SodaPirate is offline SodaPirate Post #1  September 28,2008, 6:37am
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Clearly I need a translator here...





So I've been seeing this very nice guy for three months and he's been giving off signals that he wants to be a couple (ie: cleaning my apartment when I had to work during a weekend, wanting to sit nex to me in a booth instead of across from me, etc.) but when I try to verally drop the hint he talks about how he may not be around in a few months and then makes some odd comment about my job. I'm in the military, I move around every few years... puts a cramp apparently on long-term relationships.


Would love to fall for this guy but if he's going to sit on the fence I'm seriously considering downgrating this accociation to "just friends" and calling it a day. Any suggestions?
 
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Jonas is offline Jonas Post #2  September 29,2008, 5:19pm
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You could always be direct and come right out and ask, "Are you interested?" I think most guys appreciate clear cut communication ( I know I do ). It is a risk but it would quickly answer your question.
 
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japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #3  September 29,2008, 11:24pm
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I am confused, how can you be seeing a guy when you do not even know if he wants to be in a relationship or not?
 
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epbomb13 is offline epbomb13 Post #4  September 30,2008, 5:31pm
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After 3 months I would just come out and ask what his intentions are. If you're still not sure now, not to say that he is not a nice guy, and you feel you need to ask, then maybe it is time to move on and make him just a friend, but give the benefit of the doubt, ask him what he wants, I know I always ask before making my final decision.
 
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sixxlet84 is offline sixxlet84 Post #5  July 29,2009, 9:49pm
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SodaPirate wrote :
Clearly I need a translator here...





So I've been seeing this very nice guy for three months and he's been giving off signals that he wants to be a couple (ie: cleaning my apartment when I had to work during a weekend, wanting to sit nex to me in a booth instead of across from me, etc.) but when I try to verally drop the hint he talks about how he may not be around in a few months and then makes some odd comment about my job. I'm in the military, I move around every few years... puts a cramp apparently on long-term relationships.


Would love to fall for this guy but if he's going to sit on the fence I'm seriously considering downgrating this accociation to "just friends" and calling it a day. Any suggestions?
I'm definitely going through the same thing with a guy a friend of mine set me up with! It's really frustrating because he'll act like we're a couple in public (And even said he was glad he decided to play IM Volleyball because otherwise he wouldn't have met me) but when anything is brought up about 2 months from now he says how he's going to move out of state and "start fresh".
 
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Caecilia is offline Caecilia Post #6  August 24,2009, 4:13pm
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If I was in your place, "Soda pirate..." I may think to myself first whether this guy is really whom I want to be in a relationship with, weigh out why would i want to be in a relationship with him. In the process of weighing out, I would try not to rely much on the feeling I feel for him, but rather try to focus on the other logical matters, like how well do I know him, do I think we would get along well or compliment each other, etc. I'd also look at the possible conflict due to his characteristic and ask myself whether we'd be able to compromise.

If after reflecting, I still think he is a good candidate, then I'd be honest and ask him where he is thinking/intending us to go, is it just to be friendship or relationship? I might also mention that my concern regarding his inconsistent signals. Is there anything that he is still not sure about? Is it that he might need more time to decide the next step?

He might :
  • think that he does not know me that well yet
  • have bad experience with the last relationship, hence he is now scared and/or not ready yet to enter another one despite his feelings, interest, strong desire to start somehng wth me
  • be aware that there are things in me that he is not sure about
Those are just the possible things, but communication (words), is very important in this situation.

I wish you all the best! I hope it helps.
 
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