sundaegirl1967 is offline sundaegirl1967 Post #11  October 20,2008, 1:32am
sundaegirl196…'s Avatar

is putting another log on the fire...damn it's nippy.

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2008

Earth

Posts: 72

See profile

Absolutely, the man needs to make the first move.
 
  Reply With Quote
luckysunday is offline luckysunday Post #12  October 20,2008, 7:01pm
luckysunday's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

NS Canada

Posts: 6

See profile

zenmerlin, wrote :
I am posting this here because I am interested in what people in this age group think.
I tend to be somewhat shy; I tend to be a good listener. Ok here it is we are at an online dating site I’m not sure what the rules are. Personally I would be very flattered and open to have a woman take some interest in me and start the ball rolling.
So I am wondering do women feel comfortable taking the first step?
As I was writing this I had the idea that I am shy, my match is shy how will we ever meet??????
Cupid help, please intervene.
If I really like someones profile, I would do the first move. I think, that you can always wingetting to know someone, even if it's not a "match". ( like there is nothing wrong with your profile, so I probably would contact you first). If I feel the guy has really high expectations or is totally into sports (or something else) and I am not, I see if he contacts me first, because I would like to know if someone could picture himself with a partner who is different from his expectations. If people don't do anything for a few weeks, I might send an icebreaker. If their profile contains only minimal information, I wait , too, to see if they are actual able to talk more. If they don't respond, I close them- no point in keeping a long list.


Just remember- what do you have to loose? Life is all about relationship to people.
 
  Reply With Quote
txgrl63 is offline txgrl63 Post #13  October 21,2008, 9:10am
txgrl63's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2008

North Texas

Posts: 18

See profile

zana,299611 wrote :

My response was for real life...


On the net, I have no problem making the first move... as Peg099 says -- you have nothing to lose anyway, as you dont really know the person and they dont know you... the rejection isnt so bad as it is in real life :P
I guess I am in the minority too. I have no problem initiating contact on Eharmony. If I think a match is someone I might be interested in I am not going to sit there and hope they notice me first. I am paying for my account and what is the worst thing that could happen? They close you out or ignore you. Big deal!


In real life there is no way I would make the first move!
 
  Reply With Quote
talldrinkowater is offline talldrinkowater Post #14  October 22,2008, 1:22am
talldrinkowat…'s Avatar

I just want your extra time and your......kiss

Enthusiast

Joined: Sep 2008

TN

Posts: 580

See profile



I am in the definite minority...I would make the first move on a dating site (I paid money, too), and I would make the first move in "real life." However, only doing the latter if I had a clear indication there was a good chance (have I caught him staring at me several times).
 
  Reply With Quote
PhilWoch is offline PhilWoch Post #15  October 22,2008, 3:18am
PhilWoch's Avatar

Is trying to cut down on eHA , period.

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Phoenix

Posts: 97

See profile



On eHarmony I am flattered when she makes the first move. In real life I need to be the one to make it. That's one reason I've never dated.
 
  Reply With Quote
lada is offline lada Post #16  October 22,2008, 12:04pm
lada's Avatar

hello? hello? ios this fphone still working?

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

way out there

Posts: 1,926

See profile



I'd like to think it didn't matter. but since I don't move, and neither do they, the line is unchanged. I think it is more apathy on my part.
 
  Reply With Quote
accordiana is offline accordiana Post #17  October 22,2008, 10:04pm
accordiana's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2008

Michigan

Posts: 16

See profile



I think everyone likes for someone to be interested enough to initiate contact. Some men have posted that they want a woman to initiate so that they know she's interested; and some women post that they will NOT initiate. So, how are they supposed to meet?


I initiated all but about 5 times on eHarmony; never met anyone in person in 3 months. On another site, several men contacted me first, and I've met 3 of them in about a month. I personally feel fine with initiating, and probably wouldn't be interested in a man if that bothered him, but we all need to do what's comfortable for us.


In real life, I asked a coworker with whom I had been chatting for a couple of months if he wanted to go to a movie (just friendly-like), and he stopped talking to me for SIX WEEKS!! A year later he said that he didn't like "pushy women." So I guess you ask at your own risk! (Of course, that's always true.) That guy and I are actually pretty good friends, now.
 
  Reply With Quote
goldenpup2000 is offline goldenpup2000 Post #18  October 24,2008, 10:46pm
goldenpup2000's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2008

Maine

Posts: 147

See profile



I have a hard time initiating comunication as well, but if we both sit there and are interested in each other, and we are both afraid that the other one might not be interested, how are we suppsed to get to know each other if one of us doesn't step up to the plate and say something?
 
  Reply With Quote
JewelinHiscrown is offline JewelinHiscrown Post #19  October 25,2008, 2:12pm
JewelinHiscro…'s Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Kansas City , MO.

Posts: 379

See profile

zenmerlin, wrote :
I am posting this here because I am interested in what people in this age group think.
I tend to be somewhat shy; I tend to be a good listener. Ok here it is we are at an online dating site I’m not sure what the rules are. Personally I would be very flattered and open to have a woman take some interest in me and start the ball rolling.
So I am wondering do women feel comfortable taking the first step?
As I was writing this I had the idea that I am shy, my match is shy how will we ever meet??????
Cupid help, please intervene.
LOL!- welcome to the group, and, the 'odds' are in your favor zenmerlin, there are at LEAST twice as many women on here then men, however, I have met (literally also) a 'shy guy" from the chat room....he had posted a topic not even related to relationships, but that of past experiences in the armed services, I responded to his post, and, lets say, the rest, is 'history'....its actually when you STOP 'looking' that you 'find'...I always HATED hearing that, but, ironically, its very true....Far and I have been with each other now for 3 months and even though we live 5 hours away from each othr, things are awsome.....being 'shy' can be enduring, and I'm sure there is a woman who will bring you out of your 'shell' as well.... not sure about all the woman 'talkers' on this board that will compensate for your lack of conversation, but there certainly are a lot of woman who have OPINIONS here...LOL- good luck, and have FUN!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
DeborahRNinSC is offline DeborahRNinSC Post #20  November 18,2008, 9:36am
DeborahRNinSC's Avatar

is optimistic!

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2008

Simpsonville, SC

Posts: 5

See profile



With me, absolutely! I want a man who is attracted to me and has enough courage to initiate contact with me. I'm not afraid to approach a man but have learned that things go much smoother if it's his idea. Just my opinion!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Dating statics Anyone interested? | 40 Something | Ratio: Men : Women on eHarmony »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:38pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0