DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #21  November 5,2009, 10:32am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,209

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
wow. I feel sorry for her- poor girl is only looking for love like everyone else, and strangers are making fun of her spelling and education.

Exactly what I was thinking - she may well be a terrific, fun, kind person....but hey...judging is so easy and discarding even easier.
 
  Reply With Quote
islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #22  November 5,2009, 10:42am
islandrain80's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2008

Washington

Posts: 484

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008

Since I believe that education / intelligence is one of the things that need to be similar to create compatibility I have to take a view of Chemistry as that their system is not very good at predicting compatible matches. My reason for this thread is not against this particular match but to point out the failings of another dating site that uses the same basic concepts as eHarmony.

Hey you asked [/quote]

If you just wanted to make a point of Chemistry you should of just stated that. No reason to drag someone else into the post. In your OP you failed to mention your thoughts of Chemistry and focused on this ladies spelling. Therefor you come across someone who judges others by their spelling.
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #23  November 5,2009, 11:24am
notyet's Avatar

anticipates

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

the province formerly known as British North America

Posts: 5,237

See profile

here is the thing- we all judge- all of us. and we all have different criteria.

none of us are under any obligation to communicate with anybody.

so if someone on a dating site attempts to put their best out there and i in turn decide that their best is not what i am looking for, i do not have to initiate or respond to communication.

i would have passed on that match too.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #24  November 5,2009, 11:39am
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

notyet wrote :
here is the thing- we all judge- all of us. and we all have different criteria.

none of us are under any obligation to communicate with anybody.

so if someone on a dating site attempts to put their best out there and i in turn decide that their best is not what i am looking for, i do not have to initiate or respond to communication.

i would have passed on that match too.
I agree with you completely. i would have passed as well

but it's still kind of a carpy thing to post it on a message board simply to make fun of her. *shrug
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #25  November 5,2009, 11:40am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

There are a lot of things that get gently (and not so gently) poked fun at on this site. For example....men (and even a few women) with profile photos of themselves standing next to a dead animal.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #26  November 5,2009, 11:46am
Dafearon's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Maryland

Posts: 2,181

See profile

I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #27  November 5,2009, 11:49am
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

jayjay wrote :
There are a lot of things that get gently (and not so gently) poked fun at on this site. For example....men (and even a few women) with profile photos of themselves standing next to a dead animal.
some things deserve to get made fun of, like people making stupid decisions.

someone not as smart/educated as someone else- that sometimes can't be helped.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #28  November 5,2009, 11:52am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Dafearon wrote :
I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
This is probably related to what someone's criterion are for intelligence...or at least education. For someone who has education as very important this most likely wouldn't be a good match. For someone that education isn't one of the most important factors poor spelling and grammar needn't be a problem. Education isn't that critical to me. I mean....I dated a woman who was very intelligent and articulate....and as crazy as a shthouse rat.
 
  Reply With Quote
PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #29  November 5,2009, 11:57am
PR_Princess's Avatar

Fly like an eagle...Let my spirit carry me

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 685

See profile

I've found that there are super intelligent people who just can't spell....specifically those in the science/math field, they would rather use their mental capacity for more important things. Though if you have ever been a data entry person for a pharmacy...this can be frustrating...thank goodness more and more facilities are doing computer generated scripts.

I also agree with the ESL argument. You could be blowing a great person off who just doesn't have a great command of the English language yet. Sometimes that is a good thing because they usually don't know all the words that hurt and struggle to get out the essential words to connect. This means their words mean more.

Growing up in a lower middle class environment....Ebonics is not limited to a certain race and does not necessarily connote a certain level of intelligence. Reminds me of a time when we had an educated black male as an assistant manager. He tried to talk Ebonics with a fellow co-worker of mine who was also a black male but of lesser education. In the end the worker and I had a good laugh as I translated for him what the smarty pants was trying to say It does say a lot about the socioeconomic status, lack of quality education and possibly discipline. I can appreciate the creativity of the Ebonic language but clearly something that would be best practiced around a circle of friends and not in the workplace where there is enough problems with communication

In the end I look into profiles for quality of content. What words and values are they putting forth that will show me that they are going to be a good mate for me. I understand what Gr8guy is getting at...I am also looking for a person of a certain educational level because I enjoy good communication between my partner and I. Even then I may relax my criteria if he just happens to be a person who,like my own father, may have only had a high school education but was well read on various subjects and took an interest in the world and people around him. Based on the educational system as it is today though....this would be a highly unlikely occurrence.

The fact that this woman is an assistant manager shows that despite lacking the language skills she showed initiative to take hold of a position of responsibility. To really make any good judgment calls based on a profile you would really have to read everything within the context it was presented. Wow...more than two cents today but hope you can appreciate the content (coming from the woman who heavily relies on spell check to get through her day...because she has more important things on her mind )
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #30  November 5,2009, 1:00pm
notyet's Avatar

anticipates

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

the province formerly known as British North America

Posts: 5,237

See profile

Dafearon wrote :
I would give her a chance. Despite the fact that we all make fun of stuff like this, I reserve judgment on the individual until i actually meet her in person.
so you initiate with all matches and respond to all communication right up to and through the first meet, right?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Where is the most romantic place you have been and wished you had someone to share it with? Rob_UK Travel 62 February 6,2012 3:10pm
An Interest You Want Share? DreamingOfAtlantis Using eHarmony 15 November 5,2009 5:48pm
SHARE ADDITIONAL RESOURCES ON CHRISTIAN DATING loveandharmony Christian Singles 1 October 2,2009 7:56pm
Share your wierd/funny/scary/whatever first meeting story. beentherehavetee Dating 16 August 22,2009 3:00pm
Reluctance to Share Photos Wildflower9 Using eHarmony 8 May 27,2009 7:26pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:11am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0