claire09 is offline claire09 Post #1  October 29,2009, 7:07pm
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Hi everyone,

I'm thirty something and still single. LOL. I feel like I just joined shoppers anonymous, Hello my name is Claire and I am a spinster. LOL.

Anyway, I've been doing the online dating seriously for about 4 months now (Eharmony for 2) and so far no luck. Its tough but I am attempting to stay optimistic. I met a guy with some potential and we are supposed to go out next week. Question, we spoke on the phone for the first time yesterday and we agreed to go out this coming Tuesday. I didn't want to talk to him that much on the phone, because I like to really engage people in person.

I only plan to call him (if he doesn't call first) the night before just to confirm everything. Should I call him back before then, or just leave it be since we have already set up a date?

I've found, not sure about anyone else's experience that men seem to like talking on email and on the phone but when it comes to actually meeting, nothing happens. Outside of the guy that I am going out with Tuesday, the 3 other potentials have not asked me out. What's that about?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #2  October 30,2009, 12:03pm

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Dear claire09,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice and our Singles site!

I will leave it up to our sage members to provide advice/feedback on your upcoming date and what may be going on with the matches who have not asked you out yet.

But I did want to share some information that will hopefully help you remain positive during your eHarmony search and find the Love of your Life!

Even on eHarmony, finding The One takes time. While every member's experience is unique, on average, successfully-matched members dedicated 3-6 months to their search before receiving that special match.

We know it is difficult to be patient, but like any important goal, patience, perseverance, and the willingness to experience the emotional ups and downs are often required to be successful.

However, there are certainly things a member can do to improve their chances of finding The One and finding him/her sooner than later. That is why Kate and I both wrote our 5 Tips to having a positive eHarmony experience:

http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2448
http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2446

Also, since you are about to have your first eHarmony date (by the way, congratulations!), we want it to be safe and successful. So I encourage you to review our first date Dos and Don'ts: http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips

I wish you all the best with your search and hope you will let us know how your date went.

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; October 30,2009 at 12:05pm.
 
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2perfection is offline 2perfection Post #3  November 14,2009, 7:45am
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Ever heard of Texting? that what you should do, coz it gives people time to think and answer without putting them on the spot!
 
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claire09 is offline claire09 Post #4  November 19,2009, 8:43am
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2perfection wrote :
Ever heard of Texting? that what you should do, coz it gives people time to think and answer without putting them on the spot!
Thanks for the advice, but good thing is he called me to confirm the plans. So, that worked out. We go one a third date this Saturday so, so far things are going well. But, about the texting thing I personally think its a bit childish and wayyyy over used. I don't even have text on my phone because I know for many men it becomes a comfort zone. I find email to be the same in many respects. But at least with email, you have to be planted somewhere stationery, whereas text you can be anywhere and it just becomes more frequent and impersonal.

In my experience, I value a man more when he takes the time to call me and ask me out, or call to cancel, etc. Texting me is a NO. NO. Because what it says is that I am a coward and am afraid to confront the situation. If I have to change some of my ways in order to make dating succesful, and come out of my comfort zone then so should he. Its about getting to know one another, not AT&T.
 
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2perfection is offline 2perfection Post #5  November 21,2009, 9:52pm
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well, youre right, But in my experience, the more sweeter i was, the more i wasnt attractive, so unfortunately its the women that made me cold!

I am happy to hear about your progress though!
 
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Dreamer1972 is offline Dreamer1972 Post #6  November 30,2009, 3:07pm
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I agree with claire09. Texting is a big no no when setting first, or second, or 3rd, etc. date. I feel that texting is impersonal and that the person is not serious about meeting that someone special and taking it lightly. Same goes for instant messaging.
 
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