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boccabum boccabum is offline
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Kinda proves that men (and women) are varied. One size doesn't fit all.
I like generalizations. They have a purpose to describe a group of people in a very...general way. But that's where it should end. Because for every generalization, there are people who break it. Your guy friend is one of them.
- September 9th, 2009, 12:15 pm
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Robecology Robecology is offline
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Robecology That's me holding a bag of "Wake the f... up" coffee ! Loved the label!

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My reply in Red
kittycat8 wrote :
Thanks. New at the abbreviations being used.

.... Okay doesn't really matter anymore but I do not like to intentionally hurt anyone and it bothers me if I do. Had a situation happen not too long ago with a client that I had known for over a year. Younger than me and one night too much to drink became something else that I really didn't want it to be.(alcohol changes everything!) Not ready for a relationship asked if we could keep it just a sexual one. Seems I might of hurt my friend and everything became different after that. I just really thought a guy would like that scenario without taking into consideration that just maybe there were feelings involved..... My bad.
It's a theme hollywood uses a lot, but the reality of it is that it's not only an extremely rare offer, but one that often gets complicated. Biologically, when we have sex we both release and share hormonal fluids that change the way we think about the partner. Obviously the guy developed feelings for you that you didn't share with him...and then he felt deflated (expecially since he was drunk during the first encounter; I assume you were as well?) when you cut him off due to his expressions of attachment.

If you're upfront to a SOBER gent about your interests, and you're clear that you're not ready for a relationship no matter how good he performs, then you're most likely to have what you want, and he's not hurt by "being used"....but be forewarned; if you're hot and he's not, he might say "go" but he's hoping you'll change your mind and "use" him permanently (unless he's married; then all bets are off; in fact a married guy is probably your best prospect for what you're looking for!).
- September 10th, 2009, 04:10 pm
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kittycat8 kittycat8 is offline
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Well to be honest it wasn't what I was looking for. Since it just happened and yes a bit too much to drink. I also didn't have my defenses up. The fling was actually pretty good but I didn't have any interest to have it be anything more than that. I didn't tell him then it was after a few more times together that I actually told him and we were both sober at the time. Things changed right after that and I got the feeling I hurt his feelings but what can you do after that. I did feel bad.

I didn't know that it was a rare thing to ask ... oh well ..... I won't do that again.
- September 11th, 2009, 12:07 am
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Slarker Slarker is offline
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Admit it. In the back of everyone's minds, when we meet someone, you do a little sizing up on the potential sex portion of the relationship. Sometimes that can get into the way and ruin what could have been a really great relationship.

Having a sex buddy could be the answer to this dilemma. Having a physical relationship with someone while you are looking for that right mate could be quite beneficial. Being sexually satisfied will more than likely keep you from jumping the gun and offending the other person, or it could prevent you from getting into something before you found out that they were just released from a mental hospital.

There is always the problem that the physical relationship could lead one or both into feelings that go beyond just the physical, but one or both could be afraid to bring it up and ruin that relationship.

Any and all relationships, personal, business, etc. can be precarious and are always subject to change. One thing that a sex buddy relationship offers that a regular relationship sometimes doesn't is that the environment allows you to be more open with each other since you aren't talking about each other. You get to know each other better and more intimately, probably faster than through normal channels. You might discover more about each other faster. And it could lead to a deeper relationship.

I ramble.
- September 11th, 2009, 05:09 pm
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notyet notyet is offline
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kittycat8 wrote :
...it seems it is the guys who seem to be focused on the sexual relationship with the lady and from what I have known it can be that way sometimes... just a sexual relationship. But what if the table is turned and the lady just wants it to be that way and she let you know? How do you feel about that? Would that hurt your feelings or not? Would it matter if you had hoped for more or not?
i love stereotypes... NOT!

this is what keeps the gender wars going.
- September 11th, 2009, 11:44 pm
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I have had and have a FWB.
Right now me and my X get together to knock boots once in a while. That is all it is with no strings attached. She is the one that first said that.

If I found someone I wanted to spend more time with I would tell my FWB that I cant see her any more. Same as I know she may tell me she met someone and we cant knock boots anymore.
- October 19th, 2009, 09:43 am
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I've had a few relationships like that over the years...and I enjoyed them. It was refreshing to know a man and a woman could just enjoy a sexual relationship without having to deal with all the other emotional issues. I think it freed us to explore more sexually.
- October 22nd, 2009, 09:34 pm
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BrickWallsBreak BrickWallsBreak is offline
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Men want what they can't have ... it's the challenge of the hunt that are the excitement.
- October 29th, 2009, 11:23 pm
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HowlingDuck HowlingDuck is offline
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BrickWallsBreak wrote :
Men want what they can't have ... it's the challenge of the hunt that are the excitement.
Now there's a stereotypical idea of men if I've ever seen one! In my experience everyone wants what they can't have; the thrill of the hunt is not gender specific.
- October 30th, 2009, 09:40 pm
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BrickWallsBreak BrickWallsBreak is offline
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HowlingDuck wrote :
Now there's a stereotypical idea of men if I've ever seen one! In my experience everyone wants what they can't have; the thrill of the hunt is not gender specific.
I meet women all the time who ask me to marry them. It's true.

If you want role reversal, there's always Thailand?
- October 31st, 2009, 01:43 pm
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