Five Myths of Divorce, CS, and Custody in the USA


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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #91  November 6,2009, 6:31pm
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cardguy wrote :
Ultimately, it may make sense or not for an individual situation, but my observation has been that as a short term investment a house is pretty risky relative to other options.

At issue is not the house versus other investments; at issue is how a person with liquidity can best cover the cost of a child's education when that child is geographically distant from the parent(s)' dwelling.

For sure, I did not advocate a path which prioritized risk-aversion, but one which prioritized wealth accretion.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #92  November 6,2009, 6:42pm
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D_Lion wrote :
And I don't define my situation to US average persons, but to my peer group, as I should.
You can prove anything when you set the terms as to whom you're going to compare with whom.

The question becomes, is that data

1) Reliable - if you used two different methods of measurement, would you get the same results?

2) Valid - is your method of meaurement actually measuring what it's supposed to?

3) For the purposes of debating with the general public, is the data representitive and statistically significant? You can really generalize from it, otherwise.

Anecdotal measures and data fit none of these requirements. That's why they're not used. Get some stats to back this up, and I'll take you more seriously on all this.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #93  November 6,2009, 6:48pm
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I can use those comments to reply to every post attacking me.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #94  November 6,2009, 6:51pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Absolutely true (and Jo knows that.) Still housing in the US is 100 basis points over CPI in the long run, and ought to be quite a bit over that in the next four years.

Plus, Jo is permitted two houses duductible interest, so put her marginal rate into the equation.
I manage daddy's investments. I haven't the time to look at this at the moment but if the numbers look good... Knowing my dad he would give her the home when she graduates.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #95  November 6,2009, 6:53pm
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You told me that your perceptions on low-income housing were coming from your observations, those of your friends, and some newspaper articles. You and your friends took care when making your observations to check all possible bias so that observations were as objective as possible?
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #96  November 6,2009, 6:55pm
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D_Lion wrote :
The most common outcome of divorce in the men I know is he is paying for his house, which he bought from his labor, while his non-working or minimally-working ex-partner lives in it. Half these men are living in junky apartments and half live with parents.

That is impoverishment.
Well I don't know any divorced men who are living in junky apartments or with their parents while paying for the house his ex is living in, so clearly, that doesn't ever happen.

See how 'useful' anecdotal data is? How about some objective facts.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #97  November 6,2009, 6:57pm
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We have many issues getting mixed here.

Are you debating a factual claim I made, a value I hold, or a conclusion?
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #98  November 6,2009, 7:15pm
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chawks64 wrote :
This thread has me all jumpy, but I forced myself to read through the entire thing before I replied.



If you want to live there because of the "education level", which is frustrating to me as an intelligent woman without a degree, then you have made your own choice and are required to live with it. Priorities, you know.

I guarantee I make much less than you do and, while the cost of living here may not be as high as Manhatten, Vegas is almost on par with Los Angeles now, and that isn't cheap either. It's got me yelling at my computer, seeing you write how awful you have it financially because your house isn't what you expected while I'm living in a 700 square foot one-bedroom apartment. And it's not because I made Bad Decisions, it's because I made Good Decisions for the benefit of other people.

No more talk about how broke you are. It's a slap in the face to those of us who really are.
I have to agree here with chawks. I have read every post and gotten more and more frustrated as I read!

I am an educated, intelligent woman--I have 30 hours beyond my Master's, 9 of which apply to my doctorate. With all of my education, I make considerably less than $40,000. I pay $1000 a month for a 3 br apt in a decent part of town with decent schools. And yes, I realize this is less than it would be in some parts of the country, but it's still a LOT on my salary. I get $600 a month child support for my kids, which is the same amount that I've gotten for the last 8 years. My kids have huge medical bills at various times--right now, my daughter has a hospital bill approaching $15,000.

Do I think it fair that my ex help pay the bills for the children he helped to create? Absolutely! Yet I have to fight him to get payment for every medical bill, all of which are in my name and ultimately effect my credit.

Not only that, when we divorced, the 'typical' support agreement decrees that the parents will split the cost of college 50/50. My ex railed against this. His argument was that I might encourage the children to be doctors just so it would cost him more. (His words, not mine.) He would never agree to the terms, so we finally took it out and college will be my responsibility alone for both children.

As if all of that is not enough, he recently changed jobs and got new health insurance. According to the divorce decree, he is required to provide insurance for the kids. He opted for the cheapest health plan offered by his company, which covers almost none of the children's doctors, so I have had to add the kids to my insurance in order to keep them covered.

I have never asked for anything other than what the law orders: monthly child support and 1/2 the medical bills. I never asked for or got alimony even though I had been a stay-at-home mom for 6 years when we divorced and had to go back to school to make myself marketable. I moved in and lived with my parents for 3 years during this time, while my ex moved into a fine, brand-new house with his new wife. Explain to me what exactly is unfair about a father paying to support his own children.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #99  November 6,2009, 7:43pm
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I see I now have a two-star post.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #100  November 6,2009, 7:53pm
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D_Lion wrote :
We have many issues getting mixed here.

Are you debating a factual claim I made, a value I hold, or a conclusion?
The question was self-explanatory, but I'm really tired; I'm done with this for the night.

Yeah, there are a lot of issues mixed up here. I suspect that you've made up your mind about all of them and really just trying to get a reaction out of people. Have fun with that, dude. Sleep's just more attractive for me right now.

On the off chance that you're serious about all this and not just poking people with sticks...just be sure that you stay willing to take responsibility for the choices that you've made that have shaped your life, if they don't get you the things that you want. You're shutting some potentially good things out with your choices, if you continue viewing things the way you do, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself if you miss out on something really goood because you couldn't let some of these things go.

But it's cool. Everyone walks their own path. Even frogs.

Good night, all...
 
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