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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
wow. I feel sorry for her- poor girl is only looking for love like everyone else, and strangers are making fun of her spelling and education.

Exactly what I was thinking - she may well be a terrific, fun, kind person....but hey...judging is so easy and discarding even easier.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:32 am
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islandrain80 islandrain80 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008

Since I believe that education / intelligence is one of the things that need to be similar to create compatibility I have to take a view of Chemistry as that their system is not very good at predicting compatible matches. My reason for this thread is not against this particular match but to point out the failings of another dating site that uses the same basic concepts as eHarmony.

Hey you asked [/quote]

If you just wanted to make a point of Chemistry you should of just stated that. No reason to drag someone else into the post. In your OP you failed to mention your thoughts of Chemistry and focused on this ladies spelling. Therefor you come across someone who judges others by their spelling.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:42 am
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notyet notyet is offline
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here is the thing- we all judge- all of us. and we all have different criteria.

none of us are under any obligation to communicate with anybody.

so if someone on a dating site attempts to put their best out there and i in turn decide that their best is not what i am looking for, i do not have to initiate or respond to communication.

i would have passed on that match too.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:24 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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notyet wrote :
here is the thing- we all judge- all of us. and we all have different criteria.

none of us are under any obligation to communicate with anybody.

so if someone on a dating site attempts to put their best out there and i in turn decide that their best is not what i am looking for, i do not have to initiate or respond to communication.

i would have passed on that match too.
I agree with you completely. i would have passed as well

but it's still kind of a carpy thing to post it on a message board simply to make fun of her. *shrug
- November 5th, 2009, 12:39 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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There are a lot of things that get gently (and not so gently) poked fun at on this site. For example....men (and even a few women) with profile photos of themselves standing next to a dead animal.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:40 pm
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Dafearon Dafearon is offline
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I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:46 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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jayjay wrote :
There are a lot of things that get gently (and not so gently) poked fun at on this site. For example....men (and even a few women) with profile photos of themselves standing next to a dead animal.
some things deserve to get made fun of, like people making stupid decisions.

someone not as smart/educated as someone else- that sometimes can't be helped.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:49 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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Dafearon wrote :
I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
This is probably related to what someone's criterion are for intelligence...or at least education. For someone who has education as very important this most likely wouldn't be a good match. For someone that education isn't one of the most important factors poor spelling and grammar needn't be a problem. Education isn't that critical to me. I mean....I dated a woman who was very intelligent and articulate....and as crazy as a shthouse rat.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:52 pm
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I've found that there are super intelligent people who just can't spell....specifically those in the science/math field, they would rather use their mental capacity for more important things. Though if you have ever been a data entry person for a pharmacy...this can be frustrating...thank goodness more and more facilities are doing computer generated scripts.

I also agree with the ESL argument. You could be blowing a great person off who just doesn't have a great command of the English language yet. Sometimes that is a good thing because they usually don't know all the words that hurt and struggle to get out the essential words to connect. This means their words mean more.

Growing up in a lower middle class environment....Ebonics is not limited to a certain race and does not necessarily connote a certain level of intelligence. Reminds me of a time when we had an educated black male as an assistant manager. He tried to talk Ebonics with a fellow co-worker of mine who was also a black male but of lesser education. In the end the worker and I had a good laugh as I translated for him what the smarty pants was trying to say It does say a lot about the socioeconomic status, lack of quality education and possibly discipline. I can appreciate the creativity of the Ebonic language but clearly something that would be best practiced around a circle of friends and not in the workplace where there is enough problems with communication

In the end I look into profiles for quality of content. What words and values are they putting forth that will show me that they are going to be a good mate for me. I understand what Gr8guy is getting at...I am also looking for a person of a certain educational level because I enjoy good communication between my partner and I. Even then I may relax my criteria if he just happens to be a person who,like my own father, may have only had a high school education but was well read on various subjects and took an interest in the world and people around him. Based on the educational system as it is today though....this would be a highly unlikely occurrence.

The fact that this woman is an assistant manager shows that despite lacking the language skills she showed initiative to take hold of a position of responsibility. To really make any good judgment calls based on a profile you would really have to read everything within the context it was presented. Wow...more than two cents today but hope you can appreciate the content (coming from the woman who heavily relies on spell check to get through her day...because she has more important things on her mind )
- November 5th, 2009, 12:57 pm
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Dafearon wrote :
I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
so you initiate with all matches and respond to all communication right up to and through the first meet, right?
- November 5th, 2009, 02:00 pm
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