Spinoff from "Smart Women" thread: Men & the courts/abusive women/false DV claims/etc.


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Rainmaker54 is offline Rainmaker54 Post #1  February 17,2010, 10:30pm
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chawks64 wrote :
I had custody of our oldest (who is now grown) and my ex has custody of our youngest.

I've been divorced twice and never gotten a dime of alimony. Or thought it fair to even try.

Are the courts fair? Probably not. But you can see from my posts on other threads that life is not fair. It's not a matter of one person getting picked on, it's a matter of which particular issue are you getting a raw deal on, because almost everyone is, just in a differnt way.
The fact that life in general is not fair, does not obviate the courts from being fair, as the very purpose for their existence is to mete out fair and impartial justice.

From my own personal work experience spanning 16 years, I have witnessed time and again that we live in a country where a woman can falsely accuse a man of domestic violence (or worse), then have the case come to trial with it proven in court that the woman is lying (extremely commonplace), and then finally after the case is dismissed having the Judge say something like, "Well sir, I hope you get your life together....and have a nice day", with no penalty imposed upon the woman for lying, committing perjury, and costing the man $15,000 in lawyer's fees, loss of income, defamation of character, etc., etc.

When one sees this injustice play out over and over again, week after week, one does tend to become "enlightened" about the FACTUAL reality of the situation. Since so many men have been shafted by family court and have experienced the double-standards first-hand, and now realize the potential dangers of associating with women, there does seem to be more tension in the dating dynamic in this country.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #2  February 18,2010, 12:41am
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Rainmaker54 wrote :
The fact that life in general is not fair, does not obviate the courts from being fair, as the very purpose for their existence is to mete out fair and impartial justice.

From my own personal work experience spanning 16 years, I have witnessed time and again that we live in a country where a woman can falsely accuse a man of domestic violence (or worse), then have the case come to trial with it proven in court that the woman is lying (extremely commonplace), and then finally after the case is dismissed having the Judge say something like, "Well sir, I hope you get your life together....and have a nice day", with no penalty imposed upon the woman for lying, committing perjury, and costing the man $15,000 in lawyer's fees, loss of income, defamation of character, etc., etc.

When one sees this injustice play out over and over again, week after week, one does tend to become "enlightened" about the FACTUAL reality of the situation. Since so many men have been shafted by family court and have experienced the double-standards first-hand, and now realize the potential dangers of associating with women, there does seem to be more tension in the dating dynamic in this country.
Cool, but you replied to a woman who never took any alimony, always gave her ex-husband and his family unlimited access to the children, took about half the child support the state suggested, was falsely accused of sexual harassment by a man at her work, and can't get promoted solely because I'm missing that something special in my pants (which I've been told to my face).

I don't think I need to hear how unfair life is to men.
 
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Rainmaker54 is offline Rainmaker54 Post #3  February 18,2010, 7:16am
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chawks64 wrote :
Cool, but you replied to a woman who never took any alimony, always gave her ex-husband and his family unlimited access to the children, took about half the child support the state suggested, was falsely accused of sexual harassment by a man at her work, and can't get promoted solely because I'm missing that something special in my pants (which I've been told to my face).

I don't think I need to hear how unfair life is to men.
Sure you do. You missed the point. Of course there are problems for both sexes in the workplace, in grocery stores, on the street, on the subway, etc., etc.

The fact that you "gave" (interesting choice of words) your ex-husband unlimited access to the children does not change the fact that had you not "given" your ex-husband access to children, children that have exactly one half of his DNA, the family courts likely would have ruled in your favor. Why? Because of an inherent gender-based bias in what is SUPPOSED TO BE an unbiased non-discriminatory forum.

Unfortunately, your bitterness, sense of entitlement, and self focus is blinding you to one of the root causes of tension between the sexes, and why dating is not what it used to be. Where oh where are all the good men? Sitting with their attorneys drawing up enforceable pre-nuptial agreements.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  February 18,2010, 7:31am
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some Men make their own problems I think.

If they wouldn't harp on and on about being the provider, and marrying compliant submissive baby makers, maybe then when they get divorced the wife would actually be making more money and he could sue for primary custody and alimony.

it doesn't make sense to send a housewife out into the workforce to try and make enough money to support herself, he ex and kids.
 
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Rainmaker54 is offline Rainmaker54 Post #5  February 18,2010, 9:42am
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scarlet13 wrote :
some Men make their own problems I think.
What "problems" are you referring to? And are you implying that women don't make their own "problems"?

scarlet13 wrote :
If they wouldn't harp on and on about being the provider,
Harp? Who's harping, and who's talking about being the "provider"? Prenuptial agreements can address a lot more than just alimony these days. My clients are drafting agreements that make provision for the eventuality of a women falsely accusing them of domestic violence.

scarlet13 wrote :
and marrying compliant submissive baby makers,
Where are all these "compliant submissive baby makers" you speak of? Lost in the previous century? Many of today's modern women are well paid, aggressive, power hungry, demanding, vengeful, bitter, conniving, and obsessed with the notion of becoming exactly like the stereotypical man of yesteryear - vulgar, coarse, crude, lewd, drug using, smoking, drinking, brawling, smoking, tattooed, and engaging in frivolous sexual encounters, etc., etc.

scarlet13 wrote :
maybe then when they get divorced the wife would actually be making more money and he could sue for primary custody and alimony.
And how many men (men who do make less money than their wife) chase her down for alimony and fight to have her never see her children ever again? Answer: Almost none.

scarlet13 wrote :
it doesn't make sense to send a housewife out into the workforce to try and make enough money to support herself, he ex and kids.
Who said anything about sending a "housewife" out into the workforce"? And in 2010, how many women are "housewives"? And furthermore, the intelligent modern women of today can't be trained? Seriously?

While many of the posters on this web site can only speak from relatively limited personal experience, I am in the thick of the "battle of the sexes" everyday, and have been for 16 years, and have a perspective based upon handling over 2000 divorce cases, all of which were trial cases. Many of these cases also involved criminal court actions, as well.
Last edited by Rainmaker54; February 27,2010 at 8:32pm.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #6  February 18,2010, 12:06pm
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so, post links from your "stats"

what you have is your perception of the facts. which is what we all have.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  February 18,2010, 12:16pm
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Rainmaker54 wrote :
The vast majority of today's modern women are
aggressive, power hungry, vengeful, bitter, conniving, and obsessed with the notion of becoming exactly like the stereotypical man of yesteryear - cursing, drug use, physical altercations, smoking, tattoos, able to have frivolous sexual encounters (with the availability of abortion on demand
beyond our control
FTFY
Last edited by scarlet13; February 18,2010 at 12:44pm.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #8  February 18,2010, 3:32pm
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Rainmaker54 wrote :
Sure you do. You missed the point. Of course there are problems for both sexes in the workplace, in grocery stores, on the street, on the subway, etc., etc.

The fact that you "gave" (interesting choice of words) your ex-husband unlimited access to the children does not change the fact that had you not "given" your ex-husband access to children, children that have exactly one half of his DNA, the family courts likely would have ruled in your favor. Why? Because of an inherent gender-based bias in what is SUPPOSED TO BE an unbiased non-discriminatory forum.
Um... yeah. Good generalization based on absolutely nothing.

I "gave" him unlimited access because I had primary and physical custody. I was their legal guardian. The courts awarded me custody because that's what my ex and I agreed on before ever seeing a judge or even an attorney. The reason we agreed on custody going to me was that, during the marriage, he had bailed on child-rearing, so he had no idea how to parent. Even he knew that. He also was an alcoholic with a wee bit of a temper problem, so there's no way the courts would have awarded him custody, male or female.

I don't think I missed the point at all.

Rainmaker54 wrote :
Unfortunately, your bitterness, sense of entitlement, and self focus is blinding you to one of the root causes of tension between the sexes, and why dating is not what it used to be. Where oh where are all the good men? Sitting with their attorneys drawing up enforceable pre-nuptial agreements.
I'm guessing you haven't read many of my posts, the vast majority of which are talking about how wonderful men are and how they should be appreciated. I'm also one of the most optimistic people on the planet, assuming everyone is good and decent until they prove otherwise. That includes men.

Who's bitter?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  February 18,2010, 3:45pm
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Rainmaker54 wrote :
"
While most of the posters on this web site can only speak from their relatively limited personal experience, I am in the thick of the "battle of the sexes" everyday, and have been for 16 years. I know what the stats are.
We love stats here and would be happy for you to post some numbers -- otherwise it's still all anecdotal and limited to your personal experience.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #10  February 18,2010, 6:45pm
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Rainmaker54 wrote :
"Their own problems"? What are you referring to?

Who is talking about being the "provider"? Prenuptial agreements can address a lot more than just alimony these days. My clients are drafting agreements that make provision for the eventuality of a women falsely accusing them of domestic violence.

And where are all these "compliant submissive baby makers" you speak of? Lost in the previous century? The vast majority of today's modern women are aggressive, power hungry, vengeful, bitter, conniving, and obsessed with the notion of becoming exactly like the stereotypical man of yesteryear - cursing, drug use, physical altercations, smoking, tattoos, able to have frivolous sexual encounters (with the availability of abortion on demand, and as a matter of solving an "inconvenience", as a back-up plan), etc., etc.

And how many men, men who do make less money than their wife, chase her down for alimony and fight to have her never see her children ever again? Answer: almost none.

While most of the posters on this web site can only speak from their relatively limited personal experience, I am in the thick of the "battle of the sexes" everyday, and have been for 16 years. I know what the stats are.
It sounds like your occupation may be bad for your health. I hope it's worth it.
 
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