal asked me to do that I would tell her 'Good for you! I will absolutely take that picture. Being smart earns my respect!"

If he/she refuses then there's just no reason to meet. You want to enter the dating world? Fine... me too... I will credentialize myself and I want someone willing to do the same. That request is about 1/10,000 of the effort I think a good relationship will endure in a 25 years span.
Ouch!! I guess this is a sore subject for you?
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #17  December 31,2009, 3:55pm
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Sunshine43 wrote :
Ouch!! I guess this is a sore subject for you?
Not really. All I did was offer a possible solution.
 
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Sunshine43 is offline Sunshine43 Post #18  December 31,2009, 7:43pm
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I have an easier solution. Take the other person at their word, communicate with them, meet them. If their appearance is not acceptable to you, don't pursue a relationship.

The guy in my little story literally harrassed me about my appearance. He had no reason to feel that I way lying, yet for some reason he felt I deserved to be treated that way. I can't help it that a previous match used an old photo. Not my problem. In the end, it turned out he was the one with the honesty problem as his appearance did not match his photo. Because of his obsession with appearance, he missed out on getting to know me.

His loss................
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #19  January 1,2010, 6:19pm
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Sunshine43 wrote :
I have an easier solution. Take the other person at their word, communicate with them, meet them. If their appearance is not acceptable to you, don't pursue a relationship.

The guy in my little story literally harrassed me about my appearance. He had no reason to feel that I way lying, yet for some reason he felt I deserved to be treated that way. I can't help it that a previous match used an old photo. Not my problem. In the end, it turned out he was the one with the honesty problem as his appearance did not match his photo. Because of his obsession with appearance, he missed out on getting to know me.

His loss................
Actually, it sounds like he was so worried about someone doing what HE was doing that he projected it to the point of overkill. Btw, you had a lot more tact than I would have had.
 
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tlc4kids is offline tlc4kids Post #20  January 1,2010, 8:00pm
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This is so true with men and women. It is one of the reasons I am so cautious about dating online. I mean sometimes you may have the dilemma of putting if you are slim or fit on your profile because everyone has a different definition of what slim or fit means. But come on, when you are 5"11 and 235 lbs, I'm sorry there is no slim or fit in that ! ha Its frustrating. I just want to meet someone that is honest and doesn't play games. That is difficult enough these days!
 
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