gizz104 is offline gizz104 Post #1  July 27,2009, 1:57am
gizz104's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

sorry guys Im sure this has been done a million times..heres to a million and one. Anyways, so I am 21 and a single mom to the most beautiful eleven month old little girl. I understand that MOST men my age or close to it do not not neccessarily want someone who has a child. Personally, I am looking for a long term relationship which is why I am here. Like a lot of you I am not into the club/bar scene. I am not here looking for a daddy for her, wait a sec..I dont exactly know how to describe it. I mean Im not here to find someone soley because I do not want to be a single parent. I prefer real relationships as opposed to flings, and am looking for that "special someone". So personally if I started dating someone it would be quite sometime before they were even introduced to my daughter. Right now I am not a paying memeber because I am not really sure if it is worth it. I mean what if everyone is driven away by the fact that I have a child. Anyways, now that this has dragged on forever. Would you, personally, date someone with a child, or would you be willing to build a longterm relationship(given that you were both interested). Any single parents feel free to share your experiences in the world of love.
Last edited by gizz104; July 27,2009 at 5:19pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #2  July 27,2009, 3:44am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.
 
  Reply With Quote
gizz104 is offline gizz104 Post #3  July 27,2009, 5:18pm
gizz104's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

stevex wrote :
As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite no if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.

You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #4  July 30,2009, 2:31pm
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

gizz104 wrote :
[/color][/size]
[/size]

You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
With your response it appears that you have a good head on your shoulder and that there would be a lot guys that would be okay with the fact that you have a child. if you haven't yet gotten on eHarmony I highly suggest it and you are surely to find a guy that will care about you and maybe your child later on down the road.
 
  Reply With Quote
CharlieV1 is offline CharlieV1 Post #5  August 29,2009, 8:42am
CharlieV1's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

new york

Posts: 13

See profile

perhaps you can clear up a misconception that I may have. Ideally I wouldn't mind seeing someone with a kid. My concern is the jealous dad coming after me. Which recently happened and this newly single mom was just a room mate living here. Needed a place to stay for a few weeks. But the baby dad thought I liked her. The way I was trying to help. Sent me a threatening e-mail and was about ready to get violent.
Some pregnant woman seek to date other men when they were with the father obviously just a few months earlier. What changes so quickly?

Unless he is controlling like the guy I encountered but that puts your potential suitors at risk if he's dangerous.
 
  Reply With Quote
w_elissa is offline w_elissa Post #6  September 4,2009, 6:01pm
w_elissa's Avatar

is puzzled

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Florida

Posts: 58

See profile

Well, I understand how everyone wants to find someone. I have a friend who had a child and has now found someone great who also has a child. Both of them had full custody and now they make such a cute family. However, I have met many guys with kids and depending on the circumstances I often find it a major turn off. Call me old fashioned, but I know how not to get pregnet and I would like to be married once and have children with that person. Maybe that's why I'm almost 27 with no children. I'll be honest, moving from the north to the south I'm now seeing myself as a minority.
 
  Reply With Quote
gomez is offline gomez Post #7  October 6,2009, 8:30pm
gomez's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Children's Hospital

Posts: 11

See profile

I also have a 5 year old son. Who I love very much! It is also hard for Men, because some women don't want a Men with a kid. They are just more discrete about it. I am single, and on e-harmony; but on my profile I mention my son. Because I am not ashame. They either Love it or Hate it. I have been closed by a lot of matches, because I have a 5 year old. But there are Fine single moms out there anyway!!!! So I am not bothered
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« 27th birthday ideas | 20ish and proud to be... | Dating for single parents »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 77 April 10,2011 6:11pm
Brilliant first date, then nothing? s77 Dating 25 August 26,2010 8:15pm
Dating a single father who has no contact with his child Sabrina31 Dating 31 July 31,2010 10:26am
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 11:29pm
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18,2009 9:50am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:58pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0