I lost my best friend to her stoopid-head finance


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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #11  May 24,2009, 5:21am
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really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

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treatmesweetly wrote :
I'm sorry you lost contact with your sister.

I already gave her their wedding gift - from the registry I didn't even know she had until after they were married - he wasn't there when I gave it to her. I saw them last night at a mutual acquaintance's wedding. During the drinks/appetizers, everytime I approached them to chat, he turned his back to me and/or moved her away (like across the room). I know I sound paranoid, but... During dinner, seating was arranaged and we sat at different tables, even though I sat at a table where I knew no one and they sat at a table where they knew only one other couple. The Bride knows that we are good friends and that we don't know her other friends (no, she's not the kind of person to force people who don't know each other to sit together).

It really upsets me to be losing a friend like this (good friends are so hard to come by!). The part that really bugs me is that I used to get along with her husband when they first started dating. We all joked and hung out together. But for the past few years, he's acted like I'm completely repulsive, and I have no idea what happened. I don't know if it was a one-time misunderstanding that never got cleared up, or if things just gradually deteriorated.
D_Lion's comments are accurate. My sister & I used to see a movie and have dinner once/month. After they married, I could only visit when I had an 'appointment', whereas his family just rocked up whenever they felt like it.

I don't believe you are being paranoid. Unless they genuinely didn't/couldn't see you, their behaviour was disrespectful. I say 'their' not his, because unless she made an effort to acknowledge you, she went along with his actions.

I agree with LBMM's advice to try to meet with them over coffee and discuss. I have found that keeping calm and asking direct questions often have the best outcomes.
 
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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #12  May 24,2009, 9:40am
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Thanks LBMM and Meri!

I loathe "confrontation", but I think you're right. If there's going to be any hope of salvaging what was a great friendship, I'm going to have to talk to both of them. It might be that she doesn't see the irritation he feels around me (or is ignoring it, hoping it will go away or resolve itself). It might be that he misunderstood something I said/did (Lord knows that's happened on more than one occasion in my lifetime). It might be that they are ready for a new chapter in their lives together, and I'm just not on those pages.

Either way, I won't know until I ask the question(s). Thank you!
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #13  May 25,2009, 3:05pm
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really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

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Anytime & hope it goes well
 
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