olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #21  July 5,2009, 4:19pm
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rbel wrote :
So, what causes a guy to sign up on EH when they aren't ready? I just don't get it. Is it a whim or what?
Ummm ... weeds out the 47year old females who still want to have kids?

My favorite question (cant remember is one of those pre written or something I combined/made up, cheating by slipping 2 questions in one question box): Why are you single? What do you expect of EH?My answers (abridged): I got married far to quick for wrong reasons :still in recovery of TBI (google it, watch some videos, you'll get idea, but don't even think of bringing up "sorry"... it got rid of my inhibition (can you tell?) and released me to be who I am) "fog", but desperately wanted kids, proposed to 3rd girl I had been with, proposed after 2 months, stuck with it 12 years. I still have issues (primarliy memory/processing) and make sure they are known. What do I expect: Nothing (was kind of trick question). What do I want: reassurance that there is an incredible pool is intelligent fun exciting daring women out there. Am I looking to get married again? HE!! NO! If I do find an incredible person and things work that way , absolutely (note: currently seriously dating one incredible girl (was introduced to her close friends at party last night as "her boyfriend"... WA HOOOOO!!!!!!!, all matches "closed" not accepting any at this time, and if things go that way, ever again, but am not shoppng for a ring (yet)).

So short answer: I don't think anyone is "ready" untill they have met and really gotten to know someone. Those who are looking for commitment are setting themselves up for failure. Those who think they know exactly what they want need to look up the word "change"... it happens, deal with it.
 
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FengShuiBlackBelt is offline FengShuiBlackBelt Post #22  July 12,2009, 7:27am
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azizasafiya wrote :
ahem, there are plenty of free/fishy site for that. I thought this was for the serious folks. guess you got money to burn or it is what we say we are all trying to avoid, cruising.

It appears that online dating sites have become what bars once were. it is very sad because many of us are honestly ready but are forced to weed through the ones that are either just looking or just in it for sex.
My sentiments exactly. I joined eHarmony on the assumption that people who are willing to pay for the service must be serious about finding a life partner.
 
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Stevereno is offline Stevereno Post #23  July 13,2009, 11:34am
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I would agree with both sides here. I have been on my search now for a couple months. Prior to that I was actively looking while my current partner was still in the house! Apalled are you? She wouldnt leave! We were reduced to very little communicating, she slept in another room. This is over months of time! I asked her to leave many times, telling her we had grown apart and neither of us was happy. I ask ed her all the time 'why r u still here?' She continued to stay! Even when sh eknew I was looking. Was I ready? I didnt know, but th eactual looking gave me hope of a better day and woman! Aside from being very picky who I will date especially now(glad I started early). There is a lot of people on dating sites that shouldnt be. A fix? Maybe it will only be for the financially fit due to extensive pre-qual criterias. That just complicates an all ready complicated situation for the true single searcher! In my few months and several sites I have maybe 3 gals I went on dates with and tons of liars, posers, cheaters, etc.. very frusterating and the one gal was right in now the bar scene sounds inviting again. How pathetic is that?
 
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drwill911 is offline drwill911 Post #24  July 18,2009, 10:47pm
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rbel wrote :
So, what causes a guy to sign up on EH when they aren't ready? I just don't get it. Is it a whim or what?
It's the same reason women go shopping without having any money or not intending to buy anything. They are just looking to see what is available for the time when they are ready to buy.
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #25  July 22,2009, 6:31pm
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Because sometimes you don't know if you are ready or not until you DO try.
 
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Ziterrious is offline Ziterrious Post #26  August 14,2009, 4:30pm
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rbel wrote :
So, what causes a guy to sign up on EH when they aren't ready? I just don't get it. Is it a whim or what?
Well rbel, I'm a guy so here's my thoughts.

I'm slighted a tad bit there by your generalization in your Question, it seems that you should have directed it to the man that jilted you with those words. Although I am new to this site ( and a bit discouraged with a lot that I read ) I was very sincere about seeking a meaningful relationship, (notice the word was?? ) now I believe I might be a bit to cautious for this site to work for me, because I will not renew my subscription and I believe that the odds are against me in finding that meaningful relationship in the current alloted time frame ( based on what I read in another post )

I believe that several people already gave you the correct assessment that it was simply an improper let down and poorly used at that. However look at the bright side, why would you want a man that finds it difficult to express what he really feels......If you chase after a man like that and you catch him what will you do when you stop to think, I wonder what he's really feeling....
 
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Mugsy is offline Mugsy Post #27  October 10,2009, 1:05am
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I think when you meet someone and they tell you that they "aren't ready to date," what they're really saying is that they "aren't ready to date YOU." It's kind of a gracious way out.

On the other hand, a person might think they're ready to date again, but then when they give it a try they may honestly discover that they're not ready after all.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #28  December 18,2009, 11:50am
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This is the best topic ever... the instant I read that first message from rbel I wondered what the chances were this person who never even post again... sure enough... none.

rbel! WHY DO YOU CREATE A TOPIC WHEN YOU'RE NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT IT!
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #29  December 18,2009, 11:50am
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Icouldwriteabook wrote :
Because sometimes you don't know if you are ready or not until you DO try.
hehe... seems pretty simple doesn't it!
 
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flavorful is offline flavorful Post #30  December 30,2009, 9:48am
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I can only answer for myself but I'm sure there are plenty of men who would agree with what I am saying (and many more who do not). I joined eH with the feeling that this would hopefully be a great way to meet someone that I might not ever meet otherwise, while not counting on eH as my only way of meeting people and still living in the real world. I have been a member for a while now. I would love to meet a woman on this site, by receiving a matched profile I've got a good idea that this woman will be a lot like me, compatible with me. Until recently most of the matches sent to me just haven't had that extra "something" needed to really spark my interest. Honestly, either I haven't been physically attracted to the person, they wouldn't share any photos, or comments made in thier profile were a turn off. A lot of women that I have sent communication to haven't been interested in me for probably the same reasons. I too have experienced the phenomena of getting to open comminication and having the woman never respond, lost in space. I think it holds for both men and women that many are excited about the guided communication and think its fun but then when they actually have to communicate with the other person they back off, maybe they're nervous or maybe they just really don't want to get involved with anyone. Too bad for those of us who would really like to meet someone. I haven't given up on finding that special someone, whether on eH or bumping into her on the street. There are a lot of nuts out there, men and women, and they all have thier own nutty reasons for messing around on this site.
 
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