Jokes about women, men, dating, relationships


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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #1  February 18,2010, 10:14am
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A store that sells new husbands has opened where a woman may go to choose a
husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
store operates:


You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!



So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #2  February 18,2010, 10:20am
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... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

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LMFAO!
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #3  February 18,2010, 11:10am
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is looking to be someone's priority..not just another option!

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......got trapped in the clearance aisle of that store....once!!!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  February 18,2010, 11:15am
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ratedPG wrote :
......got trapped in the clearance aisle of that store....once!!!
Five stars... me too!
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #5  February 18,2010, 1:08pm
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is thinking about someone special

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I've always liked...

How to please Men and Women

To please a woman

Listen to her, respect her, support her, worship her, defend her, agree with her, cherish her and love her.

To please a man

Show up naked, with beer.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  February 18,2010, 1:38pm
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- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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gothustartus wrote :
Show up naked, with beer.

On time, please!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #7  February 18,2010, 1:55pm
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D_Lion wrote :
On time, please!
if all other criteria were met... would it really matter .
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  February 18,2010, 1:57pm
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jussmile wrote :
if all other criteria were met... would it really matter .

Darn Tootin'
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_LoriAdvice Official Moderator Post #9  February 18,2010, 1:59pm
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My one wish for you, is love. :)

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I moved this thread to the appropriate forum and updated the thread title so it actually speaks to the thread content.

Hopefully this thread will provide a little much-needed comic relief.

Be nice, everyone....
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #10  February 19,2010, 10:03am
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... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

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Lil' Timmy, Tommy and Johnny are hanging in the playground after school bragging about their Dads.

Timmy says "My Dad's so cool he can eat 3 hamburgers in one sitting!"

Tommy says "So what, that's nothing! My Dad can eat 6 hamburgers in one sitting!"

Johnny says "Oh yeah? My Dad's cooler than both your Dads. My Dad can eat lightbulbs!"

Timmy and Tommy reply "Really? That's awesome! Did he show you how?"

Johnny says "Well, no, but I heard him say last night to my Mom 'Honey, put the light out, I'm gonna eat that thing!'"

 
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