dragonfly09 is offline dragonfly09 Post #1  August 3,2009, 10:13am
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Just curious if anyone else has had the "I'm not ready for a relationship" experience? I was dating a great guy I met on eharmony, we had a lot in common, things were going wonderful, then he tells me today that he's "not ready for dating or a relationship." What is the deal with this?
 
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Klueless is offline Klueless Post #2  September 10,2009, 3:10pm
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is aptly named, usually

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I've had girls (women/females/whatever) say the same thing to me. I never can understand why they'd go to the trouble to be on a dating site, go on dates, even exclusively, then "not be ready for a relationship". Isn't exclusive dating A relationship? It's annoying... I'd far prefer to be turned down (much as that sucks), and have people accept only when they're in the right frame of mind for dating and connecting.

Side note: if they don't want to be in a relationship with ME, that's one thing. A relationship AT ALL, is quite another.
 
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claire09 is offline claire09 Post #3  October 29,2009, 7:16pm
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dragonfly09 wrote :
Just curious if anyone else has had the "I'm not ready for a relationship" experience? I was dating a great guy I met on eharmony, we had a lot in common, things were going wonderful, then he tells me today that he's "not ready for dating or a relationship." What is the deal with this?
What he's saying is that he is not ready for a relationship with you. I consider myself an attractive, engaging person but I am finding that men have very unrealistic goals about who they want to date. If you are attractive, nice, engaging, goal oriented, they feel if I can get her then I can do better. of course they find out that this isn't but by then its too late.

I am finding that eharmony sends you so many matches per day because its a numbers game. Out of the 100 or so men sent, only a small percentage will engage you. A smaller percentage will communicate and even a smaller amount will actually meet you. Then once you get to that stage because there are so many other singles out there a smaller amount will want to date exclusively and so you get that "dont want a serious relationship speech".

Its about a mans maturity. Unfortunately, in this easy access, instant gratification society. Men and women don't want to take things slowly and do the work to build a relationship. As soon as the next person comes along you become old news. I just try to stay positive and continue to enjoy the process. Eventually, someone will be ready for you.
 
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evesarmor is offline evesarmor Post #4  January 28,2010, 4:38pm
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Yeah, that's just an excuse. People are magnets towards each other or they are not.
 
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