faesome is offline faesome Post #1  May 25,2009, 4:45am
faesome's Avatar

is at work.

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

canada

Posts: 6

See profile

Hi,
is it possible to love one guy and really like the other? one is 32 whom I like, he is so kind, considerate, romantic in his own way...the other guy is 40 ...and has alot of unresloved issues in his life regarding an ex, family, morals, values, and is never consisted with anything. Both men are living in different provinces...I have met one already the 40 yr old....and there are alot of problems.. Any advice would be great
 
  Reply With Quote
JoeAlex440 is offline JoeAlex440 Post #2  June 4,2009, 7:34pm
JoeAlex440's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

North Bergen, NJ

Posts: 16

See profile

Hi Faesome

What I would do in a situation like that to be honest with you is to not get involved with the one that has all those problems. The reality is that it may get worse. And at the age of 40 if he hasn't been able to resolve some of those issues by now may be a sign. And do you really want to start a relationship with dark clouds hanging over.
There is this saying that goes...."It's better to be alone, than to be with bad company".
 
  Reply With Quote
ThaddeusJohn is offline ThaddeusJohn Post #3  June 4,2009, 10:59pm

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Chicago

Posts: 18

See profile

faesome, try going to the group, "Red Flag Central" if ya can't figure this one out. They're great there at Red Flag!

The big pic here is that you like a 32 y/o guy that is so kind, considerate and somewhat romantic. This scenario can easily become one of Love, respect and romance.

The other guy is a "trainwreck".

Dearheart, do you really need advice about this situation?

Best of Everything for YOU, faesome!
 
  Reply With Quote
Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #4  June 9,2009, 1:42pm
Lisa4fellowsh…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: May 2009

Iowa

Posts: 116

See profile

I agree with Thadeouse. You sound to me like you already know the answere to your question. Your just second guessing yourself. Plus, it's ok if neither of these men are right for you beyond freindship. You'll keep your own peace of mind, and your life in tact. Anyone at the age of 40 who hasn't been self motivated enough to recognise and resolve his personal issues, isn't living healthy even by himself, so why would you expect him to be capable of having a healthy relationship with you?

Your in the habit of taking responsibility for your emotional, and relational health, and that enables you to recognise someone who isn't. You cant do it for him, so pray for him and keep your life in peace.
 
  Reply With Quote
gully is offline gully Post #5  June 18,2009, 5:23pm
gully's Avatar

would say Rock on.

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

dallas, tex and east tex.

Posts: 15

See profile


My advice about the fellow who has issues and is obviously the most interesting (translate: dangerous, bad boy) is that the lady should run. Run. Run. Unless, of course, a life of chaos is what you want. In which case, good luck and God bless.
gully belle
 
  Reply With Quote
cooltattoos is offline cooltattoos Post #6  July 2,2009, 10:03am
cooltattoos's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

Dear Faesome,

I was crusing the Advice page and read "Whats The Big Picture Here". I can tell you from the loud voice of experience, I know where you're at. My wife and I faced similar issues as the 40 year old you're referring to. We helped each other through our issues with counsiling and with much love and understanding toward each other. It requires a lot of love, understanding, committment and dedication to one another in order to succeed. But the reward is, that for my wife and I, we believe that our love and devotion for each another is not of this world, it's supernatural!

If you don't think the 40 year old is worth the time and effort required, you'll never know if the reward was worth the risk.

I pray you choose wisely and don't miss a blessing in disguise. God often works in Mysterious Ways. I pray He works in your life.
Cooltattoos!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« eharmony said i didnt fall into any of their profiles for matching me with a man | 40 plus singles | Do I post my ACTUAL age? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
What do you do if a newly posted picture looks nothing like the others? Mybella Using eHarmony 17 May 3,2011 2:49pm
Our Group Picture and Dark Matter DennisWisconsin Atheists, Humorists, and Science 18 May 22,2009 12:40pm
What's wrong with this picture? corky44 AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 27 May 16,2009 9:31am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“He broke up...The best way to stay hung-up is to keep dwelling,wishing, hoping, reminiscing....Like staring at an empty bottle of booze when you are trying to quit drinking. Rather than focus on a ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“Oh how annoying - I had typed a HUGE post prompted by TheThinker's query as to why I would think it a good idea to wait 5-10 years to date/or until children are out of the house. I am too annoyed to ... ” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“This is very true. If someone has a truly old /outdated account since the questionnaire was altered then it's a decent solution. It's become an urban legend on eHA that this is a good idea. Mostly ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Shared interests and ones who are laddetts for mine.” –  ian80au

Join the “Green Flags in Profiles” discussion

“Completely cancel /delete your existing account. That will also cancel /delete all long-dead, geographically irrelevant matches. Since you are in a new area it's silly to use an old /outdated ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Removing old matches - there has to be a better way” discussion

“I'm very sorry for your loss, Suzanne. It's not surprising you're feeling confused and making some memory errors. That happened to me too when my mother died. Life just isn't normal for awhile. ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“I am closing this thread since the Original Poster (OP) was asking about the eHarmony of 2-1/2 years ago -- the thread is old (see date in the upper right of the first post). Some responses will no ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“Thanks for your advice guys, really helps out. I guess everything is a matter of balance, which isn't something that I can work out right now. I think I will focus on school for the remaining 3 years ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:44am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0