ElissaMay is offline ElissaMay Post #1  August 26,2009, 4:20pm
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So, I'm 26 years old and I am starting to get a little discouraged on the whole meeting "the one" idea. I have a lot of friends who are married with kids and everything and I am starting to have my doubts. Yes, I am still young, I know this, but I am so busy with work and school, I don't ever go out. Besides, I am kind of over the whole bar scene anways. I have also told myself that I do not want to meet my future husband in a bar, ya know? I figured that EHarmony might be the way to go, but I don't know. Does anyone else feel this way???
 
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CharlieV1 is offline CharlieV1 Post #2  August 29,2009, 9:02am
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I think we are still young. My dad was 34 when he met my mother at 25 she was 16 when he was 25. They were married 27 years. If there is a one for us we need to be patient for us to be ready when they come in our lives. Which is hard for me to be patient. Not that we have a choice with our busy lives. Its good that we are busy so that we can be in my case financially stable I am hoping for full time in the next year. Even if that doesn't happen I'll earn more each year I work. Not that the guy needs to be rich in this day in age but I feel that I need to keep my home for her and the future family. I am looking to date but there is that feeling that I won't meet her until its the right time.
 
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w_elissa is offline w_elissa Post #3  August 30,2009, 12:20pm
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To both comments,
I think men and women think different about the time issue for finding the right one because instictually women have the child issue. Even if it isn't a verbalized, I think there is something to the biological clock people talk about women having. I have found most of my better relationships from online dating sites, but I think it is less to do with the site and more to do with the sheer amount of people you can access and the idea that they are sober the first time you go out. So if you are getting tired of bars and such give it a go. It can't hurt.
As for you dad finding your mom at 34, and her being 25 that is great for them. However, I know that I couldn't go for someone that much older than myself because of its implications down the line. Women tend to live longer than men, and I come from a line of long living, active, adventurious women and would worry that as we age he wouldn't be able to keep going as much as I would like.
 
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CharlieV1 is offline CharlieV1 Post #4  August 30,2009, 2:35pm
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she went first in my case but yea i worry too I search half my life for someone I wouldn't want to leave them or I'd have that fear of her going first. But probably will anyway just because of what happened in my past. I'd rather find her while I'm younger so we have time to live and grow together.
 
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tom1385 is offline tom1385 Post #5  August 31,2009, 5:21pm
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Don't spend your money on a useless eHarmony account.

Go sign up for a school or gym membership in a nice location. Not only do you get fit and look better, but you can meet guys in the process. Not through the useless pool of eharmony.

Just go around to the weight lifting section, do the very light weights, and ask guys for help.

I hate approaching girls at a gym, because sometimes they give me this weird look like "what the hell are you doing". Bars are so much easier, although the quality of girl you are looking for isn't so great. At least you know they are there to look for someone. But it is much easier for a girl to approach a guy to ask for help at a gym, even if you know how to use the weights, guys will be more than ready to help. And if you start going to other areas, and guys know that you are new, they may rush over to help you if they like you.

You have to be wary though, there are a lot of muscle bound idiots there that just lift weights to get laid more on the weekends. So use your best judgment.
 
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tom1385 is offline tom1385 Post #6  August 31,2009, 5:54pm
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My first post was moderated.


Spend the money from the eH site to get a gym membership instead. This way you can stay fit, healthy and meet new guys. Try to go to a school gym or a good neighborhood, you don't want to go to a meat head neighborhood.

It may seem a bit daunting, but I think the gym is a much easier place for girls to approach guys. Sometimes girls just give you that dirty eye and go "WTF are doing, go away, I'm sweaty!".

So you can just go to the weights, ask some guy you think is attractive for help, and just chat. If other guys see you need help, and they think you are attractive, they'll help as well. The ratio of guys to girls in the weight area is huge, so you'll have some good luck there.

Most guys that go there just stand around and talk anyways. And most guys that look like they are working hard, just do it to meet girls.

Just be wary, guys that usually go there all the time are either athletes or players trying to buff up for the weekend to get laid.
Last edited by tom1385; August 31,2009 at 5:58pm.
 
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w_elissa is offline w_elissa Post #7  September 4,2009, 5:55pm
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tom1385 wrote :
Don't spend your money on a useless eHarmony account.

Go sign up for a school or gym membership in a nice location. Not only do you get fit and look better, but you can meet guys in the process. Not through the useless pool of eharmony.

Just go around to the weight lifting section, do the very light weights, and ask guys for help.

I hate approaching girls at a gym, because sometimes they give me this weird look like "what the hell are you doing". Bars are so much easier, although the quality of girl you are looking for isn't so great. At least you know they are there to look for someone. But it is much easier for a girl to approach a guy to ask for help at a gym, even if you know how to use the weights, guys will be more than ready to help. And if you start going to other areas, and guys know that you are new, they may rush over to help you if they like you.

You have to be wary though, there are a lot of muscle bound idiots there that just lift weights to get laid more on the weekends. So use your best judgment.

Well that's interesting, but as for signing up for a school I've completed a BA and MA in two different schools in two different states and still didn't mangage to find anyone. I also used the gym at both schools and talked to people there all the time. No luck. Now I work in a, um, less than ideal town to look for a date or more. I live in a town that isn't much better. I came to the area for the job, not thinking about the rest. I've now had my best success from online dating sites because they open the up to people I may otherwise never have come into contact with. (Oh and the closest gym with anyone decent would be 1hr and 15 min. from where I work. I did scope out the local gyms. Ew.)
 
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nursekim25 is offline nursekim25 Post #8  September 6,2009, 3:52pm
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I am also 26 and have been on eh for about three months now with no luck. I am just like u- in school and work part time. Don't do the bar scene much anymore and I really wouldn't want meet a guy in a bar anyway. I'm in nursing school (which is predominantly female) so I can't really meet guys that way. I also have a four year old so I don't get to go out as much anymore. I have been single for a year now after getting out of a very bad four year relationship and decided to try it. I have talked to a lot of guys- some that were very nice but lived too far away- I have met a few of them, one was nice but it didn't work out, the second I went out with twice but was just not attracted to, and the third I went out with a couple times and found at that he was freaking crazy and a jerk- nothing like his profile- it was all a lie. Now I am very leery about meeting someone else. I am starting to feel like I wish I wouldve never signed up for this- it has been very exhausting.
 
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whatalife1683 is offline whatalife1683 Post #9  September 11,2009, 6:55pm
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I am fairly still new to Eharmony. I have had no luck with this site. I do not regret paying for it though. It is a chance to try something new, and see if I can meet someone. I have only gotten 2 responses since I signed up 2 and half weeks ago. I am giving it time, but it does seem very frustrating for me. I am willing to bet it has been frustrating for many males on this site. For those nice guys, we tend to get rejected a lot. Maybe all of us nice guys are too ugly hahahahahha. I knew I should have went on extreme makeover haha.
 
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Rand_011 is offline Rand_011 Post #10  September 15,2009, 10:50am
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I never did the bar/club scene and have no intention ... I have found eHarmony to be a great resource ... Have had many dates and one relattionship through it (about 2 and a half months into the relationship and things are going great still) ... I found the return, that is the 'match' to date ratio was about 10 to 1 ... By 'match' I include everyone eHarmony matches me with, even if I was the one that closed them out.
 
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