DelilaB is offline DelilaB Post #41  March 13,2009, 7:25pm
DelilaB's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 1

See profile



As a woman, I like to make the first move. It'sthe thrill of the chase for me as a women.I love to flirt & be the center of attention. I go after what I want.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #42  March 13,2009, 7:43pm
Ingytravel's Avatar

Hoping for a bit of snow:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 7,010

See profile



I love it when the guy makes the first move...call me old fashioned...LOL...But I love the chivalrous things like opening the car door, giving his coat if I am cold, etc...I am completely happy to and will absolutely show my interest back when I like the man, and will be honest if "I'm not just that in to you"....and hope that the guy would do the same...No biggie...on to the next adventure...


But for me, especially on EH, I wait until the guy has sent the initial contact...
 
  Reply With Quote
vlnman is offline vlnman Post #43  March 21,2009, 12:13pm
vlnman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

Dayton, OH

Posts: 150

See profile



Ironically I happened to read this after meeting a terrific woman last night...not from EH though. Regardless I would have never contacted her based on her profile...she rather specifically was looking for someonewhose children were grown and gone. She however sent me a briefone sentence email....we ended up chatting a few times and thenmet for dinner last night...spent 3 hours together..hit it off well...and will be getting together again next weekend.I'm far from shy and not afraid to initiate contact...butthis would have been a missed opportunity had she not taken the initiative
 
  Reply With Quote
777nom is offline 777nom Post #44  March 27,2009, 9:02pm

saying goodbye.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 170

See profile



I definitely think men should make the first move.I've been so busy with my teaching career and my ownchildren that all of a sudden I'm 41! I'm 41 and I haven't gone out of this country. People call me mamn! I don't have any friends or social clubs. I certainly don't have any boyfriends. Honestly, it's not because I'm lazy or antisocial. It's just for the past couple of years, my life has been a whirlwind! My children are at an age now where I feel comfortable leaving them at home so I can go to a nearby watering hole. There Iobserve how adults interact. I feel awkward because I walk in alone and I feel like everyone is staring at me. I'm not about to go up to a table of people and start talking. I don't know what men are out with their friends and what men would like to talk. I don't know who is married. So,My objective for being thereis to spot out people my age and observe how they interact. I've been lucky because almost always a guy has initiated contact and I'm always gratefulbecause no matter how far over my head their experiences have been, I always learn a ton of cool things about people and life.The only problem is that expectations/assumptions have changed since I was in college. Some people are what my students call "fast." I think this is a good topic. Thanks
 
  Reply With Quote
777nom is offline 777nom Post #45  March 27,2009, 9:14pm

saying goodbye.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 170

See profile



It's me again. I wrote before I read. As far as EH and making the first move, I'm getting an inclination that I shouldn't even send an Ice Breaker! I'm the type of person that likes to stir things up. I hate stagnation. Logging on and seeing the same thing everyday is a drag so I initiate but one time I read a profile and actually got butterflies. I was so wanting to share with that person how I felt that I went ahead and "fast-tracked" an E-rated message. He closed communication the next day and I was sad for a minute. Oh well -What is it they're saying now? Oh! NEXT!
 
  Reply With Quote
clsnscottsdale is offline clsnscottsdale Post #46  April 25,2009, 11:47am
clsnscottsdal…'s Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Scottsdale, Arizona

Posts: 2

See profile



As my first post to this board which, by the way I accidently found (wish they would make it more obvious!), Ihave to admit I wait for a guy to make the first move. I think it is a bit generational, as my 13 year old daughter says is 'totally stupid' not to make the first move.


I may make a bold move and try initiating the relationship. . .who knows what I may be missing . . .
 
  Reply With Quote
inn is offline inn Post #47  April 28,2009, 11:26pm
inn's Avatar

is getting ready to travel again!

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2009

California

Posts: 490

See profile



I had always thought men should make the first move. I braved it with 1 of my matches andintiated contact.After GC I offered my phone number and he called. Since this is turning out to be a pen pal situation, I will not intiate a date.So, in this case he has to make the next move. I'm from the old school and will not ask him out.
 
  Reply With Quote
bythelake is offline bythelake Post #48  April 29,2009, 8:05pm
bythelake's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

California

Posts: 1

See profile



I'm new here and to eH as well. I'd like to share one of my favorite quotes with everyone. "Even if the answer is no you are no worse off than you would have been had you not asked the question."I feel bad for guys. They get shot down 99% of the time.If you want to know how it feels consider asking someoneout. You don't have to go throughwith it but at least you'll get an idea of what they go through. Having said that, I certainly prefera man to make the first move butif I recognize that he is very shy I will ask him out. If he is shocked and appaled by that he probably is not a good match for me.
 
  Reply With Quote
jleen is offline jleen Post #49  July 5,2009, 12:45pm
jleen's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

toronto

Posts: 12

See profile

Personally - I think it is a mistake for a woman to make the first move - in person (especially) and even on line. Even if they do start to date - I think that one some level the guy will not fully appreciate this woman - or he will remain smug about the fact that she approached him.
My ex-boyfriend (who I recently broke up with because he was a real JERK)... was an example of a guy who was smug/pompous. He ALWAYS managed to mention that his ex-wife APPROACHED him!
I don't think that all men are jerks - but they do remember these things and I think it is important. Jleen.
 
  Reply With Quote
jomarie is offline jomarie Post #50  July 11,2009, 9:34pm
jomarie's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 191

See profile

jayhawkgirl wrote :
Yes, I think the guy needs to make the first move. From my experience it sets the tone for the whole relationship. (Not saying this is right or that it should be this way; it'sjust how it seems to work.)
ditto!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Dating statics Anyone interested? | 40 Something | Ratio: Men : Women on eHarmony »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:38pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0