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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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I much prefer the company of women I'm having sex with over the company of women who want to treat me like I'm one of their girlfriends. What's so hard to understand about that? Its really quite simple when you think about it.
Last edited by ANDR3W; October 5th, 2009 at 10:18 am. Reason: grammar
- October 5th, 2009, 10:09 am
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Wow! after readingsome of the repies, I find I have to agree with most. in the early stage of my life I had a lot of male friends and I thought all of them were of the platonic kind but as the years when by one or more of the so called platonic friends started to hit on me. I thought that was strange. but now I see that if there is any kind of attraction there can be no platonic friendships. I think it is possible but highly unlikly in the long run. by learning this fact I now look at men differently. strange that is not to be able to just be platonic friends with men.
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- October 5th, 2009, 11:00 pm
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Lisamree Lisamree is offline
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ANDR3W wrote :
This may be a stupid question but what are platonic friends for? And what is there to be gained from having an attractive platonic friend anyway. My closest friends are some of my classmates and frat brothers from college, and my platonic friends are mostly their girlfriends and wives as well as my female coworkers. None of my best friends are female, this is because sexual tension is not a good basis for a friendship. Also you can speak more openly with your male friends then when your in mixed company. Am i wrong to to feel this way?
Yes, you are wrong! : ) I like the way a man's mind works. I like getting to the heart of a matter, so I have many guy friends. I'm attracted to a majority of them, nature of the game. But I value the input, the varied thinking, the humor.
- October 6th, 2009, 10:12 pm
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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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Lisamree wrote :
Yes, you are wrong! : ) I like the way a man's mind works. I like getting to the heart of a matter, so I have many guy friends. I'm attracted to a majority of them, nature of the game. But I value the input, the varied thinking, the humor.
I am more then willing to admit that i could be wrong, but please explain to me why I'm wrong? I fail to see how it suits the interests of males to be in a platonic relationship in the first place. If women have a desire for sexless relationships where they sit around and chit chat all day while drinking international coffee and watching reruns of Desperate House Wives then why not seek out another female or even a gay guy for these activities. Why is it necessary to trick a heterosexual male who has been attracted to you by the possibility of a sexual relationship that will never happen? How does he benefit from this interaction? Can somebody answer me that please.
Last edited by ANDR3W; October 15th, 2009 at 02:44 pm. Reason: grammar
- October 15th, 2009, 02:32 pm
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Nylit Nylit is offline
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Andrew, why do you have friends?
Think now,,, you have someone you can communicate with that doesn't judge you but gives you honest answers ,, someone who is there when your sick or lonely or bored. Someone you can call and say hey lets go do whatever and both enjoy doing it because its fun,, no sex, no drama, no promises ,, just fun.
Friends are just that, a friend not a sex partner.
You need to open your eyes and explore the world more fully.
Everything is not about sex, even if it is a most pleasurable past time.
Your missing a lot if you only see women as someone you Have to have sex with.
However, I have had fun reading your comments, you made me laugh a bit.
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:47 pm
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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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Nylit wrote :
Andrew, why do you have friends?
Think now,,, you have someone you can communicate with that doesn't judge you but gives you honest answers ,, someone who is there when your sick or lonely or bored. Someone you can call and say hey lets go do whatever and both enjoy doing it because its fun,, no sex, no drama, no promises ,, just fun.
Friends are just that, a friend not a sex partner.
You need to open your eyes and explore the world more fully.
Everything is not about sex, even if it is a most pleasurable past time.
Your missing a lot if you only see women as someone you Have to have sex with.
However, I have had fun reading your comments, you made me laugh a bit.



I have the friends that i have because we share many interests in common, and we enjoy each others company. All of my close friends are male, I can talk openly to them about anything without fear of hurting their feelings, and i understand where they are coming from most of the time. Women are different, you have to measure your words more carefully around them to avoid hurting their delicate feelings, and i almost never understand where they are coming from. Compounding this problem is the fact that it is hard for me to talk to an attractive woman without the idea of sex intruding into my mind at some point, what am i supposed to do about that? Telling a man not to think about sex is like telling a fish not to swim, or telling a kangaroo not to hop, it simply doesn`t work. This brings to mind an old saying: "A woman looks to one man to fulfill her every need, but a man looks to every woman to fulfill his one need." This is the sad truth of the matter, sex really is important to most guys. Women own sex because women own all of the vaginas, so if you are interested in having sex then it is necessary to get to know them and try to understand them. I agree with much of what you have said, but i have one question. When you say "You need to open your eyes and explore the world more fully." What do you mean exactly? How does being involved in a platonic relationship help one open their eyes and explore the world more fully?

YouTube - What Would Penis Do? - Tales Of Mere Existence
- November 9th, 2009, 12:36 pm
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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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I posted a reply earlier but i think it is in limbo waiting for the moderators to approve it.
- November 9th, 2009, 02:34 pm
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Hisown Hisown is offline
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ANDR3W wrote :

I have the friends that i have because we share many interests in common, and we enjoy each others company. All of my close friends are male, I can talk openly to them about anything without fear of hurting their feelings, and i understand where they are coming from most of the time. Women are different, you have to measure your words more carefully around them to avoid hurting their delicate feelings, and i almost never understand where they are coming from. Compounding this problem is the fact that it is hard for me to talk to an attractive woman without the idea of sex intruding into my mind at some point, what am i supposed to do about that? Telling a man not to think about sex is like telling a fish not to swim, or telling a kangaroo not to hop, it simply doesn`t work. This brings to mind an old saying: "A woman looks to one man to fulfill her every need, but a man looks to every woman to fulfill his one need." This is the sad truth of the matter, sex really is important to most guys. Women own sex because women own all of the vaginas, so if you are interested in having sex then it is necessary to get to know them and try to understand them. I agree with much of what you have said, but i have one question. When you say "You need to open your eyes and explore the world more fully." What do you mean exactly? How does being involved in a platonic relationship help one open their eyes and explore the world more fully?
Andrew: I have been reading this thread and then went away to ponder it all and have now returned to answer you.

Since you keep asking for whys? and explanations? I either (1) have to consider this a serious query on your part or (2) consider that you are trying to justify your current behaviors and attitudes towards women. But since I don't know you I will give you the benefit of the doubt first and try to answer your query as best as possible.

It is possible to have platonic relationships between men and women. But as noted in all of the posts, the relationship has to be one where both parties are mature enough to get beyond the physical nature between men and women to explore the uniqueness between us emotionally and spiritually in order to learn from it. It definitely is not an easy quest and involves mutual respect for each other.

Now I am sorry but I have to expound on why you are not getting this concept. You are currently swimming in a little fish bowl wondering why there are others who keep saying that there is more to this platonic relationship business. They are swimming in the great depths of the ocean and are speaking from that realm but you can't understand because all you can see is the little world you are in. Your perception is limited by the shallowness and smallness of your environment and you can't grasp what they are talking about. You have to look beyond yourself to see and understand. You will need to listen to the wisdom of others who are swam where you are and have moved on to bigger and better things in their lives. This involves change and willingness on your part to do this though.

You are stuck in adolescent grade school behaviors and ideas where your little head constantly rules your big head. You are running around like an animal only interested in meeting your base needs, like a cave man going ugh ugh. Since you are stuck in the world of meeting your own needs continually, of course you are unable to understand women or get to know them from a nonsexual point of view. You are being superficial with women in order to make a conquest and have little respect for them. Women's feelings are no more delicate then men's are. Yes, women are different that is what is great about us. We are a lot more than a vagina as men are more than a penis.

And if all men had the same attitudes as you then we would have to move back to a culturally backwards society where women have to be at home because all the men are animals out there and we need to be protected from the likes of you. What if my boss thought like you do? I could not respect nor work for him because he would always be looking at all the women in my office as meat.

Then you cry I cannot help myself...you have that little of control over your thoughts and actions?

The reason you have no control is because you don't want to....it is all about pleasing yourself and meeting your own selfish needs. When you start thinking about others and esteeming them above yourself and your needs, then you will make the effort to control your thoughts and behaviors. You will show respect and have integrity towards others and yourself. Do you have a sister (s)? Would you want men looking at your sister (s) and treating them like you do? I hope not or you are a man to be most pitied.

In a few years you may eventually learn that this current type of existence is shallow and that you could have enjoyed such depth and richness to your relationships that you missed out on with all the women you have known. It is an effort to get to know us and understand us but that is the fun and joy of it all. That is part of the adventure.

But why change? It is easier being a cave man going ugh ugh, grunting and farting with all your male friends.

But, if you truly are serious and want to understand then start looking beyond yourself and your own needs; esteem others greater than yourself showing them integrity and respect. Gain control of yourself - both thoughts and actions. Make the effort to learn about our uniqueness, not for the purpose of making a sexual conquest, but to sincerely get to know who and what we are about.

I am sorry if I seemed hard on you. The truth is sometimes hard and ugly. The first step towards change is knowledge of where you are and acknowledging where you need to go. The journey may not always be easy but it is worth it. Do you want to stay stuck in that fish bowl the rest of your life or do you want to swim in the vastness of the ocean? It may seem safe and fun to stay where you are but you will miss the beauty and the wonders to behold as well as experience by staying in your own little world. But then of course you wouldn't know what you are missing. It is your choice.
- November 11th, 2009, 02:01 pm
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ANDR3W ANDR3W is offline
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Hisown wrote :
Andrew: I have been reading this thread and then went away to ponder it all and have now returned to answer you.

Since you keep asking for whys? and explanations? I either (1) have to consider this a serious query on your part or (2) consider that you are trying to justify your current behaviors and attitudes towards women. But since I don't know you I will give you the benefit of the doubt first and try to answer your query as best as possible.

It is possible to have platonic relationships between men and women. But as noted in all of the posts, the relationship has to be one where both parties are mature enough to get beyond the physical nature between men and women to explore the uniqueness between us emotionally and spiritually in order to learn from it. It definitely is not an easy quest and involves mutual respect for each other.

Now I am sorry but I have to expound on why you are not getting this concept. You are currently swimming in a little fish bowl wondering why there are others who keep saying that there is more to this platonic relationship business. They are swimming in the great depths of the ocean and are speaking from that realm but you can't understand because all you can see is the little world you are in. Your perception is limited by the shallowness and smallness of your environment and you can't grasp what they are talking about. You have to look beyond yourself to see and understand. You will need to listen to the wisdom of others who are swam where you are and have moved on to bigger and better things in their lives. This involves change and willingness on your part to do this though.

You are stuck in adolescent grade school behaviors and ideas where your little head constantly rules your big head. You are running around like an animal only interested in meeting your base needs, like a cave man going ugh ugh. Since you are stuck in the world of meeting your own needs continually, of course you are unable to understand women or get to know them from a nonsexual point of view. You are being superficial with women in order to make a conquest and have little respect for them. Women's feelings are no more delicate then men's are. Yes, women are different that is what is great about us. We are a lot more than a vagina as men are more than a penis.

And if all men had the same attitudes as you then we would have to move back to a culturally backwards society where women have to be at home because all the men are animals out there and we need to be protected from the likes of you. What if my boss thought like you do? I could not respect nor work for him because he would always be looking at all the women in my office as meat.

Then you cry I cannot help myself...you have that little of control over your thoughts and actions?

The reason you have no control is because you don't want to....it is all about pleasing yourself and meeting your own selfish needs. When you start thinking about others and esteeming them above yourself and your needs, then you will make the effort to control your thoughts and behaviors. You will show respect and have integrity towards others and yourself. Do you have a sister (s)? Would you want men looking at your sister (s) and treating them like you do? I hope not or you are a man to be most pitied.

In a few years you may eventually learn that this current type of existence is shallow and that you could have enjoyed such depth and richness to your relationships that you missed out on with all the women you have known. It is an effort to get to know us and understand us but that is the fun and joy of it all. That is part of the adventure.

But why change? It is easier being a cave man going ugh ugh, grunting and farting with all your male friends.

But, if you truly are serious and want to understand then start looking beyond yourself and your own needs; esteem others greater than yourself showing them integrity and respect. Gain control of yourself - both thoughts and actions. Make the effort to learn about our uniqueness, not for the purpose of making a sexual conquest, but to sincerely get to know who and what we are about.

I am sorry if I seemed hard on you. The truth is sometimes hard and ugly. The first step towards change is knowledge of where you are and acknowledging where you need to go. The journey may not always be easy but it is worth it. Do you want to stay stuck in that fish bowl the rest of your life or do you want to swim in the vastness of the ocean? It may seem safe and fun to stay where you are but you will miss the beauty and the wonders to behold as well as experience by staying in your own little world. But then of course you wouldn't know what you are missing. It is your choice.

Hey, i love a viscous personal attack from a stranger on the internet as much as anyone, but I never the less have to strongly disagree with your condescending and heavily judgmental point of view ( i`d hate to be the poor bastard that gets stuck with this lady) What makes you an expert on a man's point of view anyway? Who are you to pass judgment on anyone, did God make you HISOWN personal spokes-hillbilly here on eharmony? What credentials do you posses that i should assign any value to anything you say? As far as i can tell your just a bitter person with a pissy attitude. YouTube - Mean Mother You can rest assured that your opinions of me mean less then nothing, and are absolutely meaningless because you don't even know me.

All i'm doing is being honest and candid and expressing my point of view on a discussion board created specifically for that purpose. As such, I refuse to be hen pecked by some mean spirited old nag with an internet connection and a bad attitude. Its a mistake to believe that men and women share the same attitudes about sex, and platonic relationships etc. I'm here giving you an honest point of view, would it be better if i was spouting pleasant lies, and bs?Guess what, you can believe whatever you want for all i care. If you want to look at the world through Mickey Mouse glasses its of no consequence to me. You flatter yourself if you think that you bring any "wisdom" to the table. Your "fish bowl" analogy was facile and pointless, not to mention the fact that it fails to explain anything. If you want to prove me wrong you must show me an error in my reasoning, not just hurl insults at me. YouTube - Corey Holcomb @ Laffapalooza YouTube - Do Women Like To Be Lied To?
Last edited by ANDR3W; November 18th, 2009 at 10:14 pm. Reason: grammar
- November 18th, 2009, 03:00 pm
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